The World is a Beautiful Place

Most of us don’t even realize how amazing our lives are. People lose the appreciation of their beautiful lives while concentrating on problems and being pessimistic about their current “terrible situation”. We consider thousands of things in our lives for granted, because it’s totally normal for us, like being able to have a shower, or to have food on our tables, day after day. Furthermore, the vast majority of us do not have to worry on whether they are going to have something to eat for the next day, as our main trouble is on what to eat the next day – something that might be a pure luxury for someone living in an area where there are limited resources of food. Have you ever noticed the fact that slum dwellers in Nigeria and even more dire places are often even happier than many in so called civilized nations, even though they lack so many things from food to – pure luxury articles like a TV – that some of us consider to be ordinary? Could it be that these people appreciate their lives a lot more, due to the fact of not being able to know whether they are able to enjoy the next day? Perhaps they don’t even focus on material things or tangibles like money, instead they enjoy the time with their family and esteem social values like deep friendships by far more than some of us do? In sum, they just appreciate that amidst all the troubles, the world is still a beautiful place.

Too often than not, we are obsessed with what we don’t have. We fantasize about where we want to be, who we want to be with and how we would like to see ourselves, all while abandoning the moments, people and places of significance that take place in our lives. There is nothing wrong with wanting change; change is good and necessary, but it doesn’t happen overnight. It is a process, rather, which is accomplished over time with transition. The problem we often face with longing for a life different than the one we have is that we treat where we are and where we want to be like an on-and-off switch. We cut off the “now” and turn on the “will be.” Making goals and planning to change your scenery should be a process where priorities change and focus sharpens, not one where one life comes to a screeching halt for the other. We've all been guilty of taking mental vacations, and we've all jumped into the visual snapshot we've projected for ourselves. But often, when we pack our mental bags we leave behind our dormant body to go through the monotonous routine of life like a corpse. This shouldn't be so. Surrendering the life you're currently living is a dangerous thing. It's a risky business that leaves us tirelessly running a race, chasing satisfaction on a treadmill, always wanting, but never having. When we make up in our minds that the present isn't important, it becomes habitual and routine. The job won't have enough benefits, one degree will suddenly turn into two and the dream house in Banana Island will soon enough become humdrum. The reality is that if we can't find happiness where we are, we won't find it where we want to be. Accomplishments will no longer hold value due to the next goal that’s pending.

Loving the struggle, embracing what it takes, understanding your sacrifices and acknowledging those who helped you along the way are all part of the process that will allow us to be better individuals. When we understand the beauty in today and embrace all it has to offer, we will learn how to appreciate the goodness we receive. The world is a beautiful place.

(Excerpts from my Book ‘The Path Less Travelled’)

7 Smart Yet Simple Ways to Handle Difficult People

1. Practice detaching yourself from other people’s bias opinions. — You may not be able control all the things people say and do, but you can decide not to be reduced by them. The way people treat you is their problem, how you respond internally is yours. What you need to remember is that the things people say and do to you is much more about them, than you. People’s reactions to you are about their perspectives, biases and past experiences. Whether people think you’re amazing, or believe you’re disgusting, again, is more about them and how they view the world. Now, I’m not suggesting we should be self-indulged narcissists and ignore all the opinions and commentary we receive from others. I’m simply saying that incredible amounts of hurt, disappointment and sadness in our lives come directly from our tendency to take things too personally. In most cases it’s far more productive and healthy to let go of other people’s good or bad opinions of you, and to operate with your own intuition and insight as your guide.

2. Wish them well and move forward with your day. — Don’t lower your standards, but do remember that removing your expectations of others is the best way to avoid being disappointed by them. Realize that there’s no reason to expect others to treat you the way you treat them—not everyone has the same heart as you. Meditate on that. Let it sink in. Ultimately, the real test is being kind to unkind people. And yes, you can always stand tall and be sincerely kind to people you strongly disagree with. Remind yourself that you never know what someone has been through in their life, or what they’re going through today. Just do your best to be kind, generous, and respectful, no mater what. Truth be told, all the hardest, coldest people you meet were once as soft as a baby. And that’s the tragedy of living. So when people are rude and difficult, be mindful—be your best. Give those around you the “break” that you hope the world will give you on your own “bad day” and you will never, ever regret it.

3. Model the behavior you want to see. — When someone insists on foisting their hostility and drama on you, be an example of a pure existence. Ignore their outlandish antics and focus on compassion. Communicate and express yourself from a place of peace, from a place of love, with the best intentions. Use your voice for good, to inspire, to encourage, to educate, and to spread the type of behavior you want to see in others. This, of course, is much easier said than done. It takes long-term practice.

4. Take positive control of negative conversations. – It’s okay to change the topic, talk about something positive, or steer conversations away from pity parties, drama, and self-absorbed sagas. Be willing to disagree with difficult people and deal with the consequences. Some people really don’t recognize their own difficult tendencies or their inconsiderate behavior. You can actually tell a person, “I feel like you ignore me until you need something.” You can also be honest if their overly negative attitude is what’s driving you away: “I’m trying to focus on positive things. What’s something good we can talk about?” It may work and it may not, but your honesty will help ensure that any communication that continues forward is built on mutually beneficial ground.

5. Proactively establish healthy and reasonable boundaries. — Practice becoming aware of your feelings and needs. Note the times and circumstances when you’re resentful of fulfilling someone else’s needs. Gradually build boundaries by saying no to gratuitous requests that cause resentfulness in you. Of course, this will be hard at first because it may feel a bit selfish. But if you’ve ever flown on a plane, you know that flight attendants instruct passengers to put on their own oxygen masks before tending to others, even their own children. Why? Because you cannot help others if you’re incapacitated. In the long run, proactively establishing and enforcing healthy and reasonable boundaries with difficult people will be one of the most charitable things you can do for yourself and those you care about. These boundaries will foster and preserve the best of you, so you can share the best of yourself with the people who matter most, not just the difficult ones who try to keep you tied up.

6. Make extra time for yourself. — Difficult people who wallow in their problems and fail to focus on solutions are obviously hard to handle. They want others to join their 24/7 pity party so they can feel better about themselves. And you may feel pressured to listen to their complaints simply because you don’t want to be seen as callous or rude, but there’s a fine line between lending a compassionate ear and getting sucked into their emotional drama. If you are forced to live or work with a difficult person, then make sure you get enough alone time to relax, rest, and recuperate. Having to play the role of a “focused, rational adult” in the face of relentless moodiness can be exhausting, and if you’re not careful, their toxic attitude can infect you. So remember that even people with legitimate problems and clinical illnesses can still comprehend that you have needs as well, which means you can politely excuse yourself when you need to.

7. Let them know that you, respectfully, do not care. — This one is essentially a last resort. If you’ve tried your best to communicate respectfully with a difficult person, or to gracefully distance yourself from them, but they insist on following you around and attacking you for whatever reason, it’s time to speak up and tell them that their words are meaningless. In such situations, I challenge you to make this your lifelong motto: “I respectfully do not care.” Say it to anyone who relentlessly passes public judgment on something you strongly believe in or something that makes you who you are. And remind yourself that you did nothing wrong. Some people will inevitable judge you no matter what you do, and that’s OK. You affected their life; don’t let them affect yours.

(MARCANDANGEL).

You Think Anybody Really Cares About You?

The movie, ‘Rocky’ is renowned for many things, but none of these things compares to the life lessons that this movie is laced with. This is one of such lessons from the movie: ‘Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain’t all sunshine and rainbows. It’s a very mean and nasty place and I don’t care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain’t about how hard you hit. It’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That’s how winning is done! Now if you know what you’re worth then go out and get what you’re worth. But you gotta be willing to take the hits, and not pointing fingers saying you ain’t where you wanna be because of him, or her, or anybody! Cowards do that and that ain’t you! You’re better than that’

The sad thing is that some people are so fixated about how they show up, how they are being perceived, what the view about them is. What such people fail to understand is that there is enough going on in every individual’s life to keep them preoccupied. The reality is that everyone in life, small or big is pursuing something. Everyone has goals they want to achieve, and as one of my friends will say, everyone needs a sponsor in one way or the other. In many ways, it is a dog eat dog situation.

One of the quick things I realized early in life is that in the final analysis, no one really has your best interest at heart as much as you do. And this is not a bad thing, it is just the way the world is. Your demon is your demon and there are places of trials in your life where everyone else is bared from the court room. There are places of personal pressures in your life where your wife, husband, children, siblings, father, mother and best friends can’t get into. It is not that they don’t love you enough to go through this with you, but the truth is that there are some burdens you bear on your own. The sooner you stop bitching about who wasn’t there for you when you needed them, and instead, take your life by the scruff of the neck, the better for you.

Dust yourself each time and face what you must. Get a few friends who will always be there. Find the positives for there are still some good in this world. Stay close to family and trudge on with your life. Don’t delude yourself that everyone is after you; you are not that important. You are not the center of everyone’s attention, and some of the greatest battles you will fight in life, you must do it alone.

4 Little Things that Will Matter a Lot More to You in 40 Years

1. Treating your very limited time each day with care.

As time passes, you naturally have more of it behind you and less of it in front of you. The distant future, then, gradually has less value to you personally. But that doesn’t really matter, because the good life always begins right now, when you stop waiting for a better one. Some people wait all day for 5pm, all week for Friday, all year for the holidays, all their lives for happiness. But you don’t have to be one of them. Don’t wait until your life is almost over to realize how good it has been. A life uncluttered by most of the meaningless drama, distraction, and busyness people fill their lives with, leaving us with space for what’s truly meaningful. A life that isn’t constant rushing, worrying and stress, but instead contemplation, creation, and connection with the people and projects that matter most to us.

By redefining our priorities, and building healthy rituals to back them up, we’ve literally been able to change our lives. And this is now a healthy practice we coach our course students though every single day as well. If you’ve been feeling overwhelmed and stressed out a lot lately, I highly recommend you rethink how you’re spending your time, and replace the meaningless with the meaningful. Start by being honest about the drama, distraction, and busyness in your life.

Identify what’s most important to you, and eliminate as much as you possibly can of everything else. In other words, be ruthless about putting first things first. Say “no” to unnecessary commitments that do not support your priorities. When you start an important activity, turn to it with your full attention and set a conscious intention to be fully present with the act—to do nothing but this one activity for a set time. You might think, “Just write” or “Just run” or “Just be here with this amazing child of mine.” Treat each moment with reverence, as if you are one with what’s happening. The bottom line here is that too often our minds are set on getting somewhere else. Too often another beautiful day comes to an end with hundreds of unnoticed moments behind us—we didn’t notice them because they were insignificant to us. And over time our entire lives become a massive pile of unnoticed and insignificant moments on our way to more important things. Then the important things get rushed through too… to get to the next one, and the next, until our time is up and we’re left questioning where it all went.

2. Genuine relationships.

It’s nice to have acquaintances. It’s important to be friendly. But don’t get carried away and spread yourself too thin. Leave plenty of time for those who matter most to you. Your time is extremely limited, and sooner or later you just want to be around the few people who make you smile for all the right reasons.

Truly, we all long for genuine relationships, but these relationships can be hard to find and nurture, even in our overly connected lives. We meet people in person and socialize online, but these connections often lack a necessary dose of intimacy. We work alongside others in crowded office buildings, but our communication with them is usually work-oriented and not relationship-oriented. We may be lucky enough to have close friends and family in our lives, but when we are distracted by social media and busy with work, those relationships take a major hit. The healthiest and most genuine relationships are comprised of two people who are intimately familiar with each other’s evolving stories. These people make plenty of emotional room for their relationship, which means they sincerely listen to each other, they remember the major events each other have been through, and they keep up-to-date as the facts and feelings of each other’s reality evolves and changes.

The key thing to remember is that nothing you can give is more appreciated than your sincere, focused attention—your full presence. Truly being with someone, and listening without a clock and without anticipation of the next event, is the ultimate compliment. It is indeed the most valued gesture you can make to them, and it arms you with the information you need to truly know them and support them in the long run. It’s also important to note that if two people care about each other and want to maintain a healthy relationship, they absolutely need to be “allowed” to openly communicate ALL of their feelings to each other—their true feelings—not just the agreeable and positive ones. If this is not “allowed” or supported by one or both people involved in the relationship—if one or both people fear punishment for their honesty—lies and deceit will gradually replace love and trust, which ultimately leads to a complete emotional disconnection.

3. Engaging passionately in whatever you choose to do.

Passion is powerful! It rests deep within you and passively drives your feelings, choices, and courses of actions. It can’t be ignored, and it shouldn’t be ignored. Your passion will likely become the sole source of your greatest achievements and your finest moments. The fevering excitement of love. The joy of work that moves you. The clarity of your purpose. The ecstasy of letting go and being one with the present moment. In a nutshell, this is what passion gradually does for you. Without it there is little peace of mind in the end—just a hollow existence of unfulfilled dreams—a lifetime left mostly unlived.

If your life is going to mean anything to you 40 years down the road (or even 10 years down the road), you have to actively and passionately live it every day until then. You have to deeply engage yourself in activities that move you. But the key thing to realize is that almost any activity can move you if you let it. You don’t need some massive, life-engulfing passion to suddenly appear in your life. Because real passion comes from within, and the source of passion in your life may be as simple as having a job to do—a job that feeds your family, for example—and feeling good about doing it right.

Many of us are still hopelessly trying to “find our passion”—something we believe will ultimately lead us closer to happiness, success, or the life situation we ultimately want. And I say “hopelessly” primarily because passion can’t really be found. When we say we’re trying to find our passion, it implies that our passion is somehow hiding behind a tree or under a rock somewhere. But that’s far from the truth. The truth is, our passion comes from doing things right. If you’re waiting to somehow “find your passion” somewhere outside yourself, so you finally have a reason to put your whole heart and soul into your life and the things you’re working on, you’ll likely be waiting around for an eternity.

I’m absolutely certain you have plenty in your life right now that’s worth your time, energy, and passionate focus. You have people and circumstances in your life that need you as much as you need them. You have a massive reservoir of passionate potential within you, just waiting. So stop waiting! There is no next time. Put your heart and soul into what you’ve got right in front of you!

4. A mindset that brings you peace.

Life is a series of continuous changes. Don’t resist them; doing so only creates unnecessary stress. Let the reality of these changes take place. Let them flow. Or as Henry Wadsworth once said, “For after all, the best thing one can do when it is raining is to let it rain.” As we age, we gradually learn the power of this kind of acceptance.

Acceptance is letting go and allowing things to be the way they truly are. It doesn’t mean you don’t care about improving the reality of your life; it’s just realizing that the only thing you really have control over is yourself and your thoughts about everything else. This simple understanding is the foundation of acceptance, and only with acceptance can there be peace of mind and growth. It’s important to realize that, somewhere within us all, there does exist a supreme self who is eternally accepting and at peace. Because inner peace does not depend on external conditions; it’s what remains when you’ve surrendered your ego and worries. Peace can be found within you at any place and at any time. It’s always there, patiently waiting for you to turn your attention toward it. Peace of mind arrives the moment you come to peace with what’s on your mind. It happens when you let go of the need to be anywhere but where you are, physically and emotionally.

You are more than whatever is troubling you. A very real part of you exists beyond your worries, beyond your doubts, independent from the troubles and frustrations of the present moment. Step back and observe yourself as you experience each moment. Be present. Watch yourself as you think, as you take action, as you experience emotions. Your body may experience pain, and yet that pain is not you. Your mind may encounter troubles, and yet you are not those troubles.

Think of the most difficult challenge you face right now. Imagine that it’s not you, but a close friend who is facing this challenge. What advice would you give her? If you could step back and, instead of being the subject, look at your situation as an objective observer, would you look at it any differently? Think of the advice you would give your friend if she were in your shoes. Are you following your own best advice right now? Don’t allow your current troubles to cloud your thinking. Take a few steps back and give yourself the benefit of this distance, and then give yourself some great advice.

(MARCANDANGEL).

Life Lessons From Mayweather’s Victory

1. Risk Must Be Calculated
For the overtly enthusiastic like me that followed most of the buildup leading up to the main event at Las Vegas, one thing was clear; the preparations in both Floyd and Conor’s camps were surreal. From a series of strenuous exercises in a specialized hydrotherapy pool to thorough paces at the gym, Conor McGregor was giving nothing away. However, for Floyd Mayweather and his Money team, they had their jobs well cut out. Mayweather was coming out of retirement at age 40 to risk his 49-match unbeaten record. Signing off to this duel was putting his place at the Hall of Fame at risk. However, it was a calculated one. The decision to pick up his gloves after about two years of inactivity was made easier by the choice of the opponent. McGregor was never a boxer. He is a martial artist at best. And while the outlier nature of the opponent must have been a risk in itself, Mayweather has been long enough in this business to know that it was a risk that was worth it. Aftercall, it will be a jubilee of unbroken successes. In life and in business, while it is great not be too risk averse, wisdom is imperative. Risks must be weighed, measured and calculated.

2. Pace Yourself
For the first three rounds of the match at least, it appeared as though McGregor was tearing apart the pundit books and shattering the earnings of the Casino lords. The Irish man was boxing Mayweather to a corner, with jabs that left the Money man far from comfortable. His tactics was simply to make him cower under the intense start. However, what McGregor didn’t realize is that this was a 12-round marathon. Boxing is not martial art where you can steal the show after 15 to 20 minutes. It was a marathon. McGregor had burn out in the latter stages where he needed his strength. Such is life; it is a marathon. You need to pace yourself. No one finds gold overnight or stumble upon an ‘Eureka’ moment in a flash. Life is a journey and must be lived one day at a time. McGregor was football’s equivalent of a happy kid with a PlayStation joystick. He was far too excited and the occasion got to him. While Mayweather saved his energy for the moments that matter, McGregor had lost his legs and tenacity by round eight. Life is a marathon, pace yourself and allow yourself time to grow into the race.

3. Cut off The Distractions
In-between you and point B, will be the ‘little foxes’ called distractions. The build up to the boxing event was dominated by all the pomp and pageantry there was in this world. Again, this shouldn’t irk anyone, as this was part of the business in staging this match. However, there is a sense that McGregor might have taken the glitz and fluff too far in his own preparations. The UFC Lightweight Champion stole the show in the days before this event. Some of his preparations were simply for the cameras and a handful of his press conferences leading up to Saturday’s fight had been rife with tension, bypassing entertainment for cringe-worthines. He had used racial slants, invited unwarranted guests into his UFC Performance Institute training center. The reality is that in life there will be side attractions to distract you away from the main event. While indulgences are a key part of life, moderation is key. At some point in the bout, McGregor was taunting and hurling words at Mayweather. What he failed to realize is that as soon as the main event kicked in, focus on the goal was everything. Mayweather has seen too much to be swayed by dirty talk. Call it exuberance, and you won’t be wrong. 29-year-old Conor McGregor didn’t know when to cut out the noises and distractions. This is a key life lesson.

4. Family Support System
One of a key member of the Money team was a certain Mr. Floyd Mayweather Senior, Mayweather’s father. Mayweather Snr played an integral role in the development of his son to boxing stardom - teaching him the art of the sport at a very fine age. A preacher of defence - his influence has helped Mayweather Jnr become the tough opponent he is. Though the duo had had their fair share of family animosity and showdown, Floyd Senior had remained Mayweather’s biggest fan and greatest support. When the night club lights are out, when the razzmatazz of Las Vegas life retreats for some sanity and the ShowTime blitz are over, one of the greatest mainstay of Mayweather will remain his father. For everything your friends mean to you, few will take the place of family. There is a reason why the most expensive footballer on planet earth (Neymar) has his father as agent. It has to also count for something that the greatest sisters in Tennis history were and are still being tutored by their father. For all the successes you will ever attain in life, family is a key support system you will always require. There was a moment in the third round of the bout in Las Vegas when McGregor was seemingly picking out Mayweather, during the interval, it was Floyd Snr that was in the face of Mayweather, psyching him up and playing a cheerleader role. There are moments in your life when the encouraging words of family is greater than the voices of the John Maxwells, Robert Kiyosakis and the likes.

5 Hard Things You Have to Do to Move Forward with Your Life

1. Practice thinking better about yourself.

You have to admit, you’ve spent a lot of your life subconsciously belittling yourself. Thinking you’re not enough. Trying to be someone else. Someone who fits in. Someone who’s less sensitive. Less needy. Less flawed. Less YOU. Because you felt broken, and you didn’t want to scare people away. You wanted them to like you. You wanted to make a good impression. You wanted to be seen as worthy and loveable. So you could feel healed and whole. And so for the longest time, behind a facade of fake smiles, you have inadvertently betrayed yourself for the purpose of pleasing everyone else. And for longest time, your heart has ached.

But you’re at a point now where you’re seeing things differently. The heartache just isn’t worth it anymore. Belittling yourself for one more day just doesn’t make any sense. And more than that, you now realize no matter what you do or how you change, some people will never be pleased anyway. You now realize you have to start doing things for the right reasons. Not because it’s what you think everyone else needs, but because you finally know yourself to be worthy of your own love and care. Not because other people approve of you, but because you are breathing your own air, thinking your own thoughts, and occupying a space no one else ever could. Yes, you are indeed worthy! Your ideas are worthy. Your feelings are worthy. Your needs are worthy. And without everyone else’s constant validation, you must be who you are and live your truth. Even if it makes people turn their heads. Even if it means walking alone down the path less traveled for awhile. Even if your own confidence in yourself has been shaken! The real battle is always in your mind. And your mind is under your control, not the other way around. You may have been broken down by adversity or rejection or stress, but YOU are not broken. So don’t let others convince you otherwise. And don’t let your mind get the best of you either.

Heal yourself by refusing to belittle yourself. Choose to take up a lot of positive space in your own life today. Choose to give yourself permission to meet your own needs. Choose to honor your feelings and emotions. Choose to make self-love and self-care a part of your daily rituals…Choose to think better about yourself, so you can live better in spite of yourself.

2. Consciously embrace the fact that you are more than the one broken piece of you.

When times are tough, and some piece of you is chipped and broken, it’s easy to feel like everything – ALL of you – is broken along with it. But that’s not true. We all have this picture in our minds of ourselves – this idea of what kind of person we are. When this idea gets even slightly harmed or threatened, we tend to react defensively and irrationally. People may question whether we did a good job, and this threatens our idea of being a competent person, so we become angry or hurt by the criticism. Someone falsely accuses us of something and this damages our idea that we’re a good person, and so we get angry and attack the other person, or we cower and cry. And the list goes on. But the craziest thing is, oftentimes we are actually the ones harming and threatening ourselves with negativity and false-accusations…

Just this morning I was struggling to motivate myself to work on a new creative project I’ve been procrastinating on, so my identity of myself as someone who’s always productive and motivated and has great ideas suddenly came under attack. When I realized I wasn’t getting things done, it made me feel terribly self-conscious and upset because I began subconsciously worrying that I wasn’t who I thought I was. I felt like a slacker. My solution was to realize that I’m not just one thing. I’m not always productive – sometimes I am, but sometimes I’m unproductive too. I’m not always motivated – sometimes I am, but other times I’m a bit lazy. And obviously I don’t always have great ideas either – because that’s impossible.

The truth is, I can be many things, and remembering this helps me stretch my identity so it’s not so fragile – so it doesn’t completely shatter when a small piece of it gets chipped. Then it doesn’t matter if someone occasionally thinks I didn’t do a good job, or if I sometimes catch myself not doing a good job – because I don’t always do a good job. I make mistakes. And that’s perfectly OK.

3. Change, evolve, and start over when you must.

“Starting over is not an option!” Unfortunately, that’s a lie many of us hold on to until the bitter end. The idea of starting over being a bad thing is baked right into the fabric of our society’s education system. We send our children to a university when they’re 17 or 18, and basically tell them to choose a career path they’ll be happy with for the next 40 years. “But, what if I choose wrong?” I remember thinking to myself. Over the years, however, through bouts of failure and hardship, I’ve learned the truth through experience: you can change paths anytime you want to, and oftentimes it’s absolutely necessary that you do. Yes, starting over and making substantial changes in your life is almost always feasible. Of course, it won’t be easy, but neither is being stuck with a lifelong career you naively chose when you were a teenager. And neither is holding on to something that’s not meant to be, or something that’s already gone.

The truth is, no one wins a game of chess by only moving forward; sometimes you have to move backward to put yourself in a position to win. And this is a perfect metaphor for life. Sometimes when it feels like you’re running into one dead end after another, it’s actually a sign that you’re not on the right path. Maybe you were meant to hang a left back when you took a right, and that’s perfectly fine. Life gradually teaches us that U-turns are allowed. So turn around when you must! There’s a big difference between giving up and starting over in the right direction. And there are three little words that can release you from your past mistakes and regrets, and get you back on track. These words are: “From now on…”

So… from now on, what should you do? Anything. Something small. As long as you don’t just sit in your seat, strapped down to a destiny that isn’t yours. If you mess it up, start over. Try something else. Let go and grow! No doubt, one of the absolute hardest lessons in life is letting go – whether it’s guilt, anger, love or loss. Change is never easy – you fight to hold on and you fight to let go. But letting go is generally the healthiest path forward. It clears out toxic thoughts and choices from the past and paves the way to make the most positive use of the present. You’ve got to emotionally free yourself from some of the things that once meant a lot to you, so you can move beyond the past and the pain it brings you. Again, it takes hard work to let go and refocus yourself, but it’s worth every bit of effort you can muster! And oftentimes letting go is strictly about changing the labels you place on a situation – it’s looking at the same situation with fresh eyes and an open mind, and then making the best of it. It’s thinking better about the past and present, and then building small, life-changing daily rituals so you can start over again, and live better going forward.

4. Let go of the things you don’t need.

Eventually, most of us end up settling in some part of our life. We let go of certain ideals and dreams, we compromise, and we make trade-offs. We gradually learn that we can’t have everything we want, because not every outcome in life can be perfectly controlled. But if we pay close attention, we also learn that we can make the best of every outcome, and still get a lot of what we want in life, if we manage our time, energy and attitude appropriately. And these realizations collectively lead to an interesting question:

When should you settle, or compromise, and when should you continue fighting hard for what you ideally want to achieve? There is no one-size-fits-all answer to this question, but when you encounter a situation that forces you to choose between compromise and fighting forward against the opposition, it might help to also ask yourself: “Do I really need this, or do I just kinda want it?” Being able to distinguish needs from wants is essential in every walk of life. Never let go of an outcome you truly need in your life, but be reasonably flexible on the outcomes you want but could live fine without. In other words, choose your battles wisely, and don’t let “perfect” become the enemy of “great.” Remind yourself that what you pay attention to grows. So focus on what really matters and let go of what does not.

Don’t give up 50% of your life working 50-hour weeks at a day job that makes you absolutely miserable. Don’t abandon your sanity for the wrong reasons. Don’t neglect lifelong goals and dreams that have withstood the tests of time, and still bring incredible meaning into your life. If you really need something, fight hard for it! But for everything else, let go a little. Loosen your grip, compromise… settle. Settle on less of the unessential, to get more of what you really need and want in life.

5. Accept and embrace daily discomfort, for the right reasons.

Discomfort is a form of pain, but it isn’t a deep pain – it’s a shallow one. It’s the feeling you get when you’ve stepped outside your comfort zone. The idea of exercising in many people’s minds, for example, brings discomfort – so they don’t do it. Eating a spinach and kale salad brings discomfort too. So does meditating, or focusing on a difficult task, or saying “no” to others. Of course, these are just examples, because different people find discomfort in different things, but you get the general idea.

The key thing to understand is that most forms of discomfort actually help us grow into our strongest and smartest selves. However, many of us were raised by loving parents who did so much to make our childhoods comfortable, that we inadvertently grew up to subconsciously believe that we don’t need discomfort in our lives. And now we run from it constantly. The problem with this is that, by running from discomfort, we are constrained to partake in only the activities and opportunities within our comfort zones. And since our comfort zones are relativity small, we miss out on most of life’s greatest and healthiest experiences, and we get stuck in a debilitating cycle.

But, again, it’s hard – really, really hard sometimes! There is no person in the world capable of flawlessly handling every punch thrown at them. That’s not how we’re made. We’re made to get upset, sad, hurt, stumble and fall sometimes. Because that’s part of living – to face discomfort, learn from it, and adapt over the course of time. This is what ultimately molds us into the person we become. So when you find yourself cocooned in isolation and cannot find your way out of the darkness, remember that this is similar to the place where caterpillars go to grow their wings. Just because today is uncomfortable and stressful, doesn’t mean tomorrow won’t be wonderful. You just got to get there.

(MARCANDANGEL).

Football is Back!

As the world attempts to recover from the hysteria that was ‘Neymar’s deal to PSG’, football creeps on us again and offers us a slight reminder that ‘It’s about me and I am almost back’. The end of every football season across Europe ushers in new anticipation almost immediately. There are summers where football is extended either by a continental event or by the confederations cup; but even that pales in comparison to European league blitz and excitement. Yet, even among the elite leagues in Europe, it is a consensus that while the English Premier League might not be the league with the best quality of football, it is light years ahead of its peers in excitement, competitiveness and glamour. The Premier league has come of age. From insane money injection to TV rights deals that astounds the mind, the 2017/2018 season promises to be even better.

At the beginning of last season, most bookmakers predicted a two-horse race between the Manchester clubs. The deflection of attention suited Antonio Conte and Chelsea perfectly. Though the media continuously touted it to be a race between Chelsea and Spurs to retain interest, in truth, it was a procession from the Blues. Chelsea undoubtedly benefitted from the lack of European involvement last season and the big question going into this season is if the Blues have the squad to compete in several murky waters. The sale of about 17 players in the summer (though majority of these were fringe players) only magnified the thinness of the team. Reuben Loftus-Cheek, Nathaniel Chalobah, Nathan Ake, Kurt Zouma and the likes might not be starters but their presence provided numbers and cover for the most part. The acquisition of Tiemoue Bakayoko almost seems like a bargain in a transfer market that has gone bonkers. He has the physicality and energy needed for the league. However, question marks remain over Alvarao Morata. He certainly has the talent, but the cynics maintain that there is a reason he was a fringe player in Madrid. Amidst the noise about Morata, a lot hinges on the fitness of Eden Hazard and we might be surprised to find out that a certain Michy Batshuayi might steal the headline in the coming season.

How Arsene Wenger could survive the incessant clamour to step down at the end of last season can only be a leverage that can be pulled by being on a job for two decades. From the vitriol of Arsenal Fan TV to the ‘Wenger Out’ banners consistently trudged over the Emirates stadium, the pressure from Wenger reached an all-time crescendo. Salvaging the FA trophy at the final game of last season might be clutching on straws but it was enough to give Wenger ‘a vote of confidence’. The Gunners might not be in the elite European Champions League next season, and as United found out last season, involvement in the Europa League takes its own toll. The acquisition of club record signing, Alexandre Lacazette from Lyon, is by far the biggest Arsenal transfer business. The Frenchman is a goal machine and appears to have all the attributes needed for his new job. The goal for Arsenal will be to win the elusive premier league title and keeping Alexis Sanchez at the club, is super pivotal to making that happen. It might be cliché but just like Merlin, the immediate future of Arsenal rests on Sanchez. When he is at it, no one comes close in the league.

History suggest that Jose Mourinho has enjoyed his greatest successes in his second season at almost every club he has been to. Some might dismiss this a coincidental conjecture but this might be untrue, after all, even the most ingenious of us need time. Mourinho is a serial winner and his marriage with United last season was a union where both parties needed each other almost equally. Mourinho needed to redeem an image slighted by the nonsense that was Chelsea’s season in 2015/2016, and United needed a big name to revive an empire under decline since the departure of Sir Alex Ferguson. Football narrative was turned on its head when Romelu Lukaku opted for the theatre of dreams ahead of Fulham road. Mourinho will care less. Lukaku guarantees goals and the biggest question mark on the Belgian is whether he can deliver on the big stage. It was also key that United could keep goal keeper, David De Gea. As age takes a toll on Gianluigi Buffon and Manuel Neuer, the Spaniard could well be the best thing between the stick in world football today. Jose has recruited well and while splashing 40 million Euros on a 29-year-old defensive midfielder borders on the ridiculous, a bit of perspective is required. Top quality defensive midfielders are in short supply these days and Nemanja Matic is one that has won almost everything and knows the league; having conquered it with Jose in 2014/2015. The pressure is massive on Jose and United to succeed this season. Winning the Europa League and the League Cup last season masked the failures of that campaign, but there will be no mercies spared the Reds this time around.

Queue in City: A club with the acclaimed best manager in modern day football. A club with the most potent striker in the premier league over the past few seasons. A club with a frontline that will send shivers down the spine of any defense in world football. A club with the best right back in the league. A club with the most expensive defense every assembled in the history of the game. It is easy to see why the smart money is on Manchester City to win the league this season. Few will disagree that Pep Guardiola massively underachieved last season. Yet, in a season that was poor on grades, there were flashes of what this team can do. When they click, they are unbelievable. City’s problem has never been lack of goals. It is in defense that their troubles lurk. The shenanigans of Claudio Bravo cannot be quickly forgotten, but with the Brazilian goal keeper, Ederson acquired, and a backline of Kyle Walker, Danilo, Vincent Kompany and Benjamin Mendy, it is difficult to see what will stop City. Winning the league and getting to the latter stages of the Champions League is the minimum requirement for City’s season to be ticked as ‘successful’.

For Liverpool and Tottenham Hotspur, they certainly cannot be pushed aside. Liverpool will always be in contention; it is whether they have the stomach and tenacity for the marathon. Keeping Mane fit and ensuring Coutinho stays will be dynamics that will impact on their overall season. And then Tottenham Hotspurs. Chelsea might have been the most consistent side last campaign but Spurs were the best to watch. The tough task was for chairman Daniel Levy and Coach Mauricio Pochettino to retain the squad, and save for Walker (Tripper is more than a capable replacement), they have managed to do that (as at the time of writing; you never fully know). It remains to be seen how they adapt to playing away from their defunct home, and conquer Wembley. The club has done little business and many have criticized Spurs of standing still while their rivals have strengthened. It is a logical point on face value, but when one juxtapose it against the fact that Spurs have the youngest squad in the Division, it quells the doubt. Dele Alli, Harry Kane, Christian Eriksen and the likes will only get better. It is in squad depth that Tottenham might be found wanting. In conclusion, it will make for another footballing folktale to have a story such as ‘Leicester City of 2015/2016’; or if that is asking for too much, a team that will at least come close. Whatever be the case, if last season was touted as ‘the clash of new box office managers’, the impending one can be termed as ‘whose cash will yield the most value?’ If this league has taught us anything in recent times, it is that it is no respecter of the form book, erudite pundits or renowned bookmakers.