Short Story: Smidgen of Hope

It was a smidgen of hope. The type that flickers with false wonder and melts away like the wax of a ferociously burning candle. Nkem thought he had seen the sign when he first met Amara. It was a meeting scripted by the sleight of hand. It was something more mysterious than love at first sight. It almost felt like he was hypnotized the first time he met Amara, the type you call sweet obsession. But even life plays pranks with our emotions and seamlessly toils with our feelings.

Amara had just walked out on him after what can only pass as a proper dress down of his life. She was not one to suffer fools gladly and after seeing the signs in his inability to keep up with paying monthly for her inexpensive hair cream, she proactively heeded to the red lights and halted the relationship. Amara had the kind of demeanor that endears. Her teasing eyes and meandering fingers will mistake her as a flirt, but she held a powerful spell in the intricacies of her soul. She had a golden heart, the type that hates to see people in pain, massive or mild. The type that will give up its last 500 naira, and rather starve all day than see a friend suffer. However, times have changed, and Amara, now conditioned by the crassness of society and the sullen economic sufferings that came with it, had now grown thick skin and fresh eyes. A rich man has now become the new objective.

As the reality of his new life settled into his heart, Nkem cursed everything his mind could conjure. He blamed the government of the day for making him economically impotent. He cursed his parents for giving him one hell of a path to follow. He blamed nature for planting him in this herculean dungeon called Nigeria. Nkem was lost in the leech of his thoughts. He was browbeaten by all that was happening around him. As he sat on the ailing tree just outside his parents’ house, he contemplated the future with Amara that was now an illusion. However, he allowed himself the euphoria to reel in this imagination. For if he could not get Amara in the real world, at least she will not deny him the pleasure of making out with her in his mind. He was on the verge of reaching climax when Emeka, his younger brother called 'Uncle Nkem, daddy is calling you.'

20 Quotes to Help You Follow Your Passion

1. The heart of human excellence often begins to beat when you discover a pursuit that absorbs you, frees you, challenges you, and gives you a sense of meaning, joy and passion.
2. I have found that one thing that helps me to live peacefully and mindfully on this glorious planet is successful engagement in meaningful work, keeping my mind where my hands are.
3. Your work is to discover your work and then, with all your heart, to give yourself to it.
4. A writer writes. If you want to be a writer, write. This concept can be universally applied.
5. Everything worthwhile in life is work. But if it puts a smile on your face, it doesn’t feel like work.
6. Hard work becomes easy when your work becomes your play. Never underestimate the value of loving what you do. Read The 4-Hour Workweek.
7. Continue to work hard at what you love no matter what the odds are. Eventually, someone will praise and appreciate what you do.
8. It’s not how much money you make that ultimately makes you happy. It’s whether or not your work fulfills you.
9. The best feeling in the world is getting paid to do what you love.
10. Don’t be normal. Sadly, normal is getting dressed in clothes that you buy for work and driving through traffic in a car that you financed, in order to get to the job that you don’t really like, but that you need, to pay for the clothes and the car, and the house you leave vacant all day so you can afford to live in it.
11. Often people attempt to live their lives backwards. They try to acquire more things, or more money, in order to do more of what they want, so they will be happier. The way it actually works is the reverse. You must first be who you really are, then do what you need to do, in order to have what you want.
12. The secret to success regardless of your passion is no secret. Just work hard and add real value to people’s lives.
13. When we focus on leading a passionate, meaningful life, we are also inadvertently creating a spectacular ripple effect of inspiration in the lives around us. When one person follows a dream, tries something new, or takes a daring leap, everyone nearby feels their passionate energy; and before too long, they are making their own daring leaps while simultaneously inspiring others.
14. Be the kind of person others admire, can count on, trust, and enjoy spending time with. After you have developed that reputation, people will start to ask you what you do, and you will be amazed at how many people will want to work with you on the things that matter to you.
15. Never make up excuses, because excuses are lies confirming that you are not being true to your heart. And don’t look for shortcuts in life either, because if you do you are only fooling yourself. Simplify your life, work toward your goals, show respect and be true to yourself and others. There is only one ‘you;’ reinvent the very best of ‘you’ every chance you get.
16. There is no passion to be found in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living
17. Purpose is the reason you journey. Passion is the fire that lights your way.
18. Only passions, great passions, can elevate the soul to great things.
19. If you cannot put your heart in it, take yourself out of it.
20. Neglecting passion blocks creative flow. When you’re passionate, you’re energized. Likewise, when you lack passion, your energy is low and unproductive. Energy is everything when it comes to being successful.

(MARCANDANGEL).

20 Ways to Get to End of the Year Without Regrets

1. Be right where you are. Happiness is letting go of what you think your life is supposed to look like right now and appreciating it for everything that it is.
2. Consider how incredibly fortunate you are to be here in this moment. Then get going and make the very best out of that good fortune.
3. Tell yourself, “I am ENOUGH!” anytime you begin to feel like you aren’t. What you do in life ultimately comes out of who you believe you are. In other words, it’s not what you say to everyone else that determines your life; it’s what you whisper to yourself that has the greatest power.
4. Whatever you do, do it with love and passion, with full attention and awareness. Be present and put all you have into even the smallest of acts.
5. Avoid sinking into the comfortable mediocrity of doing nothing (which is always the easiest option). Challenge yourself to live with the passion and richness you deserve.
6. Say “no” to good things when you must, so you are able to say “yes” to important things. We can’t do it all. Be mindful and choose wisely.
7. Again and again, remind yourself why. With a strong enough reason why, you’ll be able to do what’s required at any time and in any circumstance.
8. Doubt your doubts before you doubt your faith. How disappointed would you be to get to the end of your life and discover you were made to enjoy life while all you did was doubt it?
9. Stop being afraid of what could go wrong and start thinking about what could go right. Remember, even the wrong choices can bring us to the right places. When you fail to get what you want, consider that it just might be a blessing in disguise.
10. Stop focusing on how inconvenient life is, and start focusing on something positive you can do in response.
11. Give yourself some extra space. Take a deep breath when you need one. Sometimes you need to distance yourself for a while to see things clearly again. Don’t make a permanent decision for your temporary emotion.
12. Be mindful. Stress comes from the way you react, not the way life is. Adjust your attitude and the stress is gone. You control the way you look at life. Right this moment, your thoughts are setting the direction for your day. Choose thoughts that lead to the day you most desire to live today.
13. Let things be less than perfect. Do not dwell so much on creating your perfect life that you forget to live a great one.
14. As much as feasibly possible, enjoy yourself every step of the way. It’s not selfish to enjoy life. What’s selfish is to insist on being negative despite all the positive possibilities available to you.
15. Set an example. Treat everyone with kindness and respect, even those who are rude to you – not because they are nice, but because you are. In other words, don’t be lazy and make judgments about people. Be kind. Ask about their stories. Listen. Be humble. Be open. Be teachable. Be a good neighbor.
16. Pay attention to people’s actions. People may not always tell you how they feel about you, but they will always show you.
17. Spend a lot more time with those who make you smile and a lot less time with those who you feel pressured to impress.
18. Walk away from drama gracefully. Wherever there’s lots of drama, there’s usually lots of lying and manipulation.
19. Simplify wherever and whenever possible. Clear the clutter in your physical and mental space. Instead of figuring out how to make ends meet, work on having fewer ends.
20. If all else fails, the best advice I’ve found is still just to “sleep on it.” Everything changes in the morning.

(MARCANDANGEL)

Take Ownership Of Your Year

As is customary, a new year is ushered in with renewed zeal and uncommon enthusiasm. For many, an opportunity of a new beginning, for some, a chance to consolidate on the feats of the preceding year. However, in the final analysis and as far as day and night theory go, there is really no difference between December 31st and January 1st. The only smidgen is in what the calendar suggest. A new year.

Whatever your propositions for the new year is, there is a need to start early. Life has dealt to everyman equal measure of time and what each man does with his is entirely his prerogative. What might not be entirely up to him is the consequence of his actions. Starting early means turning those earmarked plans and resolutions you have written down to granular every day to-do list. in addition, there is the need to also learn from the past. It is a cliché but one laden with truth, that what got you here might not take you to the next level. Look at the past, review the past three years, seek a pattern of actions you have been taking that have not yielded desired result and alter the dynamics. Try something new. Realise that part of trying something new might be throwing caution to the wind and drowning those familiar voices of conservatism. Remember, nothing ventured, nothing gained. You have to buy the ticket to win the lottery. This is what it means to take ownership of your life.

Something you must remind yourself upon the dawn of everyday is that your life is slowly but surely ebbing away and you have to make it count. You only live once. This is a call to review your habits, friends, network, dreams and ask yourself if you are settling for less or giving this life a big wag. More than ever before, it is a time of inquisition. You must tell yourself the home truth and be sincere enough to make a call. When all is said and done, it's your life. Minutes quickly become hours, hours into days and days into weeks. Weeks metamorphosis to months and before you can say Jack Robinson, you have a year. It is quicker than you think and it is with this sense of urgency that you have to chase your dreams like never before.

And then, there will be the inevitable. Brace yourself for it. No matter how you painstakingly orchestrate your year on paper, life will happen. There will be blockers on the way. People will throw trash at you, doors will slam closed before your face, some of your plans will crumble like a pack of cards, there are nights you will wonder if all the hustle is worth it. When those moments come, remember why you started. Remember your dream. Let perseverance be your engine and hope your fuel. Find strength from the prospect of your goal. Find strength from friends who have walked same path and survived. Find strength from God. Make no mistakes about it, it is not going to easy. If it was, there will be no struggles in life. In the words of Hark Markham, “And once the storm is over, you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm, you won’t be the same person who walked in. That’s what this storm’s all about.”

Happy New Year!

THANK YOU FOR 2015!

"Reflect upon your present blessings, of which every man has plenty; not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some." - Charles Dickens

As 2015 slowly but surely gives way to the New Year, it is only fitting to take out time and appreciate everyone that has made it a fantastic year. Only days ago, I sat down to count my blessings this year and I was pleasantly gobsmacked by how much mileage I was able to cover. Boy! It was truly a year of triumph! The storm came, life’s thorns were rife, people were people, but through it all, the story ended triumphantly.

Most deserving of the first and greatest mention is God Almighty. Of a truth, he has been so good to me. The grace of God is so innumerable. At times, I just feel like crying when I think of his goodness, mercy and grace. Believe what you may, but I really struggle to see how anyone will be able to make a day without God. He made 2015 a tale of the miraculous.

My family is indeed the next pillar and fortress for me this year. You know what they say, when all is said and done, family is everything. They are just always there when everyone else walks out. The support of family cannot be traded for anything.

I am also eternally grateful for the friends I kept and made in 2015. They were amazing and made the journey a worthwhile one. At times, our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person. Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us.

I reserve special gratitude for my teacher and life coach, Rev (Dr) Chris Oyakhilome. This man has been such a tremendous influence in my life. I love him more than he will ever begin to even conceive.

Penultimately, I thank you who are also reading this. Your followership, words of encouragement, expressions of gratitude, and eulogies have kept the fire in my pen. Thank you.

Finally, I implore you to be grateful for all that happened in 2015. It was Steve Maraboli who said “Forget yesterday--it has already forgotten you. Don't sweat tomorrow--you haven't even met. Instead, open your eyes and your heart to a truly precious gift--today. And be grateful" Irrespective of everything that might have happened, it was still a fabulous 2015, and for this we should all be grateful.

Thank you for a terrific year and wow, my mind boggles in anticipation of what 2016 holds!
Bring it on!!!

Shambles At The Bridge: An Unhappy Ending!

He shows up for work at Cobham training ground in defiant mood and by 14:00hrs, he was called into the office of Club chairman, Bruce Buck, who alongside Club director, Eugene Tenenbaumby told him his services were no longer required at Stamford Bridge. The meeting lasted for only 10 minutes. It’s a punishing job with short and vague memories. One moment you are the poster boy of the world, the other moment you are the bad guy who has lost his way. As the curtain falls on what will surely be the last departure of Jose Mourinho from Stamford Bridge, the narrative will remain a puzzling one. That a team that won the league and league cup at a canter few months ago will slump to such abysmal depths few months after is a tale that might never be fully understood, and truly one of football’s biggest fall.

Jose departs Chelsea as the greatest manager in the Club’s 110 years history. To capture it more succinctly, Thierry Henry described him as the man who put Chelsea on the map. But when the self-inquisition begins; he will tell himself the home truth that this was the toughest patch in his glamorous career and it was not meant to end this way. I have always maintained that if he survived the turbulent phase, it will make him a better manager, and most importantly, a better person. Sadly, he didn’t stay to see it happen. Pundits and arm-chair critics will pretend to have all the answers to Chelsea and Jose Mourinho’s deterioration when you read the back pages of newspapers but we might never fully get the entire picture. A plethora of reasons has been adduced. From Eva Carnerio’s saga earlier in the season, to Jose’s verbal vitriolics, to the players out-of-form spells. Whatever your opinion is, the problems at Chelsea was an accumulation of factors rather than a singular trouble.

As Jose Mourinho drove out of Fulham road for the final time, he has to agree that he was partly at fault for all that has happened to Chelsea this season. While he thrives on it, the conscious effort to always center the focus of attention on himself was always going to back-fire. Even the staunchest of Mourinho’s fans will agree that the impasse with Club doctor, Eva Carnerio in August was one he got wrong. The siege mentality he had created of ‘Us against the World’ was also one that was always going to implode at some point. Perhaps, the last straw that broke the camel’s back was his public criticisms of some of his players and to use the word ‘betrayal’ while referring to his players display in the aftermath of the Leicester City defeat was stretching blunt talking. When all is said and done, Jose did not make life easy for himself. He is a man with a massive ego and excessive pride. The assumption was that age, experience and the recent turmoil would have taught him some few lessons in humility but it is obvious Jose will remain Jose. So what next for Jose? He will surely not be unemployed for too long given his amazing track record but it must worry even him and the prospective employers at this point that he can’t seem to keep a job beyond 3 years.

Having said that, the entire Chelsea players have to take a hard look at themselves going forward. They have massively let the Club and Jose Mourinho down this season. From Cesc Fabregas, Diego Costa to Eden Hazard, Branislav Ivanovic and the likes, they have simply not been able to put in a good shift. It will say a lot of the players ‘trust’ for Jose Mourinho should they pull together a great run of games at this time. Say all you want about confidence, but with a paycheck of over 150,000 pounds, you will expect only a nuclear reaction to have shattered the players’ confidence this badly. Obviously, you can’t sack 22 players. Thus, Jose becomes the guinea pig. This Chelsea team has performed in sixth gear all season. In the final analysis, it is the players that have to go onto the pitch and deliver the goods. So far this season, they have been complete shambles, and that is for want of a milder word.

By his historical nature of short patience, one must agree that Chelsea owner, Roman Abramovich clearly gave the manager a lot of time to turn the story around. It is a no brainer that if it was another manager that was in charge through these murky waters, he would have since been showed the exit door. Jose Mourinho clearly lasted this long because he was Jose Mourinho and the prolonged love and support the fans have showed him week in, week out, was surely one that did not go un-noticed by Roman and the power brokers at the bridge. However, the tough job will be who inherits the seemingly ‘poisoned chalice’ now. A lot of names are currently being paraded in the media but only time will tell who becomes the new gaffer, in the interim and long term.

15 Things I learnt in 2015

1. The destination is in the journey
I have learnt that life is not all about aspiring to a certain future in the distant ‘tomorrow’. No. The destination is achieved in bits. It’s in the learning, the small steps, the stumbling and standing, the things we learn along the way. You must also take out time always to celebrate yourself and the strides you have made along the way. Success is indeed not a destination. It’s the milestones in the journey that makes a successful life.

2. Life gives everyman his own share of pain
As the cliché goes, everyone is fighting something. Life gives each man his own fair share of troubles, hurts and demons. No one is spared. Don’t let appearance or status delude you, we all have issues in our lives and we all have that one thing we struggle to tell anyone about. Some of us have just made a mastery of dealing with it diligently and astutely without finding sympathizers.

3. There is Power in Un-clarity
This year, I listened to one of my mentors (Obinna Anaba) deliver a profound speech at the TEDxOloboiri event. The speech was titled ‘The Power of Un-clarity’. It doesn’t do it justice to only rehash part of the speech here but space is a constraint. You can see the full thing on YouTube. However, the hallmark of the speech was: ‘Can un-clarity be good? I believe it can. My story suggests it can. My story is about not knowing where and what the end is going to be but pushing on anyway. My story is about the power of not waiting to find out; the power of one day at a time; the power to let it flow! It is about not allowing myths and stereotypes – those powerful roads well-traveled that sometimes present themselves as clarity and convention (or conventional knowledge), – to define what is possible!’

4. Not giving up doesn’t mean holding on when you’re wrong
When you know what you’re doing is right, but you’re not sure if you’re going to make it or want to give up because it’s too difficult, that’s the time to persevere. When you know you are wrong, but you want to hold on because you don’t want others to think of you as a quitter, it’s time to pivot.

5. The tussle with the next man is never personal
This year I learnt a great truth about dealing with people. You need to learn to stop taking things to heart. Everyone just wants to get by, and in a dog-eat-dog environment like ours, everyone wants to survive. When all is said and done, it is not personal; it rarely is. Understanding this will free you from the shackles of un-forgiveness.

6. It is okay to be vulnerable
You don’t always have it together. Nobody does. So it’s fine to feel vulnerable at times, to seek help when required, to lean on a shoulder when you are exhausted. See, even the pope needs some words of encouragement for himself. No one has it all figured out. So, stop hiding your vulnerabilities so others don’t judge you. The truly successful men of our days have mastered the act of calling for help when they are clueless. However, the caveat here is that you can’t be vulnerable before everyone because some might use it against you in their uncanny foolishness. Trust should be the watchword in expressing your vulnerability.

7. The Power of Appreciation
It’s a word rife with negativity; a world that is always falsely telling you that you are superior to the next man. A thankless world. This year, more than ever before, I have learnt to be grateful for everything. The little things, the big things and the sad things. Saying thank you is a priceless gesture and will do wonders for you. In simple terms, the next time someone makes a comment, before you shoot him down with your ‘all-knowing’ wisdom, acknowledge that it took some thinking and courage for him to voice that comment, and do well to appreciate that effort.

8. You don’t always have to have an opinion
At times in life, you don’t always have to air your opinion. You don’t always have to want to prove a point. There are times when accepting feedback and keeping your opinion to yourself saves you from today’s problems and tomorrow’s challenges.

9. Keep an open mind
Life has taught me that my way is not the only way, and to be fixated in my own viewpoint is to see the world from a shallow lens. You must understand that life’s biggest discoveries and inventions were stumbled upon with this mindset. You will go far in this thing called life if you keep an open mind to issues, places and people. A view from another vantage point might just make all the difference.

10. Don’t Let Others Judge You
This year, I watched a commencement speech delivered by Actor Ed Helms at the University of Virginia, and it formed one of my biggest lessons in 2015. He ended the speech thus: “As you go out in the world, you’ll find that people are always quick to define you, to pigeonhole you, to whittle you down to their preconceived notions—which brings me to my point: Never let others define you. Define yourselves.”

11. African writers’ rock!
And yes, this was a fundamental lesson that was reinforced in 2015. Having been a fan of the famous good old Chinua Achebe, Ngugui wa Thiong’o, Ayi kwei Armah amongst others; this year, I fell in love with the emerging pen pushers of today. From Eghosa Imasuen’s ‘Fine Boys’ to Sefi Atta’s ‘Everything Good will Come’ I found a deeper love for African Writers Series.


12. Don’t Stop Learning
Life has taught me to keep reaching, keep seeking, keep using my abilities to bring out the best in those around me, and let them bring out the best in me. You have to understand that no one is the finished article. We all are striving to acquire more knowledge and arm ourselves with requisite information. One of my mentors in a departure gift before he proceeded to an assignment in the Middle East this year left this words with me ‘Whatever you do, whatever you become, keep learning’. Nothing can be truer.

13. Travelling is a wonder
A friend of mine once told me: ‘Sam, if you must do one more thing in this life besides living for God, it is travelling the world’. This is clearly an outlandish thing to say, but the sense should not be lost in the exaggeration of the statement. This year, I ventured out, not entirely around the world, but to some cities around the world. I had some of my life greatest moments of inspiration and fun in travelling, seeing new places, learning new languages and just observing the world not as I see it only, but as ‘the rest’ sees it.

14. You are who you spend your time with, whether you like it or not.
You may think you have the will power and discipline to rise above the influence of your friends. You don’t. If you spend time with people who are in shape, you’ll be in shape. If you spend time with lazy people, you’ll be lazy. We all want to belong to a group and we do so by appearing similar to the group we want to belong to. Choose wisely who you spend your time with because it’s who you’ll become.

15. Grace can make all the difference.
All the fourteen lessons above will count for nothing without this. Work hard, give everyday a tremendous wag, take life lemons and make lemonade, pursue success with all you have got, it might still not be enough. With God’s grace in a man’s life, the barriers that will stand in the way are not yet born!