Choose Yourself Today: 7 Hard Choices that Will Make You Happier

1. Choose an attitude that moves you forward.
The Greek philosopher Epictetus said it perfectly more than 2,000 years ago: “People are disturbed, not by things (that happen to them), but by the principles and opinions which they form concerning (those) things. When we are hindered, or disturbed, or grieved, let us never attribute it to others, but to ourselves; that is, to our own principles and opinions.”

In other words, a peaceful and mentally strong person is not a someone who’s always in a good situation, but rather someone who always has a good attitude in every situation.

Regardless of what you’re going though, it’s about choosing: Will I allow this to upset me? Will I choose to make this bad or good? Will I choose to stay or walk away? Will I choose to yell or whisper? Will I choose to react or take the time to mindfully respond?

When our course students come to us feeling down about a life situation they can’t control, we typically start by reinforcing the hard truth: sometimes changing your situation isn’t possible, or simply not possible soon enough. You can’t get to a new job in an instant. You can’t make someone else change against his or her will. And you certainly can’t erase the past. But…

You CAN always choose an attitude that moves you forward. And doing so will help you change things from the inside out, and ultimately allow you to grow beyond the struggles you can’t control.

2. Choose to focus only on today.
No matter what’s happening, you can resourcefully fight the battles of just one day. It’s only when you add the battles of those two mind-bending eternities, yesterday and tomorrow, that life gets overwhelmingly intense and complicated.

Accept that it’s not the experience of today that holds you back and drives you mad, but the regret and resentment about something that happened yesterday or the fear and dread of what tomorrow might bring, but probably won’t. It’s necessary, then, to let yourself live just one day at a time – just today – just right here, right now.

And this same strategy applies to your goals too—they don’t need to be so darn grandiose and convoluted that they frighten you. If your goals excite you, and are broken down into manageable chunks, you’ll be compelled to move forward with them. If they are based on what brings meaning into your life, not just what you think you “should” do, working on them will flow easier into each new day.

3. Choose to take the next step.
It really only takes a small shift everyday that over time amounts to enormous change.

People don’t suddenly heal and start living their ideal life overnight—their daily rituals (tiny steps) play a massive role in making it possible for them to create the life they sincerely want to live.

You can choose to develop daily rituals that point you in the direction of creating your ideal life—or rituals that keep you firmly anchored to your present situation. Make the decision. Make the commitment. Then take the next tiniest step forward in the direction you choose to go.

Honestly, that’s all life is—tiny, positive steps that you take moment by moment, and then one day when you look back it all adds up to something worthwhile – something that’s often far better, and different, than what you had imagined when you began your journey.

4. Choose to take things less personally.
After a couple decades of intentional soul searching, I finally figured out that there’s absolutely no benefit to holding on to anger, resentment or any of their close cousins. Truthfully, I would not be the human being I am today if it weren’t for each and every life experience I’ve had. And the same is true for you.

Screwing up, making mistakes, and letting people down occasionally isn’t wrong—it’s being human.

When I realized this truth, and accepted it, I opened my awareness to the fact that not everything, or perhaps even anything, that anyone else ever does is about me.

Think about the last time you were unkind to someone. Was it because of them, or because of you? Perhaps you were just having a bad day at the time, right?

Truth be told, if someone hurts you, chances are they have been hurt themselves. So do your very best to never take anything too personally. Don’t let vain insults get to your heart. Most human beings can only give others what they have received themselves. All of your actions and intentions should come from a place of love, but not everyone will be loving in return, and that’s perfectly OK.

As Miguel Ruiz explained in his book The Four Agreements, when you do not take anything personally, you liberate yourself. You can open yourself to the world, freely, and not have to worry about the judgments of others.

5. Choose to create healthy space for yourself (away from sources of negativity).
It doesn’t matter if it’s your dad, sister, cousin, friend or coworker that’s spewing negativity at you, if they are bringing you down on a daily basis, you need to spend less time with them. No, this doesn’t mean you have to exile them from your life – it simply means you can choose to carve out time away from them, to reclaim some positivity and sanity.

There’s a big difference between accepting that someone’s negative actions or behavior is born from a place of anxiety or insecurity versus excusing their behavior and therefore enabling it to continue relentlessly in your life.

We don’t have to condone a person’s negative behavior toward us, even though we may be compassionate, loving and understanding of its origins.

At some point we all have to be accountable for our own well-being. And quite honestly, if someone decides to lash out at you again and again, you’re not obligated to be a punching bag.

Also, keep in mind that differing opinions are a part of life and relationships. But when we come across people who are intent on delivering harsh criticism from the sidelines, sometimes we just have to tell ourselves that we may not be doing it perfectly in their eyes, but hey, at least we’re stepping up and doing it. At least we’re getting up, showing up, walking into that darn arena every day and turning to face the crowd, shouting: “Here I am, trying my best! I’m a work in progress and I’m OK with it!”

6. Choose to seek support only from the right sources.
Think for a moment… If you were craving pizza, would you go to a Japanese sushi bar? No! Because you know they don’t serve pizza at a Japanese sushi bar. In fact, they wouldn’t even have the right ingredients to make a pizza even if they were willing to customize a special order for you. If you really wanted pizza, you would simply go to an Italian restaurant that serves it, right?

Now think about the people you go to when you’re craving support, reassurance, guidance, healthy feedback, or simply a loving, listening ear. Do you go to people who are consistently able to dish out what you are hungry for? Or do you go to people who don’t have what you need on their menu, and thus find yourself endlessly discouraged and disappointed?

Bottom line: It’s time to align your hunger with where you dine.

7. Choose to be OK with NOT being perfectly OK.
Even though it’s true that life’s challenges make us stronger, and that it will be OK eventually… it’s not always OK right now, and sometimes that’s all we can feel when we’re in the midst of terribly tough times. Sometimes NOT being OK is all we can register inside our tired brains and aching hearts. This feeling is normal. This emotion is human. And accepting this can feel like a small weight lifted.

The truth is, it’s not OK when someone you care about is no longer living and breathing and giving their amazing gifts to the world. It’s not OK when everything falls apart and you’re buried deep in the wreckage of a life you had not planned for. It’s not OK when the bank account is nearly at zero, with no clear sign of a promising income opportunity. It’s not OK when someone you trusted betrays you and breaks your heart. It’s not OK when you’re emotionally drained to the point you can’t get yourself out of bed in the morning. It’s not OK when you’re engulfed in failure or shame or a grief like you’ve never known before.

Whatever your tough times consist of, sometimes it’s just NOT OK right now. And that, again, is more than OK.

Yes, I’m suggesting to try your hardest to be perfectly OK with not being perfectly OK all the time. Because those with the strength to succeed in the long run are the ones who lay a firm foundation of growth with the bricks life has thrown at them. Don’t be afraid to fall apart for a little while, because when it happens, the situation will open an opportunity for you to grow and rebuild yourself into the brilliant human being you are capable of being, one brick at a time.

(MARCANDANGEL).

10 Tiny Thoughts that Keep Crushing Your Dreams (and Breaking Your Heart)

1. “My dreams and goals can wait.” – Live a life you are proud of. In the end, your greatest fear should not be of failure, but of succeeding at things that don’t matter to you. We never tell ourselves that we will never live our dreams. Instead we just keep talking about how we will start living our dreams tomorrow.

2. “I don’t have time.” – Bottom line: “I don’t have time,” is really just another, perhaps politer, or perhaps naive, way of saying, “It’s not that important to me.”

3. “I’m not talented enough.” – Learn the value of work and practice – just the repeated concerted effort to get better at things. Forget the notions of talent and genius. I can hear you thinking, “Oh, these other people, they just have something that I don’t have.” When really, they are just people who work and practice more. Understand this. Work and practice are the keys to anything you want to do. If you want to play the guitar – anybody can learn to play the guitar – you can be good at it. Maybe you won’t be Jimi Hendrix, but you could be really good. You can be good enough to write good songs or make music with others or whatever. There’s no such thing as not having enough talent to get to that level. Because persistence is talent, really. Just sticking with it. Talent is not stopping.

4. “This problem is too big to solve.” – The problem is not the problem. The problem is the incredible amount of over-thinking you’re doing with the problem. Let it go and be free.

5. “I’m not ready yet.” – The truth is nobody ever feels ready when an opportunity arises. Because great opportunities in life force us to grow emotionally and intellectually. They force us to stretch ourselves and our comfort zones, which means we won’t feel comfortable at first. And when we don’t feel comfortable, we don’t feel ready. But that doesn’t change the fact that sometimes the course of our lives depends on what we do or don’t do in a few seconds, a heartbeat, when we either seize an opportunity, or just miss it. Miss the moment and you may never get a chance again. So in case you never get a second chance, don’t be afraid! And what if you do get a second chance? Take it! It’s as simple as that.

6. “I knew I wasn’t good enough.” – Your struggle is part of your story. Being rejected from something you want often means you are being directed toward something you need.

7. “I’m a failure.” – Not trying is failing. Everything else is just practice. It’s OK if you mess up, that’s how you get wiser. Give yourself a break. And don’t give up! Good things take time, and you’re getting there, one step at a time.

8. “I just want everything to be easy.” – In every adversity there is a message. Struggles and crises are nature’s way of forcing change – breaking down old structures, shaking loose negative habits so that something new and better can grow in their place. So remember, just because you are struggling does NOT mean you are failing. Every great success requires some kind of struggle to get there.

9. “They have it so much easier than me.” – No one has it easier than you. Every one of us is fighting our own private battles. The strongest among us aren’t those who show strength we can see, but those who have won incredible inner battles we know nothing about.

10. “I have nothing to be thankful for.” – Choose positivity today. If you’re struggling to be thankful for what you have, think for a moment and be thankful for what you’ve escaped. Honestly, it doesn’t really matter if your glass is half empty or half full. Be thankful that you have a glass and that there’s something in it.

(MARCANDANGEL).

You Have To Keep Believing - Ask Liverpool

On Tuesday, 7th May 2019, football reminded us why we fell in love with it in the first place. Like a renewed lover who can never lose her spice, she reminded us that even though we have been in this relationship for so long, she can still leave us breathless.

What a performance it was. Liverpool did not just defeat Barcelona physically, but technically, tactically, and ultimately intellectually, too. Barcelona, considered by many the greatest team in Europe, were outsmarted by a 20-year-old from West Derby in Merseyside. A 20-year old that once again proved that football is not a respecter of age. Trent Alexander-Arnold was still thinking when Barcelona stopped for the fourth goal, meaning he sold them a dummy that resonated across the globe as loud as any shot, sending Liverpool to Madrid on June 1. In the final analysis, this remarkable journey will not culminate on Merseyside, but in Madrid. After the miracle of this night and of this season, they deserve nothing less.

It is a cliché but Anfield is truly a special place; so special that even the greatest players in the world can cave to the atmosphere. On nights like this, emotions take on flesh, drive consumes the spirit and determination trounces talent. The takeaway for everyone is that at times, talent is not enough, and every time, hardwork and sheer drive will defeat talent. As Les Brown will say ‘How bad do you want it?’
However, one of the subtle stories (and there were many of them last night), was the audacious inscription on Mo Salah’s shirt. Mo Salah choose the occasion to wear that shirt. The inscription ‘Never Give Up’ exemplified everything about that Liverpool performance. The odds were staked against them. Not only were they facing arguably the best partnership in world football (Suarez/Messi), they were also missing two of their most potent partnerships (Salah/Firmino). Few gave them a chance, but the team believed. That belief is something we all need in this life, irrespective of what path we take.

As Martin Samuel of the Daily Mail remarked ‘This was a magnificent performance, of not just courage but footballing excellence. There is so much more to Liverpool than that ferocious press yet, on nights like this, it is those moments that resonate. How do they keep it up? How, amidst the most hard-fought title race in history, do they find the energy for this?’ It is difficult to answer as there will always be conjectures. One thing is constant though, at times, adversity brings out the best in us.

Like the renewed lover, football reminded us that though it is the hope that kills us, it is still the same hope that makes her magical. Long may she continue to seat at the iron throne of our hearts.

Short Excerpts From My Novel - Cacophony

Things began to hit rock bottom when Nkem started to notice that his mother’s health was fast deteriorating and the cracks were forming in her face. The cracks were taking a pattern that would soon announce itself to the world. She had first called it malaria but the elongated nature of the illness, coupled with the fact that she was losing weight, made Nkem and Da Amadi very worried. Something was not quite right. The first line of action for Obiageli was to resort to her spiritual mother.

‘They were always going to come for you, especially now that your son is a graduate,’ were the opening lines of her spiritual mother.
Even at a time when knowledge pervaded the environment, as far as spirituality goes, this was a turf for conformity and fewer questions. The joke had it that if you query the spiritual too often, the infinite might get angry and pour madness on you. It was the kind of fear often peddled around by those who engaged in the craft. It sold their trade and gave them the required decorum to bask in the spoils. There were little spiritual houses littered around Oboda-Akpu at the time. Many of them would pass for shanties but they wore the look and looked the part. Little pieces of red and white fabric were knotted to carefully selected stones and strategically placed on the sides of the shanties. There were half calabashes outside with one or two eggs inside. The calabashes also contained a mixture of leaves and herbs, visible enough to scare any intruder, while enticing those that seek answers, and sometimes, miracles. In a few other places, there were conspicuous banners that spoke to the mind from afar. The banners often had poor syntax on them but they were sensible enough to be understood by all and sundry.

‘Spiritual mother, please what do I do?’ Obiageli queried.

5 Lessons I Learned from Overcoming the Hardest Days of My Life

1. Acceptance is the first step forward.
There are two kinds of pain: pain that hurts and pain that changes you. When you roll with life, instead of resisting it, both kinds help you grow.

To move forward in any situation, you must first accept the reality you’re faced with. This acceptance provides you with an important starting point from which you can move in any direction you choose. To deny this reality, or to fight against the past, will merely waste your time and energy. To wish that things were different, or to pretend that they are, gets you nowhere.

Acceptance is letting go and allowing things to be the way they truly are. It doesn’t mean you don’t care about improving the realities of life—it’s just realizing that the only thing you really have control over is yourself in the present moment.

Forgiveness is a big part of this process too. Forgiveness is the acceptance of the present moment, as it is, without attachment to any other time, place or circumstance. Almost all negativity is caused by a lack of forgiveness and denial of the present. Unease, anxiety, guilt, tension, stress, worry, and resentment—all forms of unhealthy attachment—are caused by too much past or future, and not enough presence.

2. It’s healthy to be a work in progress.
Self-doubt plagues us because we desperately want to be somebody we’re not. I often want to be perfectly disciplined, for example, and when I’m not I come down hard on myself. The key, I’ve found, is to remind myself that although not perfect, the person I am is pretty darn great. I just need to embrace the reality that I’m not always as disciplined as I’d like to be. And I also need to remember that I have had many successes in my life. Just like YOU.

So I challenge you to walk beside me on this journey…

Accept your humanness. You can stop pretending. It feels good to own up to stuff, to admit that you’re human—a work in progress—a beautiful mess. Wanting to be someone or something else is a waste of your beauty. You’re fine. If you feel like you aren’t, you’re blowing things out of proportion. Having a little anxiety is fine. Making mistakes is fine. Being a little fearful is fine. Your secrets are fine. You’re a good person. You’re intelligent. You’re fine just the way you are.

3. You need to feel emotional pain, so you can grow beyond it.
Never apologize for being sensitive or emotional when life knocks you down hard. There’s no reason to be ashamed for feeling something or for expressing pain if it’s real to you. It’s a sign that you have a big heart, and that you aren’t afraid to be honest about it. Showing your emotions is a sign of human strength. The people who judge you for being human, and not being modest, emotionless, and “in line,” are the ones who need to apologize.

By trying to hide your pain, and not wanting to feel bad, you make your bad feelings worse. But by allowing yourself to feel bad, and realizing we all feel bad sometimes, you give yourself space to deal with the truth. So give yourself this space, and embrace it. Too many people want to feel happy all the time, and positive every single second, but that’s not reality. We all feel bad sometimes, and that’s OK. When you accept this, and embrace the growing pains of living, you gradually rise above the pain.

4. Everything in life is temporary, and you must respond accordingly.
Your big breakthrough will come when you recognize that all your inadequacies, all your limitations, and all your failings, losses and setbacks, are only temporary. And once they pass in the real world, they’re prolonged existence is simply an artificial reality you cling to with your thoughts.

Yes, there may be pain and uncertainty for a while, but it never lasts forever—at least not at the same level. Time and space heal wounds. Angel and I experienced this firsthand after losing two loved ones to illnesses and suicide, back to back. Feelings of depression would come and go for months, but eventually, with therapy, these feelings dissipated.

Of course, it’s easy to get caught up in a painful situation and think, “The world is over!” But actually, this painful feeling and situation are just passing clouds. They’re just part of an ever-changing experience, and while it’s not always pleasant, it will pass like everything else has passed. And you need to respond accordingly.

So remind yourself: The goal isn’t to get rid of all your negative feelings or life situations. That’s impossible. The goal is to change your response to them as time changes. Because the truth is, you can’t control exactly what happened in the past, but you can control how you respond to it today. In your response is always your greatest power.

5. There is always, always, always something to be grateful for.
This may sound a bit cliché—promoting gratitude as a universal solution—but the reason it’s always mentioned is because it works. Every time.

Even after a loved one passes, the actual present reality of our lives without this loved one isn’t unbearable unless we compare it to the impossible fantasy of them still being alive. The reality is, we still have our own lives and our health and passions to explore… we still have other wonderful family members and friends who love us… and that’s just the start of things to be grateful for. Now, this reality isn’t always full of happiness—sometimes it has unpleasantness—but you can embrace that too, instead of wishing it matched up with a stressful fantasy.

So just do your best to keep your head up. Take a deep breath and be grateful for everything that remains and everything that’s growing stronger in your life. When it feels like everything is falling apart, remind yourself that you can either let it define you, destroy you, or let it strengthen you through gratitude.

And remember, it’s just an experience.

(MARCANDANGEL).

Stop Worrying About What Others Think of You: 7 Tips for Feeling Better

1. Realize that fear itself is the real enemy.
Franklin D. Roosevelt so profoundly said, “Only thing we have to fear is fear itself.” Nothing could be closer to the truth. This is especially true as it relates to self-fulfilling prophecies.

A self-fulfilling prophecy is a false belief about a situation that motivates the person with the belief to take actions that cause the belief to come true. This kind of thinking often kills opportunities and tears relationships apart. For instance, you might wrongly believe that a group of people will reject you, so you become defensive, anxious, and perhaps even hostile with them. Eventually, your behavior brings about the feared rejection, which wasn’t there to begin with. And then you, ‘the prophet,’ feels that you were right from the very beginning: “I knew they didn’t like me!”

Do you see how this works? Look carefully at your own tendencies. How do your fears and beliefs about possible rejection influence your behavior toward others? Take a stand. Instead of letting fear show you what might be wrong in your relationships, start looking for signs of what might be right.

2. Let go of your “end of the world” thinking.
All variations of fear, including the fear of rejection, thrive on “end of the world” thinking. In other words, our emotions convince us that an undesirable outcome results in annihilation.

What if they don’t like me?
What if he rejects me?
What if I don’t fit in and I’m left sitting alone at the party?
None of these things result in the “end of the world,” but if we convince ourselves that they do, we will irrationally fear these outcomes and give our fears control over us. The truth is, we – human beings – are inefficient at accurately predicting how future misfortune will make us feel. In fact, most of the time we avoid consciously thinking about it all together, which only perpetuates our subconscious fears.

So ask yourself: “If disaster should strike, and my fear of being rejected comes true, what are three constructive ways I could cope and move forward with my life?” Sit down and tell yourself a story (write it down too if it helps) about how you will feel after rejection, how you will allow yourself to be upset for a short while, and then how you will begin the process of growing from the experience and moving on. Just doing this exercise will help you feel less fear around the possibility of rejection.

3. Question what “rejection” really means.
If a person discovers a 200-carat white diamond in the earth but, due to ignorance, believes it to be worthless, and thus tosses it aside, does this tell us more about the diamond or the person? Along the same lines, when one person rejects another, it reveals a lot more about the ‘rejecter’ than the ‘rejected.’ All you are really seeing is the often shortsighted opinion of one person. Consider the following…

If J.K. Rowling stopped after being rejected by multiple publishers for years, there would be no Harry Potter. If Howard Schultz gave up after being turned down by banks 200+ times, there would be no Starbucks. If Walt Disney quit too soon after his theme park concept was trashed by 300+ investors, there would be no Disney World.

One thing is for sure: If you give too much power to the opinions of others, you will become their prisoner. So never let someone’s opinion alter your reality. Never sacrifice who you are, or who you aspire to be, just because someone else has a problem with it. Love who you are inside and out, and keep pushing forward. No one else has the power to make you feel small unless you give them that power. And when someone rejects you, don’t inevitably feel it’s because you’re unworthy or unlovable. Because, in many ways, all they’ve really done is give you feedback about their own shortsightedness.

4. Let your presence overpower your fear.
Ever noticed how people who are struggling with emotional challenges tend to tell you how they don’t want to feel? Fair enough, but at some point we all need to focus on how we DO want to feel.

When you’re in a social situation that’s making you anxious, forget what you don’t want to feel for a moment. Work out how you DO want to feel right now in the present moment. Train yourself to live right here, right now without regretting how others once made you feel, or fearing the possibility of future judgment.

This is YOUR choice. You CAN change the way you think.

If you were delivering life-saving mouth-to-mouth resuscitation on your mother in public, you’d be 100% focused and present. You wouldn’t be thinking about what bystanders thought of your hair, your body type, or the brand of jeans you were wearing. All these inconsequential details would vanish from your consciousness. The intensity of the situation would motivate you to choose not to care about what others might be thinking of you. This proves, quite simply, that thinking about what others are thinking about you is YOUR CHOICE.

5. Let go of your need to always be right.
The reason your fear of rejection sometimes gets the best of you is because a part of you believes you’re always right. If you think someone doesn’t like you, then surely they don’t. Right? WRONG!

People who never learn to question their emotions, especially when they’re feeling worrisome or anxious, make life much more difficult than it has to be.

If your perception is always so accurate, why do you make so many mistakes? Exactly! It’s time to let go a little. Being more confident in life partly means being OK with not knowing what’s going to happen, so you can relax and allow things to play out naturally. Relaxing with ‘not knowing’ is the key to confidence in relationships and peace in life.

So here’s a new mantra for you – say it, and then say it again: “This is my life, my choices, my mistakes and my lessons. I have nothing to prove. And as long as I’m not hurting people, I need not worry what they think of me.”

6. Embrace and enjoy your individuality.
Constantly seeking approval means we’re perpetually worried that others are forming negative judgments of us. This steals the fun, ingenuity, and spontaneity from our lives. Flip the switch on this habit. If you’re lucky enough to have something that makes you different from everybody else, don’t be ashamed and don’t change. Uniqueness is priceless. In this crazy world that’s trying to make you like everyone else, find the courage to keep being your remarkable self. And if they laugh at you for being different, laugh back at them for being the same.

It takes a lot of courage to stand alone, but it’s worth it. Being unapologetically YOU is worth it! Your real friends in life will reveal themselves slowly – they’re the ones who truly know you and love you just the same.

Bottom line: Don’t change so people will like you; be yourself and the right people will love the real you.

7. Use rejection as a priceless growth opportunity.
As soon as someone critiques and criticizes you, as soon as you are rejected, you might find yourself thinking, “Well, that proves once again that I am not worthy.” What you need to realize is, these other people are NOT worthy of YOU and your particular journey. Rejection is necessary medicine; it teaches you how to reject relationships and opportunities that aren’t going to work, so you can quickly find new ones that will. It doesn’t mean you aren’t good enough; it just means someone else failed to notice what you have to offer. Which means you now have more time to improve yourself and explore your options.

“Will you be bitter for a moment? Absolutely. Hurt? Of course, you’re human. There isn’t a soul on this planet that doesn’t feel a small fraction of their heartbreak at the awareness of rejection. For a short time afterwards you will ask yourself every question you can think of…

What did I do wrong?
Why didn’t they like me?
How come?
But then you have to let your emotions fuel you! This is the important part. Let your feelings of rejection drive you, feed you, and inspire one heck of a powerful opening to the next chapter of your story.

(MARCANDANGEL).

Lessons From ‘Leaving Neverland’ Documentary

‘Leaving Neverland’ is a feature-length documentary which included new allegations of sexual assault on minors by pop star, Michael Jackson. These fresh and damning allegations were made by Wade Robson and James Safechuck; former friends of the pop star. In sum, it’s was a difficult watch. And while the validity of some of the claims remains a cogitation for public debate, one can’t but think that the entire saga has left some staggering lessons in its wake.

1. The World Never Forget
It is a cliché, but it remains true that the world certainly never forgets. Put aptly, in this age of social media, CCTV, hidden cameras, sophisticated surveillance and all what’s not, no one is completely shrouded. The flip side to this is that whatever we do in this life, in public glare or in private will find some outer form sooner than later. The damning allegations made by Wade and James dates back to their times as kids (1983-1987). Over 30 years later, it is still as stinging and fresh. The world truly never forgets.

2. The Agony of Fame
It was Clive James who once said that ‘A life without fame can be a good life, but fame without a life is no life at all.’ Michael Jackson was one who assumed notoriety before his life hardly took flight; and this was the genesis of the pop star’s many problems. Michael had often said in interviews and in some parts of the said documentary that the reason why he was drawn to kids was because ‘he never had a childhood.’ Those that were around Michael always said that he was ‘child-like’ and always craved the things children yearn, even in his 40’s. in the final analysis, fame comes with its own thorns and deprivations.

3. Beware The ‘Hosanna and Crucify Him’ Crowd
One of the biggest lessons from the troubled life that was Michael Jacksons’ was the fact that he lived in the inimical eye of the public. The irony of the ‘Leaving Neverland’ documentary was that the same crowd that adorned him, are the same people hanging him. The crowd is too fickle, and this buttresses the fact that we can’t afford to be deluded by both their accolades and castigations. Be good, but never live for people.

4. The Vanity of Untold Wealth
Watching the ‘Leaving Neverland’ documentary, one of the most striking things is the wealth and riches of the Neverland ranch. Neverland, which was the home of Michael Jackson, was the dream destination. Michael bought the estate in 1988 for an undisclosed fortune. The ranch was initially put up for sale in 2015, about six years after Michael Jackson passed, and the asking price was $100 million then. However, the asking price of Neverland has significantly dropped. It goes for $31 million today. However, it is yet to get a buyer. Wealth truly consists not in having great possessions, but in having few wants. The story of Neverland is a great lesson.

5. Your Problem Is Your Problem
People will always tell you that they will be there for you. Friends will even tell you things like ‘I got your back’ while church people will mouth phrases like ‘I am with you in prayer.’ The reality is that many of those sweet talks are complete hogwash. When push comes to shove, your demons are your demons, and you have to face them alone ultimately. People can make your life’s journey easier, but they won’t bear your sorrows for you. Michael had family and friends, he was the most popular man on earth in his time, but he battled many battles alone, including the battle of his last moments on earth. Never forget this, you can be in the midst of people, and still be alone.