The Art of Being Grateful on Really Hard Days

If you’re always grateful for the little things, it’s hard to avoid happiness. It’s a lack of gratitude that often keeps us feeling down.

Yes, there are incredibly painful parts of my life, and it’s OK to feel the pain they bring. But it’s also important that I remember the rest of my life too, and to also remember that even the painful experiences make life as intricate and remarkable as it is.

The bottom line is that the art of being grateful on really hard days starts with you. And make no mistake about it: the secret to being grateful is no secret. You choose to be grateful. Then you do it again and again. If you forget, begin again.

A few minutes per day spent journaling a gratitude list, or just reflecting on what you’re grateful for at the moment, can change your life. Do it every morning or evening, by setting a reminder alarm if you must, and see how it affects you.

Don’t rush through it either—don’t do it carelessly. Really try to feel genuine gratitude in your heart and mind for everything you list. Focus on the little miracles in your life. And appreciate all your progress too. You’ve been through a lot, but you’ve grown a lot through the ups and downs. Give yourself credit and gratitude for your resilience, and how far you’ve come.

(MARCANDANGEL).

Always Say Yes!

Last week, I was part of an International Womens’ Day conference in Europe. One of the guest speakers was Kristin Kragseth, the CEO of Var Energi. In a speech that lasted almost 40 minutes, she made a litany of profound, and honestly, didactic points. However, the big takeaway for me was this ‘when someone asks you if you could do a task, or offers you an opportunity, always say yes. You might have constrains and limitations, but first say yes before your buts. When someone believes in you, don’t be the one to put limitations on yourself.’

Those words pierced me so hard, I knew instantly that I was going to make a blog post out of it. Personally, this has been my story for the most part. I have said ‘Yes’ to opportunities I felt ill prepared for at the time. I have said ‘Yes’ to leadership positions I knew next to nothing about at the time I was being offered. But now I look back in hindsight, I can say in all good conscience that those ‘Yes’ have made a huge difference.

The caveat though is that if it is an opportunity you don’t want for personal reasons, or if it is one that makes you compromise on your core values, then it is fine to say ‘No.’ The focus here is when there is a genuine opportunity for growth at work, school, business, church, whatever.

The point is this – before someone offers you an opportunity, they must have seen something in you that convinces them that you are good enough to be given a chance. Certainly, no one is the finished article as at the time of being offered a chance. That feeling of unease and sense of inadequacy is only normal and comes with the terrain. I have always believed that there is hardly any job that is rocket science except maybe rocket science itself. This is to say that we can master almost anything, it just needs time and a bit of sheer application.

Many have passed up fantastic opportunities at different times in life because they thought of themselves as being ‘not good enough’, but to never try is to never fully know. Little wonder Richard Branson once said, ‘If somebody offers you an amazing opportunity but you are not sure you can do it, say yes – then learn how to do it later!’ The trick is to always say yes. Your ‘yes’ can make all the difference.

7 Things You Never Have to Wear Again

1. You never again have to wear the guilt of your past.
Guilt and regret about the past aren’t serving your present. In fact, because of that guilt, you aren’t fully enjoying your current life. Whether it is guilt about letting go of something in your closet that you spent too much on, or guilt about a past relationship or anything in between, you have paid enough. You’ve paid with your money, time, attention and emotion. You can stop paying now. Let go, apologize, forgive and choose to live free of guilt and regret.

2. You never again have to wear your pain.
How many times have you tried to shop away your pain? Retail therapy is an expensive way to relieve the pain of boredom, frustration and heart ache and it only delivers temporary relief. You can’t shop your way out of of pain. I tried and it didn’t work. I did learn though that you can shop yourself into a tremendous amount of debt which leads to more pain, and then more shopping.

Instead of wearing your pain, trade shopping for self care. When you are in pain your heart isn’t saying, “Let’s go shopping.” It’s saying, “Please, take care of me.”

3. You never again have to wear the pressure to prove yourself.
I tried to prove who I was by what I wore and by what I accomplished. The problem was that there was always more to prove and eventually I forgot who I was in the process.

If you have to prove yourself to people you love, that isn’t love. If you struggle to prove yourself at work, maybe you aren’t doing the right work. If you don’t believe me, just stop for a while. Stop pushing and proving and wishing that people would see you the way you think you need to be seen to succeed. Instead, let them see you for you. It’s then that you can finally really be you.

4. You never again have to wear your failures.
Failure gets such a bad rap but it’s nothing more than a stepping stone to success. It’s through the failures that we learn new approaches and ways of doing things. You don’t have to feel sad or bad for failing because if you are failing, that means you are trying. If you must wear your failures, wear them with a smile. You earned them and now you are using them to better your life.

5. You never again have to wear goals you’ve outgrown.
Letting go of goals and dreams can be the most challenging of all. As our lives change, we change, and things that seemed so important years ago may slowly fade away. Instead of beating yourself up for not achieving your old goals, focus on your new dreams and develop goals or bucket lists that reflect who you are right now.

Additionally, make sure your goals are your goals. Are they yours or are they goals that you think other people have for you or expect from you. Let go of any that aren’t yours. The difference you will make in the world when you start chasing YOUR dreams and goals will be extraordinary.

6. You never again have to wear everything you think.
Often, our thoughts can weigh us down but thoughts are just thoughts. Some are true and real and some aren’t. When we cling too tightly to believing everything we think, we distance ourselves from the truth. Questioning the truth of my thoughts has prevented me from over reacting in some situations and helped me let go of other things more easily. Once you realize that all of your thoughts aren’t true, they will be much lighter.

7. You never again have to wear other people’s expectations.
Giving myself permission to let go of my need to meet other people’s expectations or to feel any kind of way based on judgements (good or bad) helps me to trust myself and allows me to love my life regardless of outside feedback. I’m not good or bad or right or wrong because of what anyone else thinks. I can’t control what they think and I’m not going to change myself trying.

When you stop wearing the weight of other people’s expectations and judgements, you’ll be more connected to who you are and to what matters to you. When you let go of what other people think, you’ll gain clarity and freedom to enjoy your life.

(MARCANDANGEL).