21 Things I Learnt In 2021

2021 has truly been a remarkable year, and that is not just a cliché. It’s been a year dipped in known uncertainties and under a cloud of novel proportions. Below are some of my reflections that resonated this year:

1. Life isn’t about a single moment of great triumph and attainment. It’s about the trials and errors that get you there—the blood, sweat, and tears—the small, inconsequential things you do every day. It all matters in the end—every step, every regret, every decision, and every affliction.

2. We must be ready to put in the work for the things we desire. If you want a job, be ready to work. If you want a relationship, be ready to work. If you want a family, be ready to work. If you want happiness, be ready.

3. Life will happen to all of us. None of us will escape the pangs of life. The unpredictability will happen. If the last two years have thought us anything, it is this fact!

4. You can always control the way you respond to what happens, and in your response is your power.

5. Consistency will always trump hardwork, talent, sponsorship. Stay with it. Just stay!

6. If you live long enough you will understand that even when it seems personal, rarely do people do things because of you, they do things because of them.

7. Your heart might be bruised, but it will gradually heal and become capable of feeling the beauty of life once again. It’s happened to you before, and it will happen again – life is always changing.

8. It’s not the mistakes and failures you have to worry about, it’s the opportunities you miss when you don’t even try that hurt you the most.

9. More than ever before I have come to the realization that there is always a lie lingering in between a dream and too many excuses. And the lie is you lying to yourself.

10. When all is said and done, grief is the price you pay for love. And it’s better to have loved, lost and learned, than to have never loved at all.

11. We often time have a notion that doing nothing and just having a nice time is a waste of time. That is a lie. Life is not all about ‘doing things and tasks and targets.’ Sometimes, doing nothing is enough.

12. We all have days when we’re not our best. And the older we grow, the more we realize how important it is to give others the break we hope the world will give us on our own bad days.

13. Some people wait all day for 5pm, all week for Friday, all year for the holidays, all their lives for happiness and peace. Don’t be one of them. Life is too short. Time is running out. Don’t wait until your life is almost over to realize how good it has been.

14. Daily kindness is truly a beautiful legacy to leave behind.

15. Take action, work hard, but don’t forget to pause and pay attention to life’s little moments too. That’s honestly one of my biggest learnings reinforced in 2021.

16. It’s nice to have acquaintances. It’s important to be friendly. But don’t get carried away and spread yourself too thin. Leave plenty of time for those who matter most to you. Your time is extremely limited

17. If you always play the victim, you will always be treated like one. Life isn’t fair, but no one promises us it was going to be. Just deal with it.

18. You will never feel as confident as you want to feel.  Stop believing that you should feel more confident before you take the next step.  Taking the next step is what builds your confidence.

19. Patience is not about waiting.  Patience is the ability to keep a positive, focused attitude while working hard to move your life forward.

20. When things aren’t adding up in your life, begin subtracting.  Life gets a lot simpler when you clear the clutter that makes it complicated.  Not everything and everyone you lose is a loss.

21. Forget popularity.  Just do your thing with passion, humility, and honesty.  Do what you do, not for an applause, but because it’s what’s right.  Many of the kindest gestures you’ll ever make, and the most important things you’ll ever do, will never be seen publicly.  Do them anyway.

We Are All Bullies: Reflections From Sylvester's Death

 

Recently, there have been a outcry over the unfortunate death of Sylvester Oromoni. A young man, cut short in his prime in his pursuit of the golden fleece of knowledge. The circumstances surrounding the death of Sylvester is replete in public domain, and to rehash it here will be to somewhat relive the harrowing experience twice. No child, heck, no one should be subjected to such perilous experience, and the story of his demise is begging for more answers than questions. But before we go on a tangent of how Dowen College is the guinea pig here, one cannot help but wonder if we are not all accomplice as a society. That Sylvester went through such horror is one thing, but that there was an enabling environment that made the horror possible is another thing. Simply put, we all failed Sylvester. We are indeed a society of bullies.

In many workplaces today, many are subjected to all sorts of inhumane treatment in their quest for a better life. Bosses parade themselves as demi gods who must be feared, worshipped and adored. These bullies take advantage of the decayed economy and the overbloated vault of unemployed Nigerians. Employees are at the mercy of employers with our porous labour laws hardly providing succour. They are harassed, assaulted and bullied. Some of these bullies will be the first to have their nose in the air and heave in contempt of the bullies in Sylvester's story. Hypocrisy at its finest.

Nigeria ranks high in the list of countries with great degree of domestic violence. There are bullies in many homes. Husbands who pound their wives, physically and emotionally. Wives who do the same. Domestic helps who are treated as sub-humans and the list is endless. Yet, some of these people will be acolytes in the Sylvester Oromoni justice procession. Some of them will take front row in the discourse. Who is fooling who? 

We are a nation of bullies. Everyday, in our streets we see people trying so vehemently to take advantage of others. The places of worship and business enterprises are not spared. When stories such as that of Sylvester manifests, many try to pretend that there are no parallels with their bullying lifestyles in their own little world. We fane empathy, we dawn the toga of concern, we tweet and post heartbroken emojis, we write epistles on Facebook. It is a just thing to speak up in the face of injustice but the table of justice is one that we must come to with clean hands. We all failed Sylvester by contributing to a culture that breeds and embolden bullies. While we seek Justice for Sylvester, we should be circumspect and look inwards. Are we not really guilty of bullying in some aspects of our individual lives and interactions?