This is Nigeria...Part 1

Welcome to Nigeria; where masking the truth for political correctness is an art form. Afterall, the truth is subjective and could be a figment of someone else's imagination. There is no point saying it as it is because that has never taken anyone far.

Welcome to Nigeria; where the ruling class reign supreme in their luxury-plated lives with only the social media pangs of their subjects to deal with. The ruling class are emblematic of our national treasure and we all must do everything within and outside our power to ensure they have no worries.

Welcome to Nigeria, where any slightest criticism on the government of the day is synonymous with hate speech, inciting the already heated polity and an affront to the great work of the 'powers that be.' The government of the day must be shielded from any from of public vitriolic. Instead, it behoove on us all to ensure there are adequate praise singers around them. The task of leadership is already a onerous one. There is no need to complicate it with your bastardised input.

Welcome to Nigeria, where everything is politics and politics is everything. In this turf, our human reasoning is shrouded with deep political linings. No one holds an opinion without picking sides. Whatever the content of our conversation, it is nuanced with political affiliations. Indeed, all thoughts are political.

Welcome to Nigeria, where the social contract between the people and the government is ill visited. The trust system is so solid that we find no need to review performance. Afterall, a scorecard assessment is a waste of time with so much more sacrosanct things to do. We will rather give politicians four more years to complete their eight year cycle. It is turn by turn. Everyone will eat. It is just important that we let those whose turn it is to eat have a full, balanced and holistic meal. Patience is key.

7 Life Lessons I Have Learnt From Driving

1. The Road is a leveller

It doesn't matter what you drive, the road is a leveller. Until flying cars become norm, the road remains our primary source of plying. All sorts of cars ply same road. The Ricketies, the Bugattis, the Ferrari all have to make do with same means of conveyance. Just like life, the 'road' happens to us all. It doesn't matter what you drive in life, it is about your contentment in what you drive.

2. You are the driver

It doesn't matter who you have in your car, you are the driver of your life. The driver is the final arbiter in the car. You decide the route, you insist on safety standards such as seat belt usage. Just like in life, you are making choices everyday irrespective of whether you realize it or not. You must always be a player not a victim. We make choices everyday irrespective of whether or not we are conscious of it.

3. There are some circumstances you can't help

One of the biggest lessons I have learnt while driving is that there are many circumstances that you can't control. One of the biggest is the spate of traffic. You can get mad all you want but there is little you can do in this circumstance. The key is to disassociate your happiness from these small stuffs and not put your joy in abeyance. Enjoy the journey. Don't sweat the small stuffs. Don't pull out your hair for situations you can't help. The journey is the destination.

4. Your safety is your responsibility

You can learn all you want about driving procedures and standards. However, once you are behind the steering, your safety is your responsibility and not in any driving handbook. In driving just like in life, you must look out for yourself. You will not always be the priority in the lives of your friends and family. It doesn't make them bad people. Everyone is looking out for himself. Look out for yourself.

5. Beware of short cuts

Short cuts will always be your Achilles heels - so said my driving instructor many years ago. Those are profound words. My experience has always been that you can get stuck in a short cut, and that they are often road traps once you decide to take them. Stay on the main road. Stay on the road you can get support and lighting. Short cuts can kill. In life, you must use the stairs and follow the process. Many of the elevators exalted in life today are facades.

6. Stay on your lane

One of the unwritten, yet mysterious rule of driving is that once you change lanes, your former lane gains traction. It often doesn't matter what lane you are while driving, it will surely move. Many times while driving, I have had the temptation to swap lanes from mine to the other I perceive as moving. Life has taught me that all lanes move, though at different paces and at different times. Ultimately, we all arrive.

7. Defensive driving is everything

The most pivotal learning in any driving school is the act of defensive driving. At the heart of this concept is that you can't vouch for the next man driving on the road, and it is safer to assume that every other road users are lunatics. It is not enough to drive safely, you must drive to protect yourself. Just like in life, guard your self and your sanity against external influence. People will be people, and you never fully know with people. Maintain awareness and drive your life, defensively.

The Lagos Danfo Bus: Our Collective Plight

The Lagos danfo bus, with its trademark yellow colour, is a microcosm of the Nigerian state in more ways than one. The danfo bus is probably as old as Lagos state itself. Every efforts by successive governments to rebrand the danfo bus has proved abortive. It is a brand that thrives in it resistance to change. It has survived the eras of BRT and the emergence of online taxi services such as Uber and Taxify (now Bolt).

The danfo bus is a leveller of classes. In it, there are the working class of all stratas. The suit peddlers working in air conditioned offices around Victoria Island with a paltry take home. There are the traders always on the go, hurling their crafts from place to place. There are the hustlers always on the move with lack of clarity on their destinations. They revere in being on the move and can easily transit crafts depending on the need. One minute they can 'pick' a phone from an inattentive passenger on the danfo bus, the next minute they can be a driver of one big madam, and the subsequent second, they can be running errand for one big man that lives in Lekki. Their trade is in the multiple, never mind them being Jack of it all.

The danfo bus is a circus of angry men and women, who can flare up in the face of the slightest provocation. Most of the faces are scarred by telling wrinkles that could only have been inflicted by sharing the same space with fellow Lagosians. There are the occasional faces crushed by injuries and cuts. This kind is usually the hallmarks of the danfo driver and his second in command, the conductor. This is their craft's badge and the banner of hustle that admits them into the Lagos danfo hall of fame.

The danfo bus is often a beehive of conversations but none thrives better than a discussion on the government of the day. Begin a conversation with 'This our government na wa o' and you are guaranteed to have other conversationalists, never mind if they are strangers. In the danfo bus, the collective struggle and national hardship unites everyone. The solidarity is palpable and in those fleeting moments before anyone arrives at his 'bus stop' they find camaraderie of some sorts. Yet, there is the presence of the occasional 'bundle of knowledge' in most danfo buses. Usually men, these ones are peddlers of half knowledge about various subjects. Their voices are loudest and their only moment in the sun arrives when they educate their fellow danfo travellers.

Like most things synonymous with Lagos, the danfo bus is a place to 'shine your eyes.' Whatever you do, never admit to any wrong doing. Whether it's tactfully fondling a lady's breast or admitting to have paid when you have not, never surrender your initial ground. To win your case, keep your voice at a high pitch. The use of gestures, curse words and reference to 'god' will also help sell your case. There is also the need to be vigilant. If you must sleep in the danfo bus, do it with your eyes wide open.

The danfo bus is an anathema of the Nigerian state, yet it is the kind we condone. It reminds us of our collective plight, and the fact that it has refused to evolve over time is an indicator that change is not a pliable and extant word with our national life.

When The Battle Chooses You

The surest way to get yourself into trouble is to insert yourself into a fight that doesn’t concern you. In many instances in life, we must turn a blind eye, allow sleeping dogs have a field day and simply find a glass of water while minding our business. Too many battles in life are simply not worth the trouble. Yet, this is half-truth.

They say, ‘pick your battles’ but that is premised upon the assumption that you have a choice. There are some battles that leaves you with no options. The kind that arrives uninvited, squared up for the fight, throws down the gauntlet, and draws first blood. Those are battles you can’t refuse. What do we do when the battle chooses us? When life reserves some of it’s biggest blows for us? What do we do when the battle arrives at our doorstep at an inconvenient time?

We must understand the nature of the battle that chooses us. It is only when we understand the nuances of the battle that we can effectively strategize on how to fight it. At times, this battle is life’s way of keeping us in check; of stopping us from getting too comfortable. This is not the kind of battle that your loved ones help you fight. Most times, the battle that chooses us squares up against us alone. If the battle is too big, we must fight through it with patience. We must take it one day at a time. When the battle chooses us, we will need to learn from it. There must be a lesson in it for us. There must be something life is trying to teach us through the battle. There is no point whining and cursing fate for the hand it has dealt to you. Life happens to everyone; and we all are fighting different battles.

Indeed, some battles choose some of its finest soldiers. This is not a time to lose your head. This is not a time to despair. This is not a time to give in. This is not a time to feel sorry for yourself. We must fight the battle that chooses us. We must be willing to be changed by the battle that chooses us. We must believe that with God, we can win the battle that chooses us.

15 Important Reminders for Your Darkest Moments of Self-Doubt

1. When your marriage, parenting, faith, etc. gets tough, it’s not a sign that you’re doing it wrong. These intimate, intricate aspects of life are toughest when you’re doing them right – when you’re dedicating time, having the tough conversations, and making daily sacrifices.

2. On particularly hard days when you feel that you can’t endure, remind yourself that your track record for getting through hard days is 100% so far.

3. Have a little faith that the universe has a plan for you, and it’s all being revealed in the right time frame. Something you will eventually learn through all your ups and downs is that there are really no wrong decisions in life, just choices that will take your life down different paths. Sometimes you must get hurt in order to grow, or lose in order to gain. Sometimes the lesson you need most can only be learned through a little pain.

4. Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.

5. Life is not about maintaining the status quo. Life is not about playing it safe every second. Life is not about standing still and wallowing in self-doubt. It’s about connecting with your soul, respecting your integrity, and telling yourself that you’re able. It’s about taking a few steps, regardless of how hard and small they may be, so you can move forward and evolve.

6. You must make a firm decision that you’re going to move forward. It won’t always happen naturally or automatically. Sometimes you will have to rise up and say, “I don’t care how hard this is. I don’t care how disappointed I am. I’m not going to let this get the best of me. I’m moving on with my life.”

7. No matter what’s happening, you CAN efficiently fight the battles of today. It’s only when you add the battles of those two relentless eternities, yesterday and tomorrow, that life gets overwhelmingly complicated. Realize that it’s not the experience of today by itself that devastates you, but the regret and resentment about something that happened yesterday or the fear and dread of what tomorrow might bring. It’s necessary, therefore, to let yourself live just one day at a time – just today – just right here, right now.

8. When you stop worrying about what you can’t control, you have time to change the things you can control. And that changes everything.

9. Don’t worry about mistakes and failures, worry about what you’re giving up when you don’t even try.

10. Making mistakes means you’re actually DOING something in the real world and learning from it. Listening or reading is often just listening or reading. It’s not real learning. Real learning comes from making mistakes. And mistakes come from gradual implementation.

11. If you never go after it again, you’ll never have it. If you never ask again, the answer will always be no. If you never step forward again, you’re stuck right where you are.

12. In the space between “I’ll try again” and “I give up” there’s a lifetime. It’s the difference between the path you walk and the one you leave behind; it’s the gap between who you are capable of being and who you have become; its the legroom for the fairy tales you’ll tell yourself in the future about what could have been.

13. Everyone has a little talent. What’s rare is the courage to follow it into the dark places where it leads, and beyond.

14. Courage doesn’t always roar; sometimes it’s simply a whisper at the end of the day that says, “I’ll try again tomorrow.”

15. If you’re still sitting there thinking, “Things should be different right now,” take a deep breath. That’s not true and you know it. Because if it were true, things would be different right now. Stay present and focus on what you can create today. And tomorrow will reveal itself exactly as it should, just as yesterday already has.

(MARCANDANGEL).

Obi Invictus And The Nigerian Dream (satire)

Remind me again, why is there so much hullabaloo about Obi Invictus and the FBI indictment of him for fraud running into 12 million dollars? Is he not supposed to be the poster boy of the Nigerian dream? Is he not supposed to be the media darling for whom there is no erring? Why are the streets of social media in a rush to pull this great young man down? The damning report from FBI Special Agent, Marshall Ward, must have been the contemplations of Obi’s detractors and sworn enemies. They must have sponsored the FBI malicious investigation to spite him, to cut him to size, to remind him that his ‘village people’ still have the mojo.

Obi is the model Nigerian entrepreneur. He built his Invictus Group company with grit, blood, hardwork and handy knowledge from his degree in Forensic Criminology.

Forget what you read, Obi Invictus is still your ‘Man Crush Monday (MCM).’ He hasn’t killed anyone. He was only trying to get by in a tough economy. When he made a quote that ‘Mindset is everything, be it in entrepreneurship or daily life,’ he was reminding us all that there is no holy grail that the mind cannot attain. He was also admonishing us to expand our mind to accommodate cybercrime, or how else will the big club owners’ make their fortune? Afterall, the ‘Bentleys’ will not drive themselves either. Those that say that Obi’s indictment will put a stain on our global image are all just waxing lyrical and making no sense. What image? Do we have one for starters?

Obi has aspired to inspire, then decided to conspire and now he has been forced to perspire in his new quagmire. He is at crossfire with the FBI, but this is not his fault. The Americans simply hate young astute black people that are doing well for themselves. Let it also be noted that it was the same Americans that poured encomiums on him on their Forbes ‘30’ list. Shame on you, America. Shame on you!

Say whatever you may, but Obi Invictus lived the Nigerian dream. The Nigerian dream is 'hustle.' For this dream, there is no template. The end often justifies the means, and whatever you do, be inspiring to validate your hustle. Suffix every social media post with 'God did it.' Afterall, the Nigerian god is ever willing to lavish us with sudden wealth or how else will he get our praises in this part? Obi is not a victim. Obi is what majority of young people in Nigeria aspire to. He will be fine. His ‘god’ will deliver him and put all his enemies to shame!

10 Things to Start Telling Yourself on Hard Days

1. Allow yourself to be a beginner. No one starts off being great. Do the best you can until you know better. Once you know better, do better.

2. Stop running away. Breathe. Be where you are. You’re where you’re supposed to be at this very moment. Every step and experience is necessary.

3. Use disappointment and frustration to motivate you rather than annoy you. Be mindful. You are in control of the way you respond to life.

4. You are not a product of your circumstances. You are a product of your decisions. It’s about deciding to NOT let your frustration or fear decide your future.

5. Don’t compare your progress with that of others. We all need our own time to travel our own distance. Focus on the step you are taking now, and make the best of it.

6. In a culture that seeks instant results, we must learn the beauty of effort, patience, and perseverance. Be strong, present, and steadfast. Stick to your positive daily rituals.

7. Patience is a genuine expression of confidence, acceptance, serenity, and faith in your own ability. It’s a sign of strength. Practice it.

8. As you face life’s inevitable obstacles, remember, it’s far better to be exhausted from lots of effort and learning, than to be tired of doing absolutely nothing.

9. Your struggle is part of your story. Being rejected from something you want often means you are being directed toward something you need…to take the next best step forward.

10. No life story is one chapter long. No chapter tells the whole tale. No mistake defines who you are. Keep turning the pages that need to be turned.

(MARCANDANGEL).