Nigeria 2023 Elections: A Crime Scene

The 2023 Nigeria general elections have been a complete sham, and a retrogression of our nascent democracy. Whatever gains Professor Jega made, have been eroded with reckless abandon by Professor Yakubu. However, he has a litany of accomplices in this dance of shame. 

The sheer violence, the affront of impunity, the daylight irregularities and perhaps more reprehensible, is the enthronement of ethnic spite. The ethnic and tribal sentiments have been magnified more than ever in recent history. We came into this election believing that we will see a president emerge in the mould of MKO Abiola; where acceptance transcends ethnic and religious lines. But alas, we dreamt too big. The election results shows us that our ethnic and religious differences remain ready tools for manipulation by those whose primordial interests are more sacrosanct than the greater good. 

In the final inquest, the post-mortem on the Nigeria 2023 general elections writes itself. A third force have been born but at what cost? Our ethnic and religious divisions are land mines waiting to explode. ‘Service to the people’ is a must by those who ‘want to serve.’ The youths have had their say but not their way. This is Nigeria. 

Sometimes, it felt like the entire country was a crime scene, and we were helpless pawns watching it burn.

Qatar 2022 – A World Cup For The Ages

 

As the dust begin to find some semblance of calmness after what has been a month of sheer rollercoasters, we reflect on what has been; and what will be at the back of this. 

Cue December 2nd 2010. The then FIFA president, Sepp Blatter, has just announced a hitherto unknown footballing name as the host of the 2022 World Cup. The Zurich conference hall was reeling with the news and the western media were readying their inks for the diatribes that will follow. The circumstances surrounding Qatar’s emergence as host will yet be fully unraveled; what was clear was that it was a moment of footballing watershed; and even that might be putting it mildly.

Qatar spent approximately $200 billion preparing for this World Cup. To put this into perspective, Russia who hosted the event in 2018 and Brazil in 2014, had a combined spend of approximately $25 billion. This staggering jump was certainly Qatar saying to the rest of the world - “We shall give you a treat. Never mind the money.” The infrastructures built were glaring. For the first time in a football stadium, I was genuinely freezing with a jacket on. The metro was refurbished. Massive housing emerged. The entire country wore the event as a cloak. From Corniche to Lusail, from Al Bidda to Msheireb, you can tell that there is a fiesta going on. Try as they did, the western media efforts to discredit Qatar and make a ridicule of the spectacle fell on its knees. For many months, it was sheer propaganda and a bucketload of virtue signaling. From LGBTQ clamour to Human Rights concerns, the western media drummed the beats of war loudly but falsely. Some of the commentaries were as hypocritical as they come, and this is not even an attempt to go the whataboutism route. One of the outlets even reported that men would not be allowed to ‘wear shorts’ in Qatar. And oh, who knew that we could have fun without alcohol? While Qatar is not a perfect country, it had asked for respect for its conservatism and culture. It certainly wasn’t too much to ask for one would think.

Perhaps, the biggest story of this World Cup was the footballing experience itself. It is not a mark of senility that you would struggle to remember any World Cup with so many giant slaying stories, upsets, late twists, firsts and fairy tale endings. Qatar 2022 had it in abundance. If it wasn’t Saudi Arabia defeating Argentina, it was Morocco giving us a Cinderella story. The drama was everywhere, and to behold it live, was a true privilege.

And yes, this was a World Cup with many firsts. This was the first FIFA World Cup to take place in the Arab world. It was also the first time fans could attend multiple tournament matches per day. I thought this was a ‘dead on arrival idea’ until I arrived in Qatar to see that all eight stadiums are within 2 hours distance of one another. Yet, this is not all. The stadium 974 is the first fully demountable FIFA World Cup venue. Add to the fact that stadiums were fitted with air conditioning to keep players and fans cool. For the first time too, the official mascot of the FIFA World Cup could talk – La’eeb. And then we had an all-female referee line-up officiate a match in the men’s tournament for the first time

What will be the legacy of this tournament? Well, some of the statistics present us with some pointers. 2,450,000 fans attended Group Stage matches with stadiums at 96% capacity. 88,966 fans attended the Argentina v Mexico match at Lusail Stadium, the highest attendance since the 1994 FIFA World Cup Final. 16,687,498 passengers have been transported by both the Metro and Lusail Tram. And how about this for a cheeky stat - Fan noise recorded at Uruguay v Korea Republic – was 131 decibels. As loud as a plane taking off. It remains to be seen what this world cup will mean for Qatar as a nation going forward. One is tempted to think that for the country, it was more a repositioning opportunity, a chance to announce itself loudly more than it was an economic motive. Time will tell if those objectives have and will be fully met in the aftermath of the competition. However, one thing will remain extant – Qatar served us with some remarkable footballing experience, unforgettable side attractions, and a reminder that this sport we all love so much is a global one that speaks all languages!

19 Great Truths My Grandmother Told Me on Her 90th Birthday

1. There are thousands of people who live their entire lives on the default settings, never realizing they can customize everything. – Don’t settle for the default settings in life. Find your loves, your talents, your passions, and embrace them. Don’t hide behind other people’s decisions. Don’t let others tell you what you want. Design YOUR journey every step of the way! The life you create from doing something that moves you is far better than the life you get from sitting around wishing you were doing it.

2. The right journey is the ultimate destination. – The most prolific and beneficial experience in life is not in actually achieving something you want, but in seeking it. It’s the journey towards an endless horizon that matters—goals and dreams that move forward with you as you chase them. It’s all about meaningful pursuits—the “moving”—and what you learn along the way. Truly, the most important reason for moving from one place to another is to see what’s in between. In between is where passions are realized, love is found, strength is gained, and priceless life-long memories are made.

3. The willingness to do hard things opens great windows of opportunity. – One of the most important abilities you can develop in life is the willingness to accept and grow through times of difficulty and discomfort. Because the best things are often hard to come by, at least initially. And if you shy away from difficulty and discomfort, you’ll miss out on them entirely. Mastering a new skill is hard. Building a business is hard. Writing a book is hard. A marriage is hard. Parenting is hard. Staying healthy is hard. But all are amazing and worth every bit of effort you can muster. Realize this now. If you get good at doing hard things, you can do almost anything you put your mind to.

4. Small, incremental changes always change everything in the long run. – The concept of taking it one step at a time might seem absurdly obvious, but at some point we all get caught up in the moment and find ourselves yearning for instant gratification. We want what we want, and we want it now! And this yearning often tricks us into biting off more than we can chew. So, remind yourself: you can’t lift a thousand pounds all at once, yet you can easily lift one pound a thousand times. Tiny, repeated efforts will get you there, gradually. (Angel and I build tiny, life-changing rituals with our students in the “Goals and Growth” module of the Getting Back to Happy course.)

5. No one wins a game of chess, or the game of life, by only moving forward. – Sometimes you have to move backward to put yourself in a position to win. Because sometimes, when it feels like you’re running into one dead end after another, it’s actually a sign that you’re not on the right path. Maybe you were meant to hang a left back when you took a right, and that’s perfectly fine. Life gradually teaches us that U-turns are allowed. So turn around when you must! There’s a big difference between giving up and starting over in the right direction.

6. The biggest disappointments in life are often the result of misplaced expectations. – When we are young our expectations are few, but as we age our expectations tend to balloon with each passing year. The key is to understand that tempering unrealistic expectations of how something “should be” can greatly reduce unnecessary stress and frustration. With a positive attitude and an open mind, we often find that life isn’t necessarily any easier or harder than we thought it was going to be; it’s just that “the easy” and “the hard” aren’t always the way we had anticipated, and don’t always occur when we expect them to. This isn’t a bad thing—it makes life interesting, if we are willing to see it that way.

7. Our character is often most evident at our highs and lows. – Be humble at the mountaintops, be strong in the valleys, and be faithful in between. And on particularly hard days when you feel that you can’t endure, remind yourself that your track record for getting through hard days is 100% so far.

8. Life changes from moment to moment, and so can you. – When hard times hit there’s a tendency to extrapolate and assume the future holds more of the same. For some strange reason this doesn’t happen as much when things are going well. A laugh, a smile, and a warm fuzzy feeling are fleeting and we know it. We take the good times at face value in the moment for all they’re worth and then we let them go. But when we’re depressed, struggling, or fearful, it’s easy to heap on more pain by assuming tomorrow will be exactly like today. This is a cyclical, self-fulfilling prophecy. If you don’t allow yourself to move past what happened, what was said, what was felt, you will look at your future through that same dirty lens, and nothing will be able to focus your foggy judgment. You will keep on justifying, reliving, and fueling a perception that is worn out and false.

9. You can fight and win the battles of today, only. – No matter what’s happening, you can resourcefully fight the battles of just one day. It’s only when you add the battles of those two mind-bending eternities, yesterday and tomorrow, that life gets overwhelmingly difficult and complicated.

10. Not being “OK” all the time is normal. – Sometimes not being OK is all we can register inside our tired brains and aching hearts. This emotion is human, and accepting it can feel like a small weight lifted. Truth be told, it’s not OK when someone you care about is no longer living and breathing and giving their amazing gifts to the world. It’s not OK when everything falls apart and you’re buried deep in the wreckage of a life you had planned for. It’s not OK when the bank account is nearly at zero, with no clear sign of a promising income opportunity. It’s not OK when someone you trusted betrays you and breaks your heart. It’s not OK when you’re emotionally drained to the point that you can’t get yourself out of bed in the morning. It’s not OK when you’re engulfed in failure or shame or a grief like you’ve never known before. Whatever your tough times consist of, sometimes it’s just NOT OK right now. And that realization is more than OK.

11. Sensitivity can be a super power. – Although sensitivity is often perceived as a weakness in our culture, to feel intensely is not a symptom of weakness; it is the characteristic of a truly alive and compassionate human being. It is not the sensitive person who is broken, it is society’s understanding that has become dysfunctional and emotionally incapacitated. There is zero shame in expressing your authentic feelings. Those who are at times described as being “too emotional” or “complicated” are the very fabric of what keeps the dream alive for a more thoughtful, caring and humane world. Never be ashamed to let your feelings, smiles and tears shine a light in this world.

12. Opening up to someone who cares can heal a broken heart. – Deep heartbreak is kind of like being lost in the woods—every direction leads to nowhere at first. When you are standing in a forest of darkness, you can’t see any light that could ever lead you home. But if you wait for the sun to rise again, and listen when someone assures you that they themselves have stood in that same dark place, and have since moved forward with their life, oftentimes this will bring the hope that’s needed.

13. Solitude is important, too. – Speaking to someone can help, but in moderation. Sometimes the moments you feel lonely are the moments you may most need to be by yourself. This is one of life’s cruelest ironies. We need solitude, because when we’re alone we’re detached from obligations, we don’t need to put on a show, and we can hear our own thoughts and feel what our intuition is telling us. And the truth is, throughout your life there will be times when the world gets real quiet and the only thing left is the beat of your own heart. So you’d better learn the sound of it, otherwise you’ll never understand what it’s telling you.

14. Most of the time you don’t need more to be happier—you need less. – When things aren’t adding up in your life, begin subtracting. Life gets a lot simpler and more enjoyable when you clear the emotional and physical clutter that makes it unnecessarily complicated. (Angel and I guide our readers though this process of simplifying and getting back to happy in our brand new book.)

15. Beginning each day with love, grace and gratitude always feels better than the alternative. – When you arise in the morning think of what an incredible privilege it is to be alive—to be, to see, to hear, to think, to love, to have something to look forward to. Happiness is a big part of these little parts of your life—and joy is simply the feeling of appreciating it all. Realize that it’s not happiness that makes us grateful, but gratefulness that makes us happy. Make a ritual of noticing the goodness that’s already yours first thing in the morning, and you will see more goodness everywhere you look throughout the day.

16. Who we choose to be around matters immensely. – Spend time with nice people who are smart, driven and likeminded. Relationships should help you, not hurt you. Surround yourself with people who reflect the person you want to be. Choose friends who you are proud to know, people you admire, who love and respect you—people who make your day a little brighter simply by being in it. Ultimately, the people in your life make all the difference in the person you are capable of being. Life is just too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you. When you free yourself from these people, you free yourself to be YOU. And being YOU is the only way to truly live.

17. Relationship boundaries are life-savers. – When someone treats you like you’re just one of many options, again and again, help them narrow their choices by removing yourself from the equation. Sometimes you have to try not to care, no matter how much you do. Because sometimes you can mean almost nothing to someone who means so much to you. It’s not pride—it’s self-respect. Don’t give part-time people a full-time position in your life. Know your value and what you have to offer, and never settle for anything less than what you’ve earned.

18. It’s during the toughest times of your life that you’ll get to see the true colors of the people who say they care about you. – Notice who sticks around and who doesn’t, and be grateful to those who leave you, for they have given you the room to grow in the space they abandoned, and the awareness to appreciate the people who loved you when you didn’t feel lovable.

19. New opportunities are always out there waiting for you. – Nobody gets through life without losing someone they love, something they need, or something they thought was meant to be. But it is these very losses that make us stronger and eventually move us toward future opportunities. Embrace these opportunities. Enter new relationships and new situations, knowing that you are venturing into unfamiliar territory. Be ready to learn, be ready for a challenge, and be ready to experience something or meet someone that just might change your life forever.

(MARCANDANGEL).

21 Things I Learnt In 2021

2021 has truly been a remarkable year, and that is not just a cliché. It’s been a year dipped in known uncertainties and under a cloud of novel proportions. Below are some of my reflections that resonated this year:

1. Life isn’t about a single moment of great triumph and attainment. It’s about the trials and errors that get you there—the blood, sweat, and tears—the small, inconsequential things you do every day. It all matters in the end—every step, every regret, every decision, and every affliction.

2. We must be ready to put in the work for the things we desire. If you want a job, be ready to work. If you want a relationship, be ready to work. If you want a family, be ready to work. If you want happiness, be ready.

3. Life will happen to all of us. None of us will escape the pangs of life. The unpredictability will happen. If the last two years have thought us anything, it is this fact!

4. You can always control the way you respond to what happens, and in your response is your power.

5. Consistency will always trump hardwork, talent, sponsorship. Stay with it. Just stay!

6. If you live long enough you will understand that even when it seems personal, rarely do people do things because of you, they do things because of them.

7. Your heart might be bruised, but it will gradually heal and become capable of feeling the beauty of life once again. It’s happened to you before, and it will happen again – life is always changing.

8. It’s not the mistakes and failures you have to worry about, it’s the opportunities you miss when you don’t even try that hurt you the most.

9. More than ever before I have come to the realization that there is always a lie lingering in between a dream and too many excuses. And the lie is you lying to yourself.

10. When all is said and done, grief is the price you pay for love. And it’s better to have loved, lost and learned, than to have never loved at all.

11. We often time have a notion that doing nothing and just having a nice time is a waste of time. That is a lie. Life is not all about ‘doing things and tasks and targets.’ Sometimes, doing nothing is enough.

12. We all have days when we’re not our best. And the older we grow, the more we realize how important it is to give others the break we hope the world will give us on our own bad days.

13. Some people wait all day for 5pm, all week for Friday, all year for the holidays, all their lives for happiness and peace. Don’t be one of them. Life is too short. Time is running out. Don’t wait until your life is almost over to realize how good it has been.

14. Daily kindness is truly a beautiful legacy to leave behind.

15. Take action, work hard, but don’t forget to pause and pay attention to life’s little moments too. That’s honestly one of my biggest learnings reinforced in 2021.

16. It’s nice to have acquaintances. It’s important to be friendly. But don’t get carried away and spread yourself too thin. Leave plenty of time for those who matter most to you. Your time is extremely limited

17. If you always play the victim, you will always be treated like one. Life isn’t fair, but no one promises us it was going to be. Just deal with it.

18. You will never feel as confident as you want to feel.  Stop believing that you should feel more confident before you take the next step.  Taking the next step is what builds your confidence.

19. Patience is not about waiting.  Patience is the ability to keep a positive, focused attitude while working hard to move your life forward.

20. When things aren’t adding up in your life, begin subtracting.  Life gets a lot simpler when you clear the clutter that makes it complicated.  Not everything and everyone you lose is a loss.

21. Forget popularity.  Just do your thing with passion, humility, and honesty.  Do what you do, not for an applause, but because it’s what’s right.  Many of the kindest gestures you’ll ever make, and the most important things you’ll ever do, will never be seen publicly.  Do them anyway.

We Are All Bullies: Reflections From Sylvester's Death

 

Recently, there have been a outcry over the unfortunate death of Sylvester Oromoni. A young man, cut short in his prime in his pursuit of the golden fleece of knowledge. The circumstances surrounding the death of Sylvester is replete in public domain, and to rehash it here will be to somewhat relive the harrowing experience twice. No child, heck, no one should be subjected to such perilous experience, and the story of his demise is begging for more answers than questions. But before we go on a tangent of how Dowen College is the guinea pig here, one cannot help but wonder if we are not all accomplice as a society. That Sylvester went through such horror is one thing, but that there was an enabling environment that made the horror possible is another thing. Simply put, we all failed Sylvester. We are indeed a society of bullies.

In many workplaces today, many are subjected to all sorts of inhumane treatment in their quest for a better life. Bosses parade themselves as demi gods who must be feared, worshipped and adored. These bullies take advantage of the decayed economy and the overbloated vault of unemployed Nigerians. Employees are at the mercy of employers with our porous labour laws hardly providing succour. They are harassed, assaulted and bullied. Some of these bullies will be the first to have their nose in the air and heave in contempt of the bullies in Sylvester's story. Hypocrisy at its finest.

Nigeria ranks high in the list of countries with great degree of domestic violence. There are bullies in many homes. Husbands who pound their wives, physically and emotionally. Wives who do the same. Domestic helps who are treated as sub-humans and the list is endless. Yet, some of these people will be acolytes in the Sylvester Oromoni justice procession. Some of them will take front row in the discourse. Who is fooling who? 

We are a nation of bullies. Everyday, in our streets we see people trying so vehemently to take advantage of others. The places of worship and business enterprises are not spared. When stories such as that of Sylvester manifests, many try to pretend that there are no parallels with their bullying lifestyles in their own little world. We fane empathy, we dawn the toga of concern, we tweet and post heartbroken emojis, we write epistles on Facebook. It is a just thing to speak up in the face of injustice but the table of justice is one that we must come to with clean hands. We all failed Sylvester by contributing to a culture that breeds and embolden bullies. While we seek Justice for Sylvester, we should be circumspect and look inwards. Are we not really guilty of bullying in some aspects of our individual lives and interactions? 

10 Things You Do NOT Need to Be Happier in Life

 

1. To please everyone – Be careful not to give so much of yourself to others that you end up completely losing yourself. When you go around pleasing everyone but yourself, you are the one that gets hurt in the end. The late and great Herbert Bayard Swope said it like this: “I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.” That is spot on advice if you ask me. Because truthfully, you are never going to please everyone anyway. At some point you will hold an unpopular opinion – one that gives you meaning and makes you feel alive. And when you do, you ought to hold on tight, tune out the noise, and make it count.

2. Everything to be easy – You have to do hard things to be happy in life. The things no one else is doing. The things that frighten you. The things others can’t do for you. The things that make you question how much longer you can hold on and push forward. Because those are the things that define you. Those are the things that make the difference between existing and living – between knowing the path and walking the path – between a life of mediocrity and a life filled with happiness and success.

3. Certainty and guarantees – Some people build too many walls in their lives and not enough bridges. It sounds crazy, but they would rather be certain they’re miserable, than risk being happy. Don’t be one of them. Open yourself up. Take chances. Run free. To accomplish amazing things, you must not only act, but also dream, not only plan, but also believe. Be a dreamer, a believer, and a courageous and cheerful thinker. Be a positive motivator, a productive doer, and a go-getter who keeps her head in the clouds and her feet on the ground. Let the spirit of passion and possibility ignite a fire within you to do something worthwhile today and every day, and don’t forget to spread your enthusiasm to those around you. 

4. To be better than others – The size of our universe shrinks dramatically when we place ourselves at the center – when we think everyone is our competition – when we think we have to be richer, smarter, and more attractive than the person sitting next to us. Such a goal just keeps a person alienated and tirelessly running in place. Now, on the flip-side, take someone who doesn’t keep score, who’s not looking to be richer, or smarter, or more attractive, who has not the slightest interest even in being better than anyone else: she’s free. Bottom line: Compete with yourself only.

5. More control over everything and everyone – Sometimes we put too much interest into trying to control every tiny aspect of our lives. Learn to relax and ride the path that life takes you sometimes. Incredible change will happen in your life when you decide to take control of what you do have power over instead of craving control over what you do not. Freeing yourself from trying to control the insignificant and uncontrollable things lets you experience more of the goodness around you. In fact, the greatest joys are often the unexpected surprises that arrive when you are flexible and open to life’s twists and turns.

6. Immense moments of glory – Graduations, wedding days, lavish vacations – these times are often fun-filled and deeply celebrated, but these times pass, because time passes. This is something we rarely grasp at first. True, lasting happiness is found in the appreciation of all the small things. For me, there are random moments – tossing a salad, coming up the driveway to our home, ironing the seams flat on a dress shirt, standing at the kitchen window and looking out at the sun rising over the Austin skyline, hearing a giggle from my son who’s playing in the other room – when I feel a wavelike rush of joy. This is my true happiness: arbitrary moments of sudden, throbbing appreciation for a life I feel privileged to lead.

7. Other people to constantly validate me – Relationships are essential, but happiness originates from within. It is not exclusively dependent on external validation or on other people. You become vulnerable and can be easily hurt when your feelings of security and happiness depend entirely on the behavior and actions of others. Keep this in mind. Never give all your power to anyone else. Until you make complete peace with who you are, you’ll never be content with what you have or who you’re with. Learn to love and respect yourself first, before loving the idea of other people loving and respecting you.

8. Perfect harmony in all relationships at all times – Harmony in relationships is nice when it’s sincere, but too often we try to fake it. Effective communication is king. You have to talk it out sometimes. After all, the only way to be happy in life is to live with integrity. This means: Not settling for less than what you know you deserve in your relationships. Being clear and asking for what you want and need from others. Speaking your truth, even though it might create occasional tension. Behaving in ways that are in agreement with your personal values. Making choices based on what you believe, and not just what others believe. 

9. A superior time and place – The reason many people find it so hard to be happy is that they always see the past better than it was, the present worse than it is, and the future less resolved than it will be. The key, of course, is to do the opposite. Appreciate your past without reliving it, handle your present with confidence, and face your future without fear. Life is simply too short to spend at war with yourself. Letting go of the past and future is your first step to happiness and peace in the present. Realize that you are today where your thoughts and actions have brought you; you will be tomorrow where your thoughts and actions today take you. Bottom line: You can’t stop the future. You can’t rewind the past. The only way to live is to press play, and dance.

10. Happiness 24/7 – Absolutely no one is happy all of the time. Because you simply can’t be happy unless you’re unhappy sometimes. This is a harsh truth, I know. Just keep in mind that it’s perfectly normal to experience considerable fluctuations in your level of happiness from day to day, month to month, and even year to year. Believing and expecting otherwise will only lead to disillusionment. But even when life is less than blissful, you are still in charge of how you respond. Choose positivity, always. The greatest act of faith some days is to simply get up and face the day, with a smile.

(MARCANDANGEL).

How Are You Really?

 

Simon Sinek once said that the litmus test to see if you really care is this – when you ask someone ‘How are you,’ do you genuinely wait and listen for the answer. As simple as that sounds, it is profound. People can see through the façade, and for the most part, you can often tell when someone genuinely cares.

Recently, the circus that is Social Media trend was agog with revelations by American actress turned Duchess of Sussex (by marrying Prince Harry), Meghan Markle, that she was suicidal. While there are a lot to unpack in that interview with Oprah, what cannot be disputed is the reality that ‘looks are deceptive,’ and in the words of Meghan herself ‘You have no idea what is going on for someone behind closed doors. Even the people that smile the biggest smiles and shine the brightest light (it seems) you have to have compassion.’

The conversation of mental health in Nigeria has slowly but surely begin to attain relevancy in public discourse. Where weakness was hitherto associated with vulnerability, the narrative is starting to turn on its head. This is partly so because of cases of more and more Nigerians committing suicide, amplified by social media. The attainment to some form of prominence for the subject of mental health can also be attributed to the fact that many battling the scourge are also exhausted, and are beginning to seek for help now; help that is becoming more available than in the past.

With the risk of sounding like a broken record, the place of mental health today cannot be over-emphasized. There are layers of issues many are contending with, and there are no pass marks for ‘performance’ amidst a dissonance with your reality. There is no shame in asking for help. Find a core group of persons you can share with. Be open with this core, be vulnerable. Speak about these things and unravel the layers. Stay away from those who force you to ‘perform’ when you are with them and open the blinds of your life a bit more. Depression is a fat big bully, and like every bully, when you confront it, you will see that there wasn’t much substance to it in the first place.

When mental health acolytes advocate for empathy, it should not be mistaken for sympathy. While one is a call to connect to our humanity, the other can border on the superfluous even though it has its own place. Empathy is so sacrosanct in a world that is becoming rifer with ‘getting back at people,’ quick to sell the ‘cancel culture’ and eager to hurl the ‘savage response’ stones. There is no grace or 'wokeness' in these. Particularly on social media, be circumspect in your exchanges, responses and overall candor. It is possible and fine to hold an opinion that is different from the next person. Afterall, no one is an arbiter of the truism of trends, news and opinions. Be easy in your exchanges; there are no prizes for holding an opinion.

In the final analysis, we are all contending with something, fighting our personal demons and battling with things that scourge our hearts. We all fight differently. Some are famed logophile with their struggles, others are sheer taciturn. There are no right or wrong with these things. Finally, look after yourself. Be great at your job or whatever you do but ensure you can see the wood for the tree in the grand scheme of your life.