THANK YOU FOR 2015!

"Reflect upon your present blessings, of which every man has plenty; not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some." - Charles Dickens

As 2015 slowly but surely gives way to the New Year, it is only fitting to take out time and appreciate everyone that has made it a fantastic year. Only days ago, I sat down to count my blessings this year and I was pleasantly gobsmacked by how much mileage I was able to cover. Boy! It was truly a year of triumph! The storm came, life’s thorns were rife, people were people, but through it all, the story ended triumphantly.

Most deserving of the first and greatest mention is God Almighty. Of a truth, he has been so good to me. The grace of God is so innumerable. At times, I just feel like crying when I think of his goodness, mercy and grace. Believe what you may, but I really struggle to see how anyone will be able to make a day without God. He made 2015 a tale of the miraculous.

My family is indeed the next pillar and fortress for me this year. You know what they say, when all is said and done, family is everything. They are just always there when everyone else walks out. The support of family cannot be traded for anything.

I am also eternally grateful for the friends I kept and made in 2015. They were amazing and made the journey a worthwhile one. At times, our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person. Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us.

I reserve special gratitude for my teacher and life coach, Rev (Dr) Chris Oyakhilome. This man has been such a tremendous influence in my life. I love him more than he will ever begin to even conceive.

Penultimately, I thank you who are also reading this. Your followership, words of encouragement, expressions of gratitude, and eulogies have kept the fire in my pen. Thank you.

Finally, I implore you to be grateful for all that happened in 2015. It was Steve Maraboli who said “Forget yesterday--it has already forgotten you. Don't sweat tomorrow--you haven't even met. Instead, open your eyes and your heart to a truly precious gift--today. And be grateful" Irrespective of everything that might have happened, it was still a fabulous 2015, and for this we should all be grateful.

Thank you for a terrific year and wow, my mind boggles in anticipation of what 2016 holds!
Bring it on!!!

Shambles At The Bridge: An Unhappy Ending!

He shows up for work at Cobham training ground in defiant mood and by 14:00hrs, he was called into the office of Club chairman, Bruce Buck, who alongside Club director, Eugene Tenenbaumby told him his services were no longer required at Stamford Bridge. The meeting lasted for only 10 minutes. It’s a punishing job with short and vague memories. One moment you are the poster boy of the world, the other moment you are the bad guy who has lost his way. As the curtain falls on what will surely be the last departure of Jose Mourinho from Stamford Bridge, the narrative will remain a puzzling one. That a team that won the league and league cup at a canter few months ago will slump to such abysmal depths few months after is a tale that might never be fully understood, and truly one of football’s biggest fall.

Jose departs Chelsea as the greatest manager in the Club’s 110 years history. To capture it more succinctly, Thierry Henry described him as the man who put Chelsea on the map. But when the self-inquisition begins; he will tell himself the home truth that this was the toughest patch in his glamorous career and it was not meant to end this way. I have always maintained that if he survived the turbulent phase, it will make him a better manager, and most importantly, a better person. Sadly, he didn’t stay to see it happen. Pundits and arm-chair critics will pretend to have all the answers to Chelsea and Jose Mourinho’s deterioration when you read the back pages of newspapers but we might never fully get the entire picture. A plethora of reasons has been adduced. From Eva Carnerio’s saga earlier in the season, to Jose’s verbal vitriolics, to the players out-of-form spells. Whatever your opinion is, the problems at Chelsea was an accumulation of factors rather than a singular trouble.

As Jose Mourinho drove out of Fulham road for the final time, he has to agree that he was partly at fault for all that has happened to Chelsea this season. While he thrives on it, the conscious effort to always center the focus of attention on himself was always going to back-fire. Even the staunchest of Mourinho’s fans will agree that the impasse with Club doctor, Eva Carnerio in August was one he got wrong. The siege mentality he had created of ‘Us against the World’ was also one that was always going to implode at some point. Perhaps, the last straw that broke the camel’s back was his public criticisms of some of his players and to use the word ‘betrayal’ while referring to his players display in the aftermath of the Leicester City defeat was stretching blunt talking. When all is said and done, Jose did not make life easy for himself. He is a man with a massive ego and excessive pride. The assumption was that age, experience and the recent turmoil would have taught him some few lessons in humility but it is obvious Jose will remain Jose. So what next for Jose? He will surely not be unemployed for too long given his amazing track record but it must worry even him and the prospective employers at this point that he can’t seem to keep a job beyond 3 years.

Having said that, the entire Chelsea players have to take a hard look at themselves going forward. They have massively let the Club and Jose Mourinho down this season. From Cesc Fabregas, Diego Costa to Eden Hazard, Branislav Ivanovic and the likes, they have simply not been able to put in a good shift. It will say a lot of the players ‘trust’ for Jose Mourinho should they pull together a great run of games at this time. Say all you want about confidence, but with a paycheck of over 150,000 pounds, you will expect only a nuclear reaction to have shattered the players’ confidence this badly. Obviously, you can’t sack 22 players. Thus, Jose becomes the guinea pig. This Chelsea team has performed in sixth gear all season. In the final analysis, it is the players that have to go onto the pitch and deliver the goods. So far this season, they have been complete shambles, and that is for want of a milder word.

By his historical nature of short patience, one must agree that Chelsea owner, Roman Abramovich clearly gave the manager a lot of time to turn the story around. It is a no brainer that if it was another manager that was in charge through these murky waters, he would have since been showed the exit door. Jose Mourinho clearly lasted this long because he was Jose Mourinho and the prolonged love and support the fans have showed him week in, week out, was surely one that did not go un-noticed by Roman and the power brokers at the bridge. However, the tough job will be who inherits the seemingly ‘poisoned chalice’ now. A lot of names are currently being paraded in the media but only time will tell who becomes the new gaffer, in the interim and long term.

15 Things I learnt in 2015

1. The destination is in the journey
I have learnt that life is not all about aspiring to a certain future in the distant ‘tomorrow’. No. The destination is achieved in bits. It’s in the learning, the small steps, the stumbling and standing, the things we learn along the way. You must also take out time always to celebrate yourself and the strides you have made along the way. Success is indeed not a destination. It’s the milestones in the journey that makes a successful life.

2. Life gives everyman his own share of pain
As the cliché goes, everyone is fighting something. Life gives each man his own fair share of troubles, hurts and demons. No one is spared. Don’t let appearance or status delude you, we all have issues in our lives and we all have that one thing we struggle to tell anyone about. Some of us have just made a mastery of dealing with it diligently and astutely without finding sympathizers.

3. There is Power in Un-clarity
This year, I listened to one of my mentors (Obinna Anaba) deliver a profound speech at the TEDxOloboiri event. The speech was titled ‘The Power of Un-clarity’. It doesn’t do it justice to only rehash part of the speech here but space is a constraint. You can see the full thing on YouTube. However, the hallmark of the speech was: ‘Can un-clarity be good? I believe it can. My story suggests it can. My story is about not knowing where and what the end is going to be but pushing on anyway. My story is about the power of not waiting to find out; the power of one day at a time; the power to let it flow! It is about not allowing myths and stereotypes – those powerful roads well-traveled that sometimes present themselves as clarity and convention (or conventional knowledge), – to define what is possible!’

4. Not giving up doesn’t mean holding on when you’re wrong
When you know what you’re doing is right, but you’re not sure if you’re going to make it or want to give up because it’s too difficult, that’s the time to persevere. When you know you are wrong, but you want to hold on because you don’t want others to think of you as a quitter, it’s time to pivot.

5. The tussle with the next man is never personal
This year I learnt a great truth about dealing with people. You need to learn to stop taking things to heart. Everyone just wants to get by, and in a dog-eat-dog environment like ours, everyone wants to survive. When all is said and done, it is not personal; it rarely is. Understanding this will free you from the shackles of un-forgiveness.

6. It is okay to be vulnerable
You don’t always have it together. Nobody does. So it’s fine to feel vulnerable at times, to seek help when required, to lean on a shoulder when you are exhausted. See, even the pope needs some words of encouragement for himself. No one has it all figured out. So, stop hiding your vulnerabilities so others don’t judge you. The truly successful men of our days have mastered the act of calling for help when they are clueless. However, the caveat here is that you can’t be vulnerable before everyone because some might use it against you in their uncanny foolishness. Trust should be the watchword in expressing your vulnerability.

7. The Power of Appreciation
It’s a word rife with negativity; a world that is always falsely telling you that you are superior to the next man. A thankless world. This year, more than ever before, I have learnt to be grateful for everything. The little things, the big things and the sad things. Saying thank you is a priceless gesture and will do wonders for you. In simple terms, the next time someone makes a comment, before you shoot him down with your ‘all-knowing’ wisdom, acknowledge that it took some thinking and courage for him to voice that comment, and do well to appreciate that effort.

8. You don’t always have to have an opinion
At times in life, you don’t always have to air your opinion. You don’t always have to want to prove a point. There are times when accepting feedback and keeping your opinion to yourself saves you from today’s problems and tomorrow’s challenges.

9. Keep an open mind
Life has taught me that my way is not the only way, and to be fixated in my own viewpoint is to see the world from a shallow lens. You must understand that life’s biggest discoveries and inventions were stumbled upon with this mindset. You will go far in this thing called life if you keep an open mind to issues, places and people. A view from another vantage point might just make all the difference.

10. Don’t Let Others Judge You
This year, I watched a commencement speech delivered by Actor Ed Helms at the University of Virginia, and it formed one of my biggest lessons in 2015. He ended the speech thus: “As you go out in the world, you’ll find that people are always quick to define you, to pigeonhole you, to whittle you down to their preconceived notions—which brings me to my point: Never let others define you. Define yourselves.”

11. African writers’ rock!
And yes, this was a fundamental lesson that was reinforced in 2015. Having been a fan of the famous good old Chinua Achebe, Ngugui wa Thiong’o, Ayi kwei Armah amongst others; this year, I fell in love with the emerging pen pushers of today. From Eghosa Imasuen’s ‘Fine Boys’ to Sefi Atta’s ‘Everything Good will Come’ I found a deeper love for African Writers Series.


12. Don’t Stop Learning
Life has taught me to keep reaching, keep seeking, keep using my abilities to bring out the best in those around me, and let them bring out the best in me. You have to understand that no one is the finished article. We all are striving to acquire more knowledge and arm ourselves with requisite information. One of my mentors in a departure gift before he proceeded to an assignment in the Middle East this year left this words with me ‘Whatever you do, whatever you become, keep learning’. Nothing can be truer.

13. Travelling is a wonder
A friend of mine once told me: ‘Sam, if you must do one more thing in this life besides living for God, it is travelling the world’. This is clearly an outlandish thing to say, but the sense should not be lost in the exaggeration of the statement. This year, I ventured out, not entirely around the world, but to some cities around the world. I had some of my life greatest moments of inspiration and fun in travelling, seeing new places, learning new languages and just observing the world not as I see it only, but as ‘the rest’ sees it.

14. You are who you spend your time with, whether you like it or not.
You may think you have the will power and discipline to rise above the influence of your friends. You don’t. If you spend time with people who are in shape, you’ll be in shape. If you spend time with lazy people, you’ll be lazy. We all want to belong to a group and we do so by appearing similar to the group we want to belong to. Choose wisely who you spend your time with because it’s who you’ll become.

15. Grace can make all the difference.
All the fourteen lessons above will count for nothing without this. Work hard, give everyday a tremendous wag, take life lemons and make lemonade, pursue success with all you have got, it might still not be enough. With God’s grace in a man’s life, the barriers that will stand in the way are not yet born!

15 Things You Need to Stop Wasting Time On

1. Distractions that keep you from special moments with special people. – Pay attention to the little things, because when you really miss someone you miss the little things the most, like just laughing together. Go for long walks. Indulge in great conversations. Count your mutual blessings. Let go for a little while and just BE together.

2. Compulsive busyness. – Schedule time every day to not be busy. Have dedicated downtime – clear points in the day to reflect, rest, and recharge. Don’t fool yourself; you’re not so busy that you can’t afford a few minutes of sanity.

3. Negative thinking about your current situation. – Life is like a mirror; we get the best results when we smile. So talk about your blessings more than you talk about your problems. Just because you’re struggling doesn’t mean you’re failing. Every great success requires some type of worthy struggle to get there.

4. The needless drama around you. – Be wise enough to walk away from the nonsense around you. Focus on the positives, and soon the negatives will be harder to see.

5. The desire for everything you don’t have. – No, you won’t always get exactly what you want, but remember this: There are lots of people who will never have what you have right now. The things you take for granted, someone else is praying for. Happiness never comes to those who don’t appreciate what they already have.

6. Comparing yourself to everyone else. – Social comparison is the thief of happiness. You could spend a lifetime worrying about what others have, but it wouldn’t get you anything.

7. Thinking about who you were or what you had in the past. – You’re not the same person you were a year ago, a month ago, or a week ago. You’re always growing. Experiences don’t stop. That’s life.

8. Worrying about the mistakes you’ve made. – It’s OK if you mess up; that’s how you get wiser. Give yourself a break. Don’t give up. Great things take time, and you’re getting there. Let your mistakes be your motivation, not your excuses. Decide right now that negative experiences from your past won’t predict your future.

9. Worrying about what everyone thinks and says about you. – Don’t take things too personally, even if it seems personal. Rarely do people do things because of you; they do things because of them. You honestly can’t change how people treat you or what they say about you. All you can do is change how you react and who you choose to be around.

10. Self-deception. – Your life will improve only when you take small chances. And the first and most difficult chance you can take is to be honest with yourself.

11. A life path that doesn’t feel right. – Life is to be enjoyed, not endured. When you truly believe in what you’re doing, it shows, and it pays. Success in life is for those who are excited about where they are going. It’s about walking comfortably in your own shoes, in the direction of YOUR dreams.

12. Everyone else’s definition of success and happiness. – You simply can’t base your idea of success and happiness on other people’s opinions and expectations.

13. Those who insist on using and manipulating you. – What you allow is what will continue. Give as much as you can, but don’t allow yourself to be used. Listen to others closely, but don’t lose your own voice in the process.

14. Trying to impress everyone. – One of the most freeing things we learn in life is that we don’t have to like everyone, everyone doesn’t have to like us, and that’s perfectly OK. No matter how you live, someone will be disappointed. So just live your truth and be sure YOU aren’t the one who is disappointed in the end.

15. All the fears holding you back. – Fear is a feeling, not a fact. The best way to gain strength and self-confidence is to do what you’re afraid to do. Dare to change and grow. In the end, there is only one thing that makes a dream completely impossible to achieve: Lack of action based on the fear of failure.

(MARCANDANGEL).

15 Things We Forget To Say “Thank You” For

1. “Thank you for life’s surprises.” – Notice and cherish life’s surprises. Just because it’s not what you were expecting, doesn’t mean it’s not everything you’ve been waiting for. So take a deep breath when you’re rejected from something good. It often means you’re being redirected to something better. Be patient. Be positive. Keep going.

2. “Thank you for the truth I deal with every day.” – Too many of us prefer gentle lies to hard truths. But make no mistake, in the end it’s better to be hurt by the truth than comforted by a lie. And beware of half-truths too – you may have gotten ahold of the wrong half. Open your eyes. You must see things how they are instead of how you hoped, wished or expected them to be. Sometimes it’s hard to accept the truth when the lies were exactly what you wanted to know, but be strong. Life is too short to live a lie.

3. “Thank you for the tough times that taught me important lessons.” – God allows you to experience the low points of life in order to teach you lessons that you could learn no other way.

4. “Thank you for the challenges I must overcome today.” – The brick walls in life are there for a reason. They are not there to keep you out. They are there to give you a chance to show how badly you want something. Because the brick walls are there to stop the people who don’t want it as badly as you do. They are there to stop the other people. There is absolutely nothing about your present circumstances that prevents you from making progress, one step at a time.

5. “Thank you for giving me the courage to continue.” – Courage isn’t having the strength to go on; it’s going on even when you don’t have strength. And remember, it does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop.

6. “Thank you for giving me the strength to smile.” – Anyone can be happy sometimes. It takes a human being with real heart to make beauty out of the stuff that naturally makes us weep.

7. “Thank you for the beauty that remains.” – Even when times are really tough, don’t think of all the misery, but of the beauty that still remains.

8. “Thank you for this new beginning I’m living now.” – The best way to prepare for the future is to take care of the present. Goodbyes will always hurt a little. Photographs can never replace the act of being there. Memories, good and bad, will sometimes bring tears. And words can never perfectly describe the feelings they represent. But that’s OK. Pain is real. But so is hope. You have to make peace with your past in order to keep your present and future from becoming hopeless battles.

9. “Thank you for all the choices I have.” – A big part of your life is a result of the little choices you make every day. If you don’t like some part of your life, it’s time to start tweaking things and making better choices, right now, right where you are.

10. “Thank you for my bravery.” – Whenever you’re scared but you still do it anyway, that’s brave.

11. “Thank you for my inner greatness.” – Contrary to what others may say, you do not need to rise to the top, or be the cream of the crop, before you can feel great about yourself. For you are not a failure because you’re not perfect, got rejected or laid off, struggle to make ends meet, or have a family with issues. You are great because, despite your circumstances, you keep loving, you keep getting back up after every fall, and, above all, the little steps you keep taking, you take with grace.

12. “Thank you for the burning desires inside me.” – The starting point of all success is DESIRE. Keep this in mind always. Weak desire brings weak results, just as a small fire creates a small amount of heat. Never give up on something that you can’t go a day without thinking about. When you truly believe in what you’re doing, it shows, and it pays. Success in life is for those who are excited about where they’re going.

13. “Thank you for my intuition and instincts.” – Take constructive criticism seriously, but not personally. Listen, and then operate with your own intuition and wisdom as your guide.

14. “Thank you for my imagination and creativity.” – Imagination and creativity are everything. Together, they draw the preview of your life’s coming attractions. And there are people in nearly every career field who make each day a work of art simply by the way they have mastered their craft. In other words, almost everyone is an artist in some way.

15. “Thank you for the chance to grow.” – You must be willing to give up what you are in order to become what you will be.

(MARCANDANGEL)

5 Easy Ways to Uncomplicate Your Thoughts

1. Question your stories.

You know what they say, don’t believe everything you hear nor everything you read. Don’t believe the gossip columns in the magazine, the doom and gloom predictions from your co-workers, or the “shocking news” that you hear on TV … until you have verified it.

Well, the same concept applies to your inside world – your thoughts.

We all have stories about ourselves even if we don’t think of them as stories. Case in point: How often do you pause and logically contemplate what you really think about your relationships, your habits, or your challenges? How often, on the other hand, do you just blurt out whatever fleeting emotion comes to mind first – i.e., the pre-recorded story you’ve been holding on to – without even thinking?

Stories can be short, such as “I’m not a good writer,” “I’m not good at work,” or “I have intrinsic procrastination problems.” If we were to dig deeper, you’d be happy to go on and try to explain why that is the case.

So the uncluttering exercise here is to question your story. For instance, let’s take the writer example. Ask yourself: Why do I think I am not a good writer? What would it look like to be a good writer? Can I describe my current writing in a way that serves me better?

You will be surprised how often the questioning process helps you emerge with a much better and more accurate version of your story. Give it a try!

2. Prove the power of affirmations to yourself.

You may have heard of positive affirmations. They are statements in the affirmative implying something is already so, such as:

I am a good writer.
I am a talented person.
I am a kind loving person.
Now let’s be honest. When you are feeling frustrated or unhappy, do you really feel like saying a positive affirmation and, more importantly, believing it? Um… probably not, so how do we outsmart our own negative side? By disarming what we call “blurts.”

Blurts are the rotten terrible things that your subconscious mind spews out at you every chance it gets. The idea is to leverage these inner demons by forming an inner dialogue with them that helps you get past your mental clutter and negativity.

Here’s a fun way to think about it: Remember in the old cartoons, they had a demon on one of the character’s shoulders and an angel on the other? Well your blurts are the demon and your affirmations are the angel. Now just play the part of YOU.

Let’s start with a blurt that is running in your mind: “I am going to be alone forever.”

Your affirmation rebukes that with, “Actually, I am going to find the right person to share my life with.”

Now your blurt will come back with: “Oh yeah, and when is that going to happen, 50 years from now?”

To which you say, “I’m not sure, but I feel confident that the right person will find me.”

“Well, what makes you so confident?” says the blurt again.

“Because I am a wonderful, loving person and have a lot to offer,” says the affirmation.

To which your blurt responds, “Oh really? Well, why hasn’t’ it happened already if you’re so great?”

And you reply with, “Well, everything in life comes at the right time.”

You may be chuckling, but I promise you this much, if you just commit to doing this (and it may help to actually write it out) you will be engaged in your own inner thoughts as you are “cleaning house,” and you will understand yourself and the root of your negativity far more deeply.

That is when you start to master peace over chaos in your mind – the beginnings of that internal simplicity.

3. Run your thoughts through three key filters.

Sometimes you are in a hurry, and not having a great day to boot. On days like this, there’s a mental decluttering exercise I use that’s super quick and keeps you in check…

I’ve been in arguments with my husband in the past and one of the things I regret is not filtering my words before saying them. At the time, I did not have the right tools, except “Be nice!”, which does nothing for you when you are feeling the opposite of nice. Some years later, I ran across this simple trick and it helped me shift my behavior. Here’s how it works:

Before you utter anything, run your thoughts through three key filters and don’t speak unless you get three resounding YES responses:

Is it true?
Is it kind?
Is it helpful?
For example, let’s say a running thought in your head says that your partner doesn’t care about you, and you are about to shout those words out because he or she didn’t do the last chore you requested. Question that thought first: Is it true that my partner doesn’t care about me? Is it kind for me to say or think this? Is it helpful for me to say or think this?

Remember you can’t take your words back. What’s more, you will never regret behaving in a true, kind and helpful way down the road. So get in the habit of applying your three key filters.

4. Treat yourself the way you would treat your best friend.

We’ve all heard the expression “Treat others as you would treat yourself,” but do you see the irony of it? As I grew older, and became more aware of my thoughts and stories, I realized that I hardly ever treat others as I treat myself. I actually treat others much nicer, much kinder and way better all around. Yet I manage to treat myself with so much anger, harshness and impatience, and I know I’m not the only one.

When was the last time you said something loving to yourself? When was the last time you held your own hand and hugged yourself just for trying?

Poor self-treatment has become an epidemic, often confused with self-discipline and the drive for success, and it is hurting us far more than it’s helping.

Here’s the truth: You can be both driven and kind, self-disciplined and gentle, successful and happy.

The mental decluttering exercise here is to turn around the statement: Treat yourself the way you treat someone you love. Pick a beloved person or a best friend. How do you treat them? Are you kind, thoughtful, generous, forgiving, and compassionate with them? Now do the same for yourself. After all, are you not worthy of the same treatment, if not better? Of course you are!

5. Simplify, simplify, and then simplify some more.

The easiest yet most challenging decluttering exercise is to think from a place of simplifying. When you have no idea how to tackle the mental clutter, the troubling thoughts or just the general sense of overwhelm, step back and ask:

How do I simplify this situation?
What can I let go of without losing a thing?
Come up with at least one creative way to simplify, to take away the complexity, to make your situation easier. Maybe you take a five-minute break and come back to the problem. Maybe you let go of one unnecessary obligation. Maybe you eliminate distractions for a set time frame. Or maybe you simply decide that, for now, you will accept it the way it is and not fuss over it.

Just remember that these two questions apply to all situations and they give you the space and permission to take a step back and decide on the next best course of action.

Afterthoughts

Trust yourself in this process of simplifying. Your nature does not consist of complication and overwhelm. Your negative thoughts are not true, but they are real in your mind and questioning them helps you overcome these ingrained self-sabotaging beliefs.

At your core, you will find your essence on this journey. Your nature is peace, simplicity and love. You may be far removed from that state now but you are just getting back to where you really belong, so stay with the right questions and the right answers will gradually show up.

It’s all about uncomplicating your life, one thought at a time.

(MARCANDANGEL).

5 Things to Remember When You’re Stuck and Desperate for a Change

1. Meaningful daily reminders make growth and positive change easier.

You can post meaningful quotes on your bedroom wall, or find a coffee, a mug that has a motivational message on it (It could read “Every Day a Miracle is Born”). But you can also take it a step further than that too.

Few good things come easy, and when the going gets tough we often take the easy way out – even though the easy way takes us the wrong way.

Think of moments when you are most likely to give in to impulses that keep you stuck and take you farther away from your ultimate goals. Then use visual reminders of those goals to interrupt the impulse and rebuild the momentum that keeps you on the right track.

2. The space between the things you do is just as important as the things you do.

Pausing for a brief second to end the chaos and busyness can save your life by winning you back precious time and peace of mind. Pausing can also provide you with a break in the habitual action, so you can begin again in a new direction when needed. But you have to leave enough space in your schedule to do so.

It’s tempting to fill in every waking minute of the day with busyness. Don’t do this to yourself. Leave space.

Leave a little space between every one of your commitments. Take a break to breathe and meditate, take a short walk outside, drink a glass of water, or perhaps do some simple deep stretching exercises. Appreciate the space, and just be.

Your ultimate goal is living a life uncluttered by most of the distractions people fill their lives with, leaving you with space for what truly matters. A life that isn’t constant busyness, rushing, and resistance, but instead mindful contemplation, creation and connection with people and projects you truly love.

3. Journaling is a priceless tool for self-reflection and self-improvement.

J.K. Rowling keeps a journal. Eminem keeps a journal. Oprah keeps a journal.

Successful people – those who consistently make positive changes in their life – track their progress, set goals, reflect, and learn from their mistakes. And they often use some kind of journal to accomplish this.

If you want to get somewhere in life, you need a map, and your journal is that map. You can write down what you did today, what you tried to accomplish, where you made mistakes, and so forth. It’s a place to reflect. It’s a place to capture important thoughts. It’s a place to be able to track where you’ve been and where you intend to go. It’s one of the most underused, yet incredibly effective tools available to the masses.

Set aside 15 minutes a day to think and write.

To this day, I still journal almost every morning. And reviewing my notes at the end of the day/week/month always helps me feel positive about all the opportunities still out there for me to explore and achieve.

4. The wrong relationships pull you back – the right ones push you forward.

When you’re moving through a sizeable life transition, it’s important to have close family and friends around you that can offer their support and understanding. There’s no room for needless negativity. It’s like the transition phase in labor – that last phase before a woman gives birth to a new life. She can’t possibly stop to take on other people’s problems or feel guilty about not returning text messages. She needs to protect her thoughts, her time, and her energy.

This same principle applies to you. If you find that you have a toxic, draining relationship that’s constantly bringing you down and keeping you stuck, let them go for a while. They may not be an inherently bad person, but they’re not the right person to be spending time with every day.

Remember, not all toxic relationships are agonizing and uncaring on purpose. Some of them involve people who care about you – people who have good intentions, but are toxic because their needs and way of existing in the world force you to compromise yourself and your happiness. And as hard as it is, we have to distance ourselves enough to give ourselves space to live.

You simply can’t ruin yourself on a daily basis for the sake of someone else. You have to make your well-being a priority. Whether that means spending less time with someone, loving a family member from a distance, letting go entirely, or temporarily removing yourself from a situation that feels painful – you have every right to leave and create some healthy space for yourself.

5. Taking consistent and realistic action every day sets you free.

All details aside, when it comes to making a substantial change in your life – earning a new degree, building a new business, fostering a new relationship, starting a family, becoming more mindful, or any other personal journey that takes time and commitment – one thing you have to ask yourself is:

“Am I willing to spend a little time every day like many people won’t, so I can spend the better part of my life like many people can’t?”

Think about it. We ultimately become what we repeatedly do. The acquisition of knowledge doesn’t mean you’re growing – growing happens when what you know changes how you live.

And remember that this change doesn’t happen all at once. It happens just one small step at a time. When it comes to making changes, less is more.

(MARCANDANGEL).