15 Important Reminders for Your Darkest Moments of Self-Doubt

1. When your marriage, parenting, faith, etc. gets tough, it’s not a sign that you’re doing it wrong. These intimate, intricate aspects of life are toughest when you’re doing them right – when you’re dedicating time, having the tough conversations, and making daily sacrifices.

2. On particularly hard days when you feel that you can’t endure, remind yourself that your track record for getting through hard days is 100% so far.

3. Have a little faith that the universe has a plan for you, and it’s all being revealed in the right time frame. Something you will eventually learn through all your ups and downs is that there are really no wrong decisions in life, just choices that will take your life down different paths. Sometimes you must get hurt in order to grow, or lose in order to gain. Sometimes the lesson you need most can only be learned through a little pain.

4. Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.

5. Life is not about maintaining the status quo. Life is not about playing it safe every second. Life is not about standing still and wallowing in self-doubt. It’s about connecting with your soul, respecting your integrity, and telling yourself that you’re able. It’s about taking a few steps, regardless of how hard and small they may be, so you can move forward and evolve.

6. You must make a firm decision that you’re going to move forward. It won’t always happen naturally or automatically. Sometimes you will have to rise up and say, “I don’t care how hard this is. I don’t care how disappointed I am. I’m not going to let this get the best of me. I’m moving on with my life.”

7. No matter what’s happening, you CAN efficiently fight the battles of today. It’s only when you add the battles of those two relentless eternities, yesterday and tomorrow, that life gets overwhelmingly complicated. Realize that it’s not the experience of today by itself that devastates you, but the regret and resentment about something that happened yesterday or the fear and dread of what tomorrow might bring. It’s necessary, therefore, to let yourself live just one day at a time – just today – just right here, right now.

8. When you stop worrying about what you can’t control, you have time to change the things you can control. And that changes everything.

9. Don’t worry about mistakes and failures, worry about what you’re giving up when you don’t even try.

10. Making mistakes means you’re actually DOING something in the real world and learning from it. Listening or reading is often just listening or reading. It’s not real learning. Real learning comes from making mistakes. And mistakes come from gradual implementation.

11. If you never go after it again, you’ll never have it. If you never ask again, the answer will always be no. If you never step forward again, you’re stuck right where you are.

12. In the space between “I’ll try again” and “I give up” there’s a lifetime. It’s the difference between the path you walk and the one you leave behind; it’s the gap between who you are capable of being and who you have become; its the legroom for the fairy tales you’ll tell yourself in the future about what could have been.

13. Everyone has a little talent. What’s rare is the courage to follow it into the dark places where it leads, and beyond.

14. Courage doesn’t always roar; sometimes it’s simply a whisper at the end of the day that says, “I’ll try again tomorrow.”

15. If you’re still sitting there thinking, “Things should be different right now,” take a deep breath. That’s not true and you know it. Because if it were true, things would be different right now. Stay present and focus on what you can create today. And tomorrow will reveal itself exactly as it should, just as yesterday already has.

(MARCANDANGEL).

Obi Invictus And The Nigerian Dream (satire)

Remind me again, why is there so much hullabaloo about Obi Invictus and the FBI indictment of him for fraud running into 12 million dollars? Is he not supposed to be the poster boy of the Nigerian dream? Is he not supposed to be the media darling for whom there is no erring? Why are the streets of social media in a rush to pull this great young man down? The damning report from FBI Special Agent, Marshall Ward, must have been the contemplations of Obi’s detractors and sworn enemies. They must have sponsored the FBI malicious investigation to spite him, to cut him to size, to remind him that his ‘village people’ still have the mojo.

Obi is the model Nigerian entrepreneur. He built his Invictus Group company with grit, blood, hardwork and handy knowledge from his degree in Forensic Criminology.

Forget what you read, Obi Invictus is still your ‘Man Crush Monday (MCM).’ He hasn’t killed anyone. He was only trying to get by in a tough economy. When he made a quote that ‘Mindset is everything, be it in entrepreneurship or daily life,’ he was reminding us all that there is no holy grail that the mind cannot attain. He was also admonishing us to expand our mind to accommodate cybercrime, or how else will the big club owners’ make their fortune? Afterall, the ‘Bentleys’ will not drive themselves either. Those that say that Obi’s indictment will put a stain on our global image are all just waxing lyrical and making no sense. What image? Do we have one for starters?

Obi has aspired to inspire, then decided to conspire and now he has been forced to perspire in his new quagmire. He is at crossfire with the FBI, but this is not his fault. The Americans simply hate young astute black people that are doing well for themselves. Let it also be noted that it was the same Americans that poured encomiums on him on their Forbes ‘30’ list. Shame on you, America. Shame on you!

Say whatever you may, but Obi Invictus lived the Nigerian dream. The Nigerian dream is 'hustle.' For this dream, there is no template. The end often justifies the means, and whatever you do, be inspiring to validate your hustle. Suffix every social media post with 'God did it.' Afterall, the Nigerian god is ever willing to lavish us with sudden wealth or how else will he get our praises in this part? Obi is not a victim. Obi is what majority of young people in Nigeria aspire to. He will be fine. His ‘god’ will deliver him and put all his enemies to shame!

10 Things to Start Telling Yourself on Hard Days

1. Allow yourself to be a beginner. No one starts off being great. Do the best you can until you know better. Once you know better, do better.

2. Stop running away. Breathe. Be where you are. You’re where you’re supposed to be at this very moment. Every step and experience is necessary.

3. Use disappointment and frustration to motivate you rather than annoy you. Be mindful. You are in control of the way you respond to life.

4. You are not a product of your circumstances. You are a product of your decisions. It’s about deciding to NOT let your frustration or fear decide your future.

5. Don’t compare your progress with that of others. We all need our own time to travel our own distance. Focus on the step you are taking now, and make the best of it.

6. In a culture that seeks instant results, we must learn the beauty of effort, patience, and perseverance. Be strong, present, and steadfast. Stick to your positive daily rituals.

7. Patience is a genuine expression of confidence, acceptance, serenity, and faith in your own ability. It’s a sign of strength. Practice it.

8. As you face life’s inevitable obstacles, remember, it’s far better to be exhausted from lots of effort and learning, than to be tired of doing absolutely nothing.

9. Your struggle is part of your story. Being rejected from something you want often means you are being directed toward something you need…to take the next best step forward.

10. No life story is one chapter long. No chapter tells the whole tale. No mistake defines who you are. Keep turning the pages that need to be turned.

(MARCANDANGEL).

15 Of My Best Life Quotes Of All Time

1. Choosing to be positive and having a grateful attitude is going to determine how you're going to live your life - Joel Osteen.

2. If you don't like the road you are walking, start paving another one - Dolly Parton.

3. Beginning today, treat everyone you meet as if they were going to be dead by midnight. Extend to them all the care, kindness and understanding you can muster, and do it with no thought of any reward. Your life will never be the same again - Og Mandino.

4. To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone, and a funny bone - Reba McEntire.

5. Life's most persistent and urgent question is, '"What are you doing for others?" - Martin Luther King Jnr.

6. Those who don't believe in magic will never find it - Ronald Dahl.

7. Things are always better in the morning - Harper Lee.

8. Anyone who has ever made anything of importance, was disciplined - Andrew Hendrixson.

9. The world makes way for the man who knows where he is going - Ralph Waldo Emerson.

10. Don't live the same year 75 times and call it a life - Robin Sharma.

11. The grass is greener where you water it - Neil Barringham.

12. Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving - Albert Einstein.

13. You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough - Mae West

14. A bird doesn't sing because it has an answer, it sings because it has a song - Maya Angelou

15. In the end, it is not the years in your life that count, it is the life in your years - Abraham Lincoln.

8 Little Wake-Up Calls You Need to Receive Before it’s Too Late

1. You might not have tomorrow to say, “I love you.”
About a decade ago a coworker of mine died in a car accident. During his funeral several people from the office were in tears, saying kind things like: “I loved him. We all loved him so much. He was such a wonderful person.” I started crying too, and I wondered if these people had told him that they loved him while he was alive, or whether it was only with death that this powerful word, love, had been used without question or hesitation. I vowed to myself then and there that I would never again hesitate to speak up to the people I love and remind them of how much I appreciate them. They deserve to know they give meaning to my life. They deserve to know I think the world of them. Bottom line: If you love someone today, tell them. If you appreciate someone today, tell them. There might not be a tomorrow. Today is the day to express your love and admiration.

2. Your judgments of others are often inaccurate.
You will never know exactly what another person is going through or what their whole story is. When you believe you do, realize that your assumptions about their life are in direct relation to your limited perspective. Many people you believe to be successful are extremely unhappy. Many people you think have it easy worked their tail off achieve what they have. Many people who appear to be wealthy are in debt because of their extravagant tastes for material possessions. Many people who appear to you to be old and uncool were once every bit as young and hip and inexperienced as you.

3. Not trying is why most people fail.
It’s not the mistakes and failures you have to worry about, it’s the opportunities you miss when you don’t even try that hurt you the most. Trying always leads to success regardless of the outcome. Even mistakes and failures teach you what not to do next time. Thus, every outcome is a lesson that makes you stronger and wiser. In the end, there’s only one thing that makes a dream impossible to achieve: the failure to try. The results you achieve are not based on what you plan to do or what you say you’ll do. Your results come from what you actually try and do consistently. Your life will get better when you get better. Start investing in yourself mentally, physically, and spiritually. Make it a priority to learn and grow every day by building positive rituals and sticking to them. The stronger you become, the better your life will feel.

4. Patience does not mean waiting and doing nothing.
Patience involves productive activity. It means doing your very best with the resources available to you, while understanding that the results you seek are worth the required time and effort, and not available elsewhere for any less time and effort. Patience is the realization that the quality of your life is much more significant than the quantity of things you fill it with. Patience is your willingness to accept and appreciate what you have right now, while you put forth a steady, focused effort into growing toward your dreams and goals.

5. You don’t need anything more to be happy.
Intuitively, you already know that the best stuff in life isn’t stuff at all, and that relationships, experiences and meaningful work are the staples of a happy, fulfilling life. Yet you live in a consumer driven society where your mind is incessantly subjected to clever advertising ploys that drive you, against your better judgment, to buy material goods you don’t need or even want. At a certain point, the needless material objects you buy crowd out the emotional needs advertisers would like you to believe they are meant to support. So next time you’re getting ready to make an impulsive purchase, ask yourself if this thing is really better than the things you already have. Or have you been momentarily tricked into believing that you’re dissatisfied with what you already have?

6. You aren’t perfect, and neither is anyone else.
All humans are imperfect. At times, the confident lose confidence, the patient misplace their patience, the generous act selfish, and the knowledgeable second guess what they know. And guess what? You’re human—we all are. We make mistakes, we lose our tempers, and we get caught off guard. We stumble, we slip, and we spin out of control sometimes. But that’s the worst of it; we all have our moments. Most of the time we’re remarkable. So stand beside the people you love through their trying times of imperfection, and offer yourself the same courtesy; if you aren’t willing to, you don’t deserve to be around for the perfect moments either.

7. All the little things make a big difference.
Life isn’t about a single moment of great triumph and attainment. It’s about the trials and errors that get you there—the blood, sweat, and tears—the small, inconsequential things you do every day. It all matters in the end—every step, every regret, every decision, and every affliction. The seemingly useless happenings add up to something. The minimum wage job you had in high school. The evenings you spent socializing with coworkers you never see anymore. The hours you spent writing thoughts on a personal blog that no one reads. Contemplations about elaborate future plans that never came to be. All those lonely nights spent reading novels and news columns and comics strips and fashion magazines and questioning your own principles on life and sex and religion and whether or not you’re good enough just the way you are. All of this has strengthened you. All of this has led you to every success you’ve ever had. All of this has made you who you are today. Truth be told, you’ve been broken down a 1,000 times and put yourself back together again. Think about how remarkable that is, and how far you’ve come. You’re not the same person you were a year ago, a month ago, or even yesterday. You’re always growing… stronger!

8. Excuses are lies.
Make no mistake, there is always a lie lingering in between a dream and too many excuses. And the lie is you lying to yourself. The excuses and explanations won’t do you any good. They won’t add any value to your life or improve the quality of it by even the slightest margin. To fulfill your calling and get where you wish to go in life requires more than just thinking and talking. These feats require focused and sustained action. And the good news is, you’re perfectly capable of taking whatever actions are necessary. You just have to choose to actually do it. No one else can succeed for you on your behalf. The life you live is the life you build for yourself. There are so many possibilities to choose from, and so many opportunities for you to bridge the gap between where you are and where you want to be. Now is the moment to actually step forward.

(MARCANDANGEL).

Life Lesson: Pick Your Moments

A few minutes ago, Tennis world number one, Novak Djokovic defeated world number two and Centre Court star boy, Roger Federer, in the Wimbledon final.

For those that follow the sport, you will agree it was a classic. Familiar names, but they served us a match to remember taking the game to five sets, lasting for almost five hours! (The longest ever Wimbledon final).The aftermath of the game left me itching for my keypads. There were huge lessons to take away.

The general consensus from the bookmakers and simple viewers like myself, was that Roger Federer played the better tennis on the day. The two sets he won were 6-1, 6-4, and the two he lost before the deciding fifth set were tie-breaks. Infact, all the stats showed that Federer was streets ahead of him. Yet, Djokovic won that game. How? He picked his moments. He played his best tennis at the tie breakers and in the all deciding fifth set. In the second and fourth set, he lost easily and choose to conserve his energy wisely. In the war, he picked the most decisive battles and that made all the difference. In life, we must pick our moments. We must pace ourselves. We must know the most important battles in the war. We must learn to conserve energy, resources and time for when it truly matter. We are all finite resource so we must know when to strike.

Despite the partisan noise at Centre Court that almost made it feel like Federer was in Zurich, Novak Djokovic maintained his cool and brought out the steel that makes him such a doyen of the game. At times, you will be the unpopular one, the unfamiliar, the unloved and the crowd will want to get into your skin. The key is to use the detractors as fuel, and process the noise as 'fitting chants.' Federer's place in history is long preserved, and he will live to fight another day for his 21st grand slam title, but there was so much to learn from this game. Pick your moments!

Seven Things To Always Remember

1. Remember why you started in the first place. Frame your 'why' and ensure it is etched in the annals of your soul. When life gets tough and tight, look at the frame and remember why you are in the race in the first place.

2. Remember the moments that forged you into who you are today. Those scratching nights, those leeches that disguised as friends, those days that had 240 long bitter hours in them. Remember that it was for those moments that you were knocked into shape.

3. Remember family at all times. And family is not just blood, but those who hard times and life have revealed as your family. Remember them. You won't always be a messiah, but be there for family.

4. Remember to make the world better than you met it. In your pursuit for fortune and a good life, be a source of good to people. Remember to leave a smile when heaviness lurked around you. Remember to be the answer to the prayers of others. Do this at your own level.

5. Remember not to sweat the small stuff, because they are all stuff when all is said and done. Remember to give priority to the things that truly matter, that really counts. In the final analysis, you don't want to be 80 years old, and wonder what you have spent all your life focusing on.

6. Remember those that caused you severe pain. Not because you want to nurture an eternal grudge in your heart against them, but because you want to be wiser going forward. Remember to forgive those that severely hurt you, for to forgive is to liberate self, but don't forget their names. There are some hurts that is not worth revisiting. Never forget this.

7. Remember to always look out for yourself. Most people by nature, are inherently selfish, and will not always look out for you. They will look out for their interest first, they will pursue their goals first, and at times, might be vicious in how they go about it. It is not that they are bad people, it is just the way people are wired. Remember, it is in your best interest to always look out for yourself.