10 Books I’m Glad I Read Before 30

So I found this top 10 book recommendations to read before 30. Coincidentally, I have read all of these books, and wow, they make for a fantastic read any day!

1. The Road Less Traveled by M. Scott Peck – Pretty much the granddaddy of all self-improvement books, it’s easily one of the best nonfiction works I’ve ever read. By melding love, science and spirituality into a primer for personal growth, Peck guides the reader through lessons on delaying gratification, accepting responsibility for decisions, dedicating oneself to truth and reality, and creating a balanced lifestyle.

2. Getting Things Done by David Allen – The ultimate ‘organize your life’ book. Allen’s ideas and processes are for all those people who are overwhelmed with too many things to do, too little time to do them, and a general sense of unease that something important is being missed. The primary goal of this book is to teach you how to effectively get your ‘to-do inbox’ to empty.

3. The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey – Covey presents a principle-centered approach for solving personal and professional problems by delivering a step-by-step guide for living with integrity and honesty and adapting to the inevitable change life brings us everyday. It’s a must-read.

4. The Magic of Thinking Big by David Schwartz – Schwartz gives the reader useful, proactive steps for achieving success. He presents a clear-cut program for getting the most out of your job, marriage, family life and other relationships. In doing so, he proves that you don’t need to be an intellectual or have innate talent to attain great success and satisfaction in life.

5. How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie – Easily one of the best and most popular books on people-skills ever written. Carnegie uses his adept storytelling skills to illustrate how to be successful by making the most of human relations.
Siddhartha by Hermann Hesse – A short, powerful novel about the importance of life experiences as they relate to approaching an understanding of self, happiness and attaining enlightenment.

6. The Richest Man in Babylon by George S. Clason – The best book on money management ever written. Although only 145 pages, this book is packed to the brim with powerful, life changing information. I’ve read it three times and I still pull new pearls of wisdom out of it. Babylon should be mandatory reading beginning at the grade school level, then again in college, and should be given as a gift right along with a college diploma.

7. The Paradox of Choice: Why More Is Less by Barry Schwartz – Faced with too many options or decisions in your life? We feel worse when we have too many options. This book will make you feel better and change the way you look at them. Schwartz discusses people making difficult decisions about jobs, families, where to live, whether to have children, how to spend recreational time, choosing colleges, etc. He talks about why making these decisions today is much harder than it was thirty years ago, and he offers many practical suggestions for how to address decision-making so that it creates less stress and more happiness.

8. The Art of War by Sun Tzu – One of the oldest books on military strategy in the world. It’s easily the most successful written work on the mechanics of general strategy and business tactics.

9. Switch: How to Change Things When Change Is Hard by Chip and Dan Heath – An easy to read psychology book about real ways to make change last – both personal and organizational. So many powerful insights, based on fact not theory. Inspiring counterintuitive stories of huge organizational change against all odds. Highly recommended for people in all walks of life.

10. Rich Dad, Poor Dad by Robert Kiyosaki – It is unfortunate that in America, arguably the greatest nation in the free world, few people including those with high incomes understand the value of investing and the proper use of money strategies. You can live off your income, but you can’t get wealthy off your income. True wealth is the result of using principles described in this book. This is a classic, must read for everyone.

(MARCANDANGEL).

3 Organizations That Have Aided My Personal Growth

Today, I will like to share with you three pivotal organizations that have oiled the wheel of my personal development over the past few years. These organizations are entirely not exclusive to a select few and have nothing to do with your job. I like to think of them as credible ‘pass time.’ To avoid all doubt, the list is by no means exhaustive. However, the goal is that this will make someone want to be a part of any of these three. Let’s go!

1. Toastmasters
Arguably the best association I have been a part of over the past few years. Toastmasters International is a place that provides a mutually supportive and positive learning environment in which every member has the opportunity to develop oral communication and leadership skills, which in turn foster self-confidence and personal growth. With its headquarters in the United States, there are about 16,000 clubs in over 140 countries of the world. I have learnt that by just having the gift of speaking, and exuding confidence while at it, will open tremendous doors. The beautiful thing about Toastmasters is that it will teach you how to make impromptu speeches, how to harness your thoughts and imagination in words, how to prepare manual speeches that is sublime and perhaps most importantly, it provides you feedback (which is a gift). The club also helps in developing your leadership skills. Each meeting is structured, the environment is devoid of criticism and I often wonder where I’d rather be on a Friday evening (And yes, I still have my Friday nights gig afterwards; should I crave ). So it’s simple, get online on the Toastmasters website and find the Toastmasters club nearest to you and be a part of it today!

2. The Book Club
It was Ralph Waldo Emerson who once said that ‘If we encounter a man of rare intellect, we should ask him what books he reads.’ So marvel no further when you see the likes of Chimamanda Adiche, Barack Obama, Pat Utomi among others. The caveat on this one is that I am a hopeless reader. It is a vital part of my life. From fiction, to self-help books, to autobiographies, to editorials, to motivationals, few things are more soothing. Belonging to a book club is the fastest and easiest way to sharpen your reading instincts. For me, it was until I joined a book club that I fully understood the latent power of books; particularly, African Writers Series. See, books are powerful and this is not just a cliché. Few things can illuminate your mind the way reading a book can. And when anyone ask me about the number one secret to being a good writer, I am quick to say ‘Being a hopeless reader.’ The reality is that anyone who says that we have only one life to live has not read a book before; for with books you have many lives, you go to many places and the narrative of your journey is richer and fuller. In a book club you find like minds, fellow addicts of books, lovers of words, masters of the pen. Again, it’s simple. Just go online and ask around for any good book club around you.

3. Motivators International
Now this one is close to my heart, primarily because there was a co-creation involvement in this one right from my University days. This organization was a brainchild of Chijindu Umunnakwe (friend & brother). To be honest, this club means many things to many people. However, the overriding goal is to create platforms for young people to harness their potentials in order to be the best they can be. The organization is focused on leadership and entrepreneurship development and is committed to maximizing the potential of young people, tackling poverty and unemployment through innovative development solutions. My philosophy of a potent organization is in the people and Motivators is replenished with a plethora of amazing young minds striving to make their world better than they met it. You can find out more and be a part of the group when you search online.

I hope this has helped. Have a smashing week friends!

5 Lies We Learned When We Were Younger (That We Still Live By Today)

1. Starting over isn’t a good choice, and should only be a last resort.

The idea of starting over being a bad thing is baked right into the fabric of our society’s education system. We send our children to a university when they’re 17 or 18, and basically tell them to choose a career path they’ll be happy with for the next 40 years. “But, what if I choose wrong?” I remember thinking to myself. And that’s exactly what I did, in more ways than one.

Over the years, however, through bouts of failure and hardship, I’ve learned the truth through experience: you can change paths anytime you want to. Yes, starting over is almost always feasible, and it’s oftentimes a pretty darn good choice too. Of course, it won’t be easy, but neither is being stuck with a lifelong career you naively chose when you were a teenager. And neither is holding on to something that’s not meant to be, or something that’s already gone.

The truth is, no one wins a game of chess by only moving forward; sometimes you have to move backward to put yourself in a position to win. And this is a perfect metaphor for life. Sometimes when it feels like you’re running into one dead end after another, it’s actually a sign that you’re not on the right path. Maybe you were meant to hang a left back when you took a right, and that’s perfectly fine. Life gradually teaches us that U-turns are allowed. So turn around when you must! There’s a big difference between giving up and starting over in the right direction. And there are three little words that can release you from your past mistakes and regrets, and get you back on track. These words are: “From now on…”

So… from now on, what should you do?

Anything. Something small. As long as you don’t just sit in your seat, strapped down to a destiny that isn’t yours. If you mess it up, start over. Try something else.

Let go and grow!

No doubt, one of the absolute hardest lessons in life is letting go – whether it’s guilt, anger, love or loss. Change is never easy – you fight to hold on and you fight to let go. But letting go is generally the healthiest path forward. It clears out toxic thoughts and choices from the past and paves the way to make the most positive use of the present. You’ve got to emotionally free yourself from some of the things that once meant a lot to you, so you can move beyond the past and the pain it brings you. Again, it takes hard work to let go and refocus yourself, but it’s worth every bit of effort you can muster!

And oftentimes letting go is strictly about changing the labels you place on a situation – it’s looking at the same situation with fresh eyes and an open mind, and then making the best of it.

The underlying key is to treat life like the journey that it is.

The destination you have in mind today is likely not the same place you’ll someday be grateful you’ve landed. So while it’s healthy to plan for the future, it’s not healthy to do so at the full expense of today. The truth is, no matter how smart you are or how hard you try, you can’t accurately figure out the future. Even people who have a systematic plan (steps to be a doctor, steps to be a successful entrepreneur, etc.) don’t actually know what will happen down the road. And if they have any certainty at all, they’re a bit naive.

Life rarely goes as planned. For every person that succeeds in doing exactly what they set out to do in the exact time frame they set out to do it in, there are dozens of others who start strong and get derailed. And if this happens to you, it isn’t a bad thing. New obstacles and opportunities may come along to shift your perspective, to strengthen your resolve, or to change your direction for the better. Again, the destination you fall in love with someday may not even exist today. For example, just a few short years ago the esteemed career paths of working at Facebook, SnapChat, and Twitter didn’t exist. Neither did the job of professional coach and blogger at Marc and Angel Hack Life.

So… if you can’t plan out your future in its entirety, what should you do?

Focus a little less on the future and focus a little more on what you can do now that will benefit you no matter what the future brings. Read. Write. Learn and practice useful skills. Test your skills and ideas. Build things. Be adventurous and seek real-world experiences. Cultivate healthy relationships. These efforts will help in any future opportunities that come your way, and they may even create them for you.

Bottom line: When life does not go as planned, breathe and remember that life’s richness often comes from its unpredictability. Remind yourself that you are on a journey that’s ongoing, and that nothing is ever guaranteed. Sometimes this is hard to accept. Sometimes you have to force yourself to step forward. Sometimes you just have to accept the fact that things will never go back to how they used to be, and that this ending is really a new beginning.

2. Discomfort is undesirable.

Discomfort is a form of pain, but it isn’t a deep pain – it’s a shallow one. It’s the feeling you get when you’ve stepped outside your comfort zone. The idea of exercising in many people’s minds, for example, brings discomfort – so they don’t do it. Eating a spinach and kale salad brings discomfort too. So does meditating, or focusing on a difficult task, or saying no to others. Of course, these are just examples, because different people find discomfort in different things, but you get the general idea.

The key thing to understand is that most forms of discomfort actually help us grow into our strongest and smartest selves. However, many of us were raised by loving parents who did so much to make our childhoods comfortable, that we inadvertently grew up to subconsciously believe that we don’t need discomfort in our lives. And now we run from it constantly. The problem with this is that, by running from discomfort, we are constrained to partake in only the activities and opportunities within our comfort zones. And since our comfort zones are relativity small, we miss out on most of life’s greatest and healthiest experiences, and we get stuck in a debilitating cycle.

Let’s use diet and exercise as an example…

First, we become unhealthy because eating healthy food and exercising feels uncomfortable, so we opt for comfort food and mindless TV watching instead.
But then, being unhealthy is also uncomfortable, so we seek to distract ourselves from the reality of our unhealthy bodies by eating more unhealthy food and watching more unhealthy entertainment and going to the mall to shop for things we don’t really want or need. And our discomfort just gets worse.
Amazingly, the simple act of accepting a little discomfort every day, and taking it one small step at a time, can solve most of our common problems, and make our minds happier, healthier and stronger in the long run.

Truth be told, there is no person in the world capable of flawlessly handling every punch thrown at them. That’s not how we’re made. We’re made to get upset, sad, hurt, stumble and fall sometimes. Because that’s part of living – to face discomfort, learn from it, and adapt over the course of time. This is what ultimately molds us into the person we become.

When you find yourself cocooned in isolation and cannot find your way out of the darkness, remember that this is similar to the place where caterpillars go to grow their wings. Just because today is uncomfortable and stressful, doesn’t mean tomorrow won’t be wonderful. You just got to get there.

3. Grief is a burden that gradually devastates us over time.

You may have heard that it isn’t healthy to grieve for too long. I say this because it’s something I was taught when I was a teenager. A close friend died in a car accident. At first everyone accepted my tears, but as the weeks rolled into months, I was frequently told that it was time to let go. “The tears aren’t helping at this point,” I remember someone telling me. But that was hogwash. My tears were necessary. They were slowly watering seeds of my recovery. And I recovered as a much stronger, kinder, and wiser soul than I ever was before.

Then, a decade later, this lesson was reinforced in my life two more times, back-to-back, when Angel and I lost her older brother, Todd, to suicide and our mutual best friend, Josh, to an Asthma attack, a month apart.

Through the grief of losing people I love, I have been given the gift of awareness… awareness that every one of us will lose someone or something we love, and that this reality is a necessary one.

It’s incredibly tough to comprehend at times, but there’s a reason for everything. We must know the pain of loss, because if we never knew it, we would have little compassion for others and we would gradually become hollow monsters of egoism – creatures of sheer self-interest, never being happy with what we have. The awful pain of loss teaches humility to our prideful kind, has the power to warm-up a cold heart, and make an even better person out of a good one.

So yes, grief can be a burden that devastates us in the near-term, but it can also be a healthy anchor for healing and living well in the long run.

As human beings, we often get used to the weight of grief and how it holds us in place. For instance, Angel once told me, “My brother will die over and over again for the rest of my life, and I’m OK with that – it keeps me closer to him.” This was Angel’s way of reminding me that grief doesn’t disappear. Step-by-step, breath-by-breath, it becomes a part of us. And it can become a healthy part of us too.

Although we may never completely stop grieving, simply because we never stop loving the ones we’ve lost, we can effectively leverage our love for them in the present. We can love them and emulate them by living with their magnificence as our daily inspiration. By doing this, they live on in the warmth of our broken hearts that don’t fully heal back up, and we will continue to grow and experience life, even with our wounds. It’s like badly breaking an ankle that never heals perfectly, and that still hurts when you dance, but you dance anyway with a slight limp, and this limp just adds to the depth of your performance and the authenticity of your character. (Angel and I discuss this in more detail in the “Adversity” chapter of 1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently.)

4. Everything we experience firsthand in life is reality.

At a young age we are often taught to question the stories and rumors we hear from other people, but to fully accept what we see, hear, feel and experience firsthand. In other words, if we see it with our own eyes, hear it with our own ears, or feel it with our own two hands, then what we’ve just seen, heard, and felt is most certainly the whole truth. And while that may seem like a logical assumption, it’s not always an accurate one.

As human beings, our inner dialog, or mindset, has a drastic effect on how we interpret real-world life experiences. The stories we subconsciously tell ourselves don’t just change how we feel inside – they actually change what we see, what we hear, what we experience, and what we know to be true in the world around us. This is one of the primary reasons multiple people can go through the same exact experience, but interpret it differently. Each of us may enter a shared experience with a different story echoing through our mind, and our unique story – our inner dialog – alters the way we feel every step of the way, and so each of us exits this shared experience with a slightly different feeling about what just happened. And sometimes that slight difference makes all the difference in the world.

Perspective is everything!

In a way, the stories we tell ourselves narrow our perspective. When we enter an experience with a story about how life is, that tends to be all we see. This phenomenon reminds me of an old parable in which a group of blind men touch an elephant for the very first time to learn what it’s like. Each one of them feels a different part of the elephant, but only that one part, such as the leg, trunk, side, or tusk. Then the men eagerly compare notes and quickly learn that they are in complete disagreement about what an elephant looks like.

Something similar happens through our wide-ranging, different past experiences. Some of us have been deeply heartbroken. Some of us have lost our parents, siblings or children to accidents and illnesses. Some of us have dealt with infidelity. Some of us have been fired from jobs we relied on. Some of us have been discriminated against because of our gender or race. And when we enter a new experience that arouses prominent memories of our own painful story from the past, it shifts our perspective in the present – it narrows it.

When a negative past experience narrows our present perspective, it’s mostly just a defense mechanism. Every day of our lives we are presented with some level of uncertainty, and our innate human defense mechanisms don’t like this one bit. So our minds try to compensate by filling in the gaps of information by clinging to the stories we already feel comfortable with. We end up subconsciously trying to make better sense of everything in the present by using old stories and past experiences as filler. And while this approach works sometimes, other times our old stories and past experiences are completely irrelevant to the present moment, so they end up hurting us far more than they help.

Let this be your wake-up call!

Next time you catch yourself emotionally struggling with the ‘reality’ of a particular life experience, ask yourself:

What is the story I’m telling myself about this experience?
Can I be absolutely certain this story is true?
How do I feel and behave when I tell myself this story?
What’s one other possibility that might also make the ending to this story true?
Give yourself the space to think it all through, carefully. Mull it over, mindfully. And keep in mind that it’s not about proving yourself right or wrong.

It’s about taking a deep breath, and giving yourself the space to gain perspective.

5. Bad habits are really hard to break.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard people repeat the age-old cliché, “Bad habits are really hard to break.”

But this just isn’t true, because “hard” is a matter of perspective.

What is true is that you ultimately become what you repeatedly do. If your habits aren’t moving you forward, they’re holding you back. And if they’re holding you back, it’s time for a change.

For most of us (who are not coping with clinical depression, for example), changing our habits is a straightforward process. People who say otherwise are often just making excuses. They always want tasks to be 100% easier, regardless of how easy they already are. And it’s always easier to do nothing, rather than something. It’s always easier to complain, rather than commit. It hurts to admit this sometimes, but it’s worth doing. It’s worth reminding yourself that changing a habit is just a matter of recognizing why you’re doing what you’re doing, and then replacing one small action with another.

But, why are you doing what you’re doing?

What motivates you to start a bad habit in the first place?
How is it that your best intentions for having good, healthy habits have somehow been beaten?
The collective answer to these questions is simple:

Like many human beings, you don’t yet know how to cope with stress and boredom in a healthy, effective way.

Yes, most of your bad habits formed subconsciously as a coping method for dealing with stress and boredom – you resist reality instead of working through it. And these habits didn’t build up in an instant, so they won’t go away instantly either. You built them up through repetition, and the only way to change them is also through repetition – by making small, simple, gradual shifts.

(MARCANDANGEL).

10 Beliefs You Will Gradually Let Go of Over the Next 20 Years

The belief that waiting until tomorrow makes sense – We know deep down that life is short, and that death will come to all of us eventually, and yet we are infinitely surprised when it comes to someone we know. It’s like walking up a flight of stairs with a distracted mind, and misjudging the final step. You expected there to be one more stair than there is, so you find yourself off balance, before your mind shifts back to the present moment and how the world really is. Truth be told, someday there REALLY won’t be a tomorrow! And this harsh reality needs to be respected.

The belief that you must find your motivation somewhere outside yourself – The most common problem with motivation, often not understood until later in life, is that when we say we’re looking for motivation, it implies that our motivation is somehow hiding behind a tree or under a rock somewhere. But that’s far from the truth. The truth is, our motivation comes from doing the right things. When our efforts have meaning behind them it motivates us to take the next step. For me – and we’re all different – I am motivated primarily by two core ambitions: first, knowing more today than I knew yesterday, especially as doing so relates to meaningful projects and desires, and second, easing the pain of others. Living by these two core ambitions on a daily basis, and regularly reflecting on the progress I’m making, invigorates me, personally and professionally. So think about it: Underneath all the things you say you have to do, at the end of each day, what is the significance and value you hope to create?

The belief that everyone else knows what’s best for you – Give yourself the space to listen to your own voice—your own soul. Too many people listen to the noise of the world and get lost in the crowd. But YOU can choose differently! Don’t watch too much TV, don’t read every fashion blog, and don’t consume too much mass media news. Find the strength to fill your time with meaningful experiences. The space and time you are occupying at this very moment is LIFE, and if you’re worrying about the Kardashians or Lebron James or some other famous face, then you are disempowered. You’re giving your life away to marketing and media hocus-pocus, which is created by big companies to ultimately motivate you to want to look a certain way and be a certain way. This is absolutely tragic, this kind of thinking! It’s all just a distraction from what is real and good. What is real and good is YOU and your friends and your family, your loves, your highs, your hopes, and your dreams. You know this already! Listen to what your heart is telling you! Eventually, one way or another, you WILL. Because there will inevitably come a day when you’ll finally be wise enough and strong enough to do so.

The belief that all the instant notifications and distractions are worth it – Distractions are in the palms of our hands these days, but we need to remember to look up more often. We need to learn to be more human again. Don’t avoid eye contact. Don’t hide behind gadgets. Smile often. Ask about people’s stories. Listen. You can’t connect with anyone, including yourself, unless you are undistracted and present. And you can’t be either of the two when you’re Facebooking, Instagramming or Snapchatting your life away on your smartphone. You just can’t! If you are constantly attached to your smartphone and only listening with your ears as your eyes check for the next social update, you are ripping yourself off of actually experiencing real relationships and real life. The same is true for texting too. Yes, someday you will be slapped with the reality of a missed MEMORY being far more unsettling than a missed TEXT!

The belief that being busy is beneficial – “Am I making meaningful use of this scarce and precious day?” It’s a simple question Angel and I challenge our course students to ask themselves anytime they feel busyness overwhelming them. And it’s a question that seems to gain relevance as we gain life experience. Time gradually shows us how fleeting our lives really are. Filling every day with busyness makes no sense, and yet it’s tempting to do just that. Resist the temptation! Leave space! Your ultimate goal is living a life uncluttered by most of the distractions people fill their lives with, leaving you with space for what truly matters. A life that isn’t constant busyness, rushing, and resistance, but instead mindful contemplation, creation and connection with people and projects you truly love.

The belief that knowledge alone is enough – Learning by itself is great in the near-term, but it doesn’t cut it in the long run if you plan on making positive changes in your life. It’s one thing to know all twelve steps necessary to recover from alcoholism, for example, but it’s another thing entirely to dedicate yourself to actually carrying out each one of those steps. The acquisition of knowledge doesn’t mean you’re growing – growing happens when what you know changes how you live. At some point we all learn this lesson, often the hard way, by realizing that we haven’t made any real progress. But then we take action, because that’s how real progress happens… and everything changes, for the better.

The belief that faster is better – In our youth it seems like faster is better, but in time we gradually witness the power of ‘slow and steady’ at work. We come to learn that no act of love, kindness or diligence, no matter how small, is ever wasted. The fact that you can plant a seed and it becomes a tree, share a bit of knowledge and it becomes another’s, smile at someone and receive a smile in return, is proof that YOU can make a big difference in life and business, even if it can’t be done all at once. So don’t break your back today. Remind yourself that you can’t lift 1,000 pounds all at once. Yet you can easily lift one pound 1,000 times, especially when you spread the lifting over a series of days. Tiny, repeated, daily efforts will get you there.

The belief that comfort is the end goal – A very popular and harmful addiction in this world is the draw of comfort. Don’t be someone who never asks, “how?” or never pulls back further to ask, “why?” Too many young people don’t ask these questions because they know the answers would require substantial disruption to their comfort zone, and they don’t want to endure it. But that’s how the human mind grows, and eventually we all learn this, one way or another. When our minds are stretched with new questions and resulting experiences, they never shrink back to their previous dimensions – we are forever more competent and capable. Truth be told, emotional discomfort in life, when accepted, rises, crests and crashes in a series of waves. Each wave washes an old layer of us away and deposits treasures we never expected to find. Out goes inexperience, in comes awareness; out goes frustration, in comes resilience; out goes hatred, in comes kindness. And so on and so forth…

The belief that you are at the center of the universe – When we’re young, we all have the tendency to place ourselves at the center of everything, and see every outcome from the viewpoint of how it affects us personally. But as we grow up and broaden our horizons, we begin to see that our self-centered thinking has lots of baggage that comes along with it – from feeling sorry for ourselves when things aren’t going exactly as expected, to doubting ourselves when we fail to be perfect. And we realize that shifting our focus onto others for a while can help. It’s one of life’s great paradoxes: when we serve others we end up benefiting as much if not more than those we serve. So whenever you feel stuck, try to shift your focus from your circumstances to the circumstances of those around you. Instead of asking, “What’s wrong with me?” ask, “How can I help you?” Find someone who could use an extra hand and make a small, reasonable offer they can’t refuse. The perspective you gain will guide you forward.

The belief that everyone is capable of being kind and loving – Not everyone will appreciate what you do for them, and not everyone will do for you as you do for them, because not everyone has the same heart as you. That’s reality. And you’ll eventually realize that you’ll be endlessly disappointed if you expect things to be different. So be kind and loving to people because you want to be, and don’t let your expectations get the best of you. With that said, however, you do ultimately have to figure out who’s worth your long-term attention and who’s just taking advantage of you. If your time and energy is misspent on the wrong people for the wrong reasons, you can end up in a tedious cycle of fleeting friendships, superficial romances that are as thrilling as they are meaningless, and a general sense of wondering why you always seem to be running in place chasing validation and affection.

MARCANDANGEL.

Always Send Back The Elevator!

It is a cliché but one laced with truth – No man ever achieves success all by himself – At some point in our lives, we have all seen farther because we stood on the shoulders of others, seen clearer because others provided fresh eyes for us, and walked faster because we ran with more accomplished runners. Indeed, it is true that success doesn't come easy, but no one manages to make their dreams work without a combination of hard work and others opening and holding the door for them from time to time.

Sadly though, some press the ‘close door’ button on the elevator permanently as soon as they get to the peak of the building. They keep the elevator on their floor and never send it back. As you reach your goals and benefit from the opportunities others afforded you, don't forget to pass the good sentiment along and help those coming up behind you. The stories of a vast majority of Fortune 500 CEOs are underpinned by one constant – ‘someone took a chance on me’. In your journey of life, people will cut you some slack, believe in your dreams, give you a job even when you are not the most qualified and take a chance on you. Every one of us has a burden of responsibility to pass this on to others. It's only right for us to extend a helping hand back to the people who need it the most, especially when we're in a position to do so. Yet, while sending the elevator back is one thing, someone must be available at the right floor to get in once it arrives. Too many people complain with asperity about others not lending them a helping hand but the reality is that history is replenish with cases of misused opportunities. As they say, timing is everything.

However, even if no one sends you the elevator always remember that there is a twist in this metaphor. The actual point is good, but the subject takes a slant and pales in thorough logic. The elevator sends itself back down when its needed, so in the best case you're just making something that was already going to happen slightly faster and in the worst case you're making it slower for someone who wasn't where you expected them to be. The point here is that people will not always be gracious to send back the elevator, but ‘time and chance’ has a way of sending it back to us. The big question is are we always there to get in? Do we hear the beep when it arrives?

In the final analysis, no one gets to where they are on their own. We all owe our success, in part, to someone who gave us our first opportunity, believed in us enough to put us in a role that was a stretch, or pushed us to speak up when we would have preferred to stay comfortably quiet. What’s the best way to thank those advocates? By following their lead, paying it forward, and lifting others up as we climb. As Kevin Spacey once said “If you’re lucky enough to do well, it’s your responsibility to send the elevator back down.”

An Open Letter to Those Who Always Put Themselves Last

Once upon a time, many moons ago, there was a village of people who lived in handcrafted wood houses. And like other villages in this era, fires were a very real and present danger at all times. One small flame could burn the whole village into ashes within a few short hours. So the villagers developed a clever fire fighting system. A rotating group of volunteers kept watch over the village from a lookout tower at all times, day and night. At the first sight of smoke, a volunteer would turn on a loud siren that was only ever sounded when warning the villagers about a fire.

The moment the siren sounded, all villagers would drop everything and run to a pre-assigned location for firefighting. Young, strong men and women would pump water as fast as possible from the village wells, teenage boys and girls would fill big buckets with water as it was pumped up from the well, and all the rest of the villagers would occupy designated locations and ultimately form human chains leading from the wells to the fire. The bravest men and women would stand next to the fire and heave buckets of water until the fire was extinguished.

One day a traveler from a distant village heard the siren and asked someone on the street about it. The woman – who was rushing toward her designated location – quickly explained, “Whenever there’s a fire, the siren is sounded and the fire is extinguished!” The traveler was amazed, and decided to bring this remarkable siren technology back to his own village, which also had dreadful problems with fires. Days later, he returned to his village with a siren that perfectly matched the one he witness in action on the lookout tower. He gathered all his villagers together, and he said, “You don’t need to fear fire anymore, my friends. I have found a new way to extinguish it. Watch closely, and I shall demonstrate.”

The traveler lit a large bale of hay on fire that was sitting next to his own cottage. The flames quickly began to spread closer and closer to his home. Then he took out the siren he’d acquired and sounded it. The fire only grew in its intensity, so he sounded it again. The fire continued to grow rapidly.

“Just be patient, everyone! It should happen any moment now…” In a panic he sounded the siren again and again, but still the fire grew and blazed with even more intensity. Within hours the entire village burned down to the ground… because, of course, the traveler had misunderstood the purpose of the siren. It wasn’t used to put out fires. It was simply a signal that directed the villagers to take positive action.

REMEMBER:

There’s a lookout tower in your life too. In that lookout tower, the siren has sounded. If you continue to do nothing when you hear the siren, your life, in many ways, will ultimately burn to the ground (dramatic, and true). For a siren extinguishes no fires on its own. But if you listen to the siren and let it motivate you to take positive action, you can save your own life… and create a sense of purpose, peace and resolve for yourself and those who depend on you.

The steps you need to take next won’t be easy, but they will be worthy. You will be one of the strong ones who know what it takes to fight and extinguish even the hottest fires that burn from within.Truth be told, sometimes we have to learn (or re-learn) to be our own best friends, because we fall too easily into the trap of being our own worst enemies. We love the idea of being loved and listened to by others, but we forget to love and listen to ourselves.

It’s time to stop putting yourself last. Make yourself a priority today. Challenge yourself to listen to what your heart and mind is telling you. Resisting and ignoring your own feelings and emotions does not serve you. It leads to stress, illness, confusion, broken relationships, fits of anger and bouts of deep, dark depression. Anyone who’s experienced any of the above knows that these states of mind are horrifically unhealthy… and when you’re in the habit of self-neglect, it’s nearly impossible to escape.

Refuse to ignore your inner siren any longer. Refuse to neglect yourself. Choose to take up lot of space in your own life. Choose to give yourself permission to meet your own needs. Choose to honor your feelings and emotions. Choose to make self-care a top priority…

Choose yourself!

(MARCANDANGEL).

Romance and Business: The Case for Football

First it was the Russian billionaire, Roman Abramovich, taking off the financial limits on football in the Premier league. For all the blatant cynicism that greeted it, his model has proven to be successful. 15 trophies in 13 years can only mean one thing in football: Success. But there is a dark side of this unprecedented wealth. Managerial attrition at Stamford Bridge is simply ludicrous. That it has been a tale of 12 managers in 15 years is less of the issue. What perpetually boggles the mind is that the club’s revolving door on managers haven’t necessarily led to failure. The facts will suffice here. Chelsea have won 15 trophies since the reign of the Russian billionaire; more than any other premier league club in the same period. But the Chelsea model has opened the floodgate to the Sheikh Mansours of this world to acquire City and the Thai billionaires to take over Leicester City. With the infusion of capitalist funds came capitalist tendency. Part of the romance football had, died. It was 'Owners power' that prevailed and in this new world there is little room for sentiments. Football managers more than ever before now live and die by results. Past achievement are relegated to the dustbin. The mind is senile to remember previous glory and all we do is live in the moment.

The world was unanimous in its outcry against the sacking of Italian tinkerman, Claudio Ranieri, by Leicester City owners. How could they even dare? This was a man that wrote what is arguably the greatest ever football narrative ever told when he led lowly Leicester to the trophy last season. They didn't just win the league, they did it at a canter. If 10 points gap at the end of the season was not a procession to the trophy I don't know what is. Yet, barely nine months after this fairy tale, Claudio was axed. His sin? Leicester were languishing in 17th place, 1 points beyond the relegation zone. You'd think he has earned the right to have a season in hell after last season's achievement, but such is life in modern football. Club owners are trigger hungry. They know when all is said and done, this sport is business, and business is about winning...And winning I should add is relative.

What does this all mean for the football lovers who see their club being run like a ruthless fortune 500 company? They learn to live with it. One reason for this is that football fans move on too quickly. For all the love fans have towards a manager or player, they are not so deluded not to know that it is just mere passion for them (at least for the most part). Hence, they always move on. Increasingly too, the place of ‘fans power’ is diminishing while the role of ‘player power’ is on the rise. For all the rantings that happens on Arsenal Fans TV daily on how Arsene Wenger is everything detrimental about Arsenal, he has remained the manager; even with a 13 years spell without the trophy.

Make no mistakes about it, we still love and will always love the game. It is the idiosyncrasies and unpredictability, it's ruthlessness and allure, its lows and highs, that still make us love the game. However, it is just that these days it is less romance and more of a demand to win. Our following is increasingly premised by success...And this success is majorly for bragging rights and business reasons (betting etc). We still genuinely love football but for slightly different reasons these days. The romance is not entirely divorced but fans like the lover who goes into a relationship with his head are now a bit more careful.

In football as in life, the show must go on. For a moment after Brexit, it appeared like the moon was going to drop off the sky. For a split time after Trump won, it looked like the apocalypse will come. For a span of time after Ranieri was sacked, it appeared like football will never remain the same again. But alas, none of those doom tales happened. The sun rose the next day. The pound steadied itself, America accepted the reality of president Trump at the oval office and the Foxes fans turned up en masse at the King Power cheering their team on to a resounding victory against Liverpool barely 4 days after their most successful manager was axed. One thing is clear: The show must always go on.