Sunday, July 22, 2018

Stop And Ponder on These Life Questions…


Today, I want to share with you some profound questions to help you reflect on life generally. Whatever phase you might be in your life, I hope these questions help you pounder, give you new perspectives and help you soldier on in your journey.

1: What are my values?
What matters to you most in this world? What will you passionately fight for?

2: Am I living my values?
Is there congruence between what you say is important, and what you are doing? Is there any aspect of your life where you are not being true to yourself, or not living in authenticity?

3: In looking back over the last 1-5 years, where did I go right?
Especially in times of difficulty, it's hard to recognize our good decisions, and our wins. Acknowledging them as we intentionally move into the future empowers us to seek out people and experiences that set us up for success.

4: In looking back over the last 1-5 years, where did I go wrong?
Similarly, where did you experience setbacks? Recognizing these setbacks, in the totality of all of your experiences, empowers you to avoid these mistakes in the future.

5: What scares me or causes me to procrastinate?
What is holding you back from making an important decision or taking a risk? What circumstance is causing you to stay in a comfort zone, impeding you to embrace a calling or chase a dream?

6: How can I take better care of myself?
Good health is true wealth. What health habits can you drop or add to your daily lifestyle to improve your condition, and minimize your risk for getting sick or requiring medication?

7: Do I have the right people around me?
We are the average of the 5-10 people closest to us. Are your closest friends a reflection of your value system and your goals for your life?

8: How am I improving life for others?
How are you contributing, even in a small way, to making life better for others? How are you living your life in such a way that it is not all about your own personal gain? Service to others is the easiest way to cultivate an attitude of gratitude, which is directly linked to happiness.

9: To whom do I need to apologize?
Is there someone in your life you have wronged? If yes, then that is an open wound for both parties. Can you step forward to apologize and to find closure before you turn the calendar?

10: Who must I thank, either for forgiveness, or for making a positive difference in my life or in the life of someone I love?
Who in your life deserves your appreciation? If someone has measurably impacted your life in a positive way, it is a gift to both of you to share your gratefulness.

11: For what must I forgive myself?
How have you been punishing yourself? Can you reach a place of self-forgiveness through self-compassion? Can you create a clean slate of self-acceptance?

12: What do I finally need to accept and embrace about myself, rather than seeing it as a weakness?
We are all our own worst critics. This inner critic never serves us. What can you finally accept about yourself, and perhaps even come to love and appreciate? Can you start now?

13: What is one quantum leap forward I have achieved since this time last year? What have you overcome? What have you concluded? What recognition have you earned as a result of hard work? What goal did you meet?

14: What is one accomplished quantum leap forward I will be able to name at this time next year, when I reflect back? How will you make your mark in the next year?

15: Finally, what is worth smiling about right now, at this precise moment in time?
Right now... at this VERY moment, what three things in your life bring a smile to your face? Now, pause and say thank-you.

I wish you success with your introspection as we enter the second half of 2018.

Sunday, July 15, 2018

7 Big Lessons From The 2018 World Cup!


The 2018 Russian world cup have been a tale of excitement, glitz and football that keeps giving. To borrow the words of Peter Drury, where does football go from here? That's how good the 64 games played over 30 days have been. Yet, amidst the glitz and fanfare, there were a few takeaways to pick up.

1. Talent is not enough: Portugal and Argentina
That the best two players (Ronaldo and Messi) in the world were out of the World Cup by the round of 16 speaks volume in itself. For all the talent in the world, Ronaldo and Messi couldn't do it on their own. They needed the team. When all is said and done, the stars take you far but the great teams forged with grit, character and teamwork will take you all the way. Both Argentina and Portugal pride themselves with famous names in their squads such as Sergio Aguero, Gonzalo Hinguain and Ricardo Quaresma, but talent wasn't enough. The good old adage still holds true.

2. Reinvent yourself or go extinct: Germany
Germany came into the world cup as both defending champions and the bookmakers favourite. The Germans had a nagging statistics to contend with though. The previous two defending champions (Italy and Spain) were knocked out at the group stages in 2010 and 2014 respectively. The reality is that as a champion in every sphere of life, you need to continually seek out ways to reinvent yourself and remain relevant. It goes without saying that the rest of the pack are often working hard to knock the market leader off the top spot. The example of Nokia comes to mind as they remained stagnant despite being the leader in the telephone market. Their albatross was to do nothing while the smartphone brands innovated.

3. Measure your own success: Panama

Panama were one of the great delights at the 2018 world cup. The nation of about 4 million people were making their world cup debut against all odds and they savoured every moment of it. The fans were thrilled and the players were equally delighted. In their second group game against England, they were 6 goals down when Felipe Baloy scored and the fans, players and coaching staff brought the roof down. Any bystander will wonder at their joy but this was a country measuring their own success by their yardstick. It butresses the point that when all is said and done, you are your own competition and the goal should always be to out-do your past. Panama knew they were not Spain or Brazil; they knew what they were. God bless their soul.

4. Seize the big moments: Modric and Mbappe
Kylian Mbappe might be only 19, but boy! He is the real deal! The PSG star made history when he became only the second teenager to score in the world cup final after Pele. The game against Argentina where he grabbed a brace was his announcement to the world. Every world cup tournament provides an opportunity for a player to grab it by the scruff of the neck and say to it 'I will seize you,' and that was what Mbappe did. Also doing that seizure with him was Luka Modric. He needs no introduction having won everything in club football with Real Madrid. Yet, Modric has shown again why size is nonsense in football and how grit and sheer determination can unlock doors. There are moments in our life that will not return with second chances. Success resides in such fine margins. The wisdom is in seizing YOUR own moment.

5. Success is always deliberate: France and African Teams
Take a bow, France. Alongside Croatia they gave us a final to remember. Yet France's rise to the pinnacle of world football is not accidental! France were in the 2006 world cup, they were at the 2016 European final and now now this. They were clearly building for this moment. A word for the French coach, Dider Deschamps. He was criticized for dropping Anthony Martial and Alex Lacazette from the team before the world cup. It was an unpopular decision but it has paid off. At times, the majority are not always right. Stand up for your unpopular decisons sometimes, even if you stand alone.
The flip side to France success is the African nations who all left the competition at the group stage. For all the despondency on the continent, there was no surprise here. The quality of football administration on the continent have been less than desirable. For the most part, mediocrity have been enthroned. Ours is a society where ethnic consideration are used as a yardstick to get into the national team. In the final analysis, the poor showing of African nations at the world cup is a reflection of the decadence on the continent.


6. Character is everything: Neymar and Maradona
Neymar arrived Russia as one of the most prominent names. In many people's eyes, he was the heir apparent to a throne long ruled by the dual talents of Ronaldo and Messi. Yet, Neymar leaves Russia with a diminished status. His antics and countless simulations on the pitch made him a laughing stock on social media. This reputation was so bad that there were times he didn't get what he rightly deserved on the pitch during the competition. It is also instructive that Real Madrid's pursuit of the Brazilian died a natural death as soon as Brazil was ousted from the competition. The hall of shame was also shared with the legendary Diego Maradona. He might be the greatest but his attitude in Russia was a reminder that character is everything.

7. Football is a powerful force: Diversity and Unity
In a world that is seeking to divide, quick to propagate hate and swift to rescind into cynicism, the 2018 world cup was a reminder that football is a great unifying force. The world cup defied colour, race and beliefs. Even if you are not a fanatic, you must have noticed the football festival. The sport remains the most popular in the world and this world cup reminded us why we all love football in the first place. Bring on Qatar 2022!

Sunday, July 8, 2018

4 Hard Truths About Today that Will Make You a Stronger Person Tomorrow


1. Everything you love and everything you are comfortable with is changing.

Most of the things we desperately try to hold on to, as if they’re real, solid, everlasting fixtures in our lives, aren’t really there. Or if they are there in some form, they’re changing, fluid, impermanent, or simply imagined in our minds.

Life gets a lot easier to deal with when we understand this.

Imagine you’re blindfolded and treading water in the center of a large swimming pool, and you’re struggling desperately to grab the edge of the pool that you think is nearby, but really it’s not—it’s far away. Trying to grab that imaginary edge is stressing you out, and tiring you out, as you splash around aimlessly trying to hold on to something that isn’t there. Now imagine you pause, take a deep breath, and realize that there’s nothing nearby to hold on to. Just water around you. You can continue to struggle with grabbing at something that doesn’t exist… or you can accept that there’s only water around you, and relax, and float.

One of the hardest lessons in life is letting go—whether it’s guilt, anger, love or loss. Change is never easy—you fight to hold on and you fight to let go. But letting go is oftentimes the healthiest path forward. It clears out toxic attachments from the past and paves the way to make the most positive use of the present.

You’ve got to emotionally free yourself from some of the things that once meant a lot to you, so you can move beyond the past and the pain it brings you.

2. 98% of the pain you feel today is self-created by your emotional attachments to the past.

If somebody is working on themselves and changing for the better, it’s unnecessary to keep bringing up their past. People can change and grow. You know this is true.

But, have you given yourself a fair chance to change and grow, too? Have you consciously loosened your grip on everything that’s behind you, so you can step forward again.

Growth is painful. Change is painful. But in the end, nothing is as painful as staying stuck somewhere in the past. Remind yourself of a powerful lesson … a vital truth:

You can have a heartbreaking story from the past, without letting it rule your present. In the present moment, we all have some kind of pain: anger, sadness, frustration, disappointment, regret, etc.

Notice this pain within yourself, watch it closely, and see that it’s caused by whatever story you have in your head about what happened in the past (either in the recent past or in the distant past). Your mind might insist that the pain you feel is caused by what happened (not by the story in your head about it), but what happened in the past is NOT happening right now. It’s over. It has passed. But the pain is still happening right now because of the story you’ve been subconsciously telling yourself about that past incident.

Note that “story” does not mean “fake story.” It also does not mean “true story.” The word “story” in the context of your self-evaluation doesn’t have to imply true or false, positive or negative, or any other kind of forceful judgment call. It’s simply a process that’s happening inside your head:

You are remembering something that happened.
You subconsciously perceive yourself as a victim of this incident.
Your memory of what happened causes a strong emotion in you.
So just notice what story you have, without judging it, and without judging yourself. It’s natural to have a story; we all have stories. See yours for what it is. And see that it’s causing you pain. Then take a deep breath, and another…

Inner peace begins the moment you take these deep breaths and choose not to allow the past to rule your present emotions.

Have faith in the NOW.

3. Many of the things you’d like to control today are better left uncontrolled.

Some things in life are worth changing and controlling. Most things are not.

Let that sink in for a moment.

This form of letting go is not giving up. It’s about surrendering any obsessive attachment to particular people, outcomes and situations. It means showing up every day in your life with the intention to be your best self, and to do the best you know how, without expecting life to go a certain way. It’s about focusing on what matters and let going of what does not.

The energy of someone aspiring to create something wonderful, teamed with this kind of surrender, is far more powerful and rewarding than someone determined to create outcomes with a desperate “must have” mentality. Surrender brings inner peace and joy, and lest we forget that our outer lives are a reflection of our inner state of being.

So, go ahead and put yourself back in control by letting most things be.

4. Your time today is more priceless and fleeting than it feels.

Too many of us wait too long to live our best lives. We keep putting everything that’s important to us off until tomorrow. Then, before we know it, we find ourselves asking, “How did it get so late so soon?” Or, we simply don’t have as much time as we expected.

Don’t let this be YOU.

Make today the beginning of your second chance at life. Take time to figure yourself out. Take time to realize what you want and need. Take time to take risks. Take time to love, laugh, cry, learn, and work for what you need. Life is shorter than it often seems.

Let this be your wake-up call to stop waiting.

What we do today day defines us! Tomorrow’s progress is always compounded by today’s effort, no matter how small.

Many wonderful little things can be done in a day if you don’t always make that day tomorrow. Take positive action and plant the right seeds in your life. Nature herself does not distinguish between what seeds she receives. She grows whatever seeds are planted. This is the way life works. Be mindful of the seeds you plant today, as they will become the crop you harvest tomorrow.

Truth be told, someday there REALLY won’t be a tomorrow! And this hard reality needs to be respected. I was actually reminded of all this earlier today when I was chatting with a 74-year-old friend, and she started our call by saying (I’m sharing this with permission): “Why didn’t I learn to accept and appreciate it all, and treat every day like it was the last time? Honestly, my biggest regret is how often I believed in tomorrow.” … May we all take heed to her words, and learn from them.

(MARCANDANGEL).

Sunday, July 1, 2018

Politicians As The Bane Of Nigeria’s Problem


Part of my ‘getaway technique’ of coping with the myriad of Nigeria’s problems is to have healthy conversations with a few friends who share genuine passion about the state of affairs in the country. It is my opportunity to vent and shed off the burden of frustration that I live with every day as a citizen. Last week, I had a very healthy conversation with a bosom friend who is a popular face on Nigeria television and in the social media space. The discussion touched on a few ‘going on’ at the moment, more critically on the new chairman of the ruling All Progressives Congress (APC), Comrade Adams Oshiomhole. Inevitably, it delved into a conversation about the response and genuineness of our leaders to pivotal issues affecting ‘we the people.’ My friend put it nicely when he said:

‘The vast majority that constitute the political class have no care in the world for the suffering masses of Nigeria. I agree that you cannot change the system (to a considerable degree) unless you are inside, but, the APC today; in its composition & operation (which is reminiscent of its half-brother PDP) , does not hold any hope whatsoever for the common man. Our political system is set up to advance the selfish interest of a minority (who perpetuate themselves in power as a result of their control over the apparatus & apparatchik of state). They supplant popular interest by destroying the institutions that engender human capital development & in place; reward the people with pittance. Hunger is a powerful tool to whip us in line & keep us subjugated. I know some 'big' people in PDP & APC. You don't need to engage them in a robust conversation to know that to them: everything is politics & in politics, it's about interest. Sadly, it's their selfish interest. Greedy politicians don’t fall from the sky. They are all products of a defective system. Ours is made worse by what appears to be a helpless, apolitical & hopeless citizenry. For example, the World Health Organization (WHO) makes provisions for free distribution of insecticide treated nets to families in Sub Saharan Africa. Yet, some of our politicians collect them, then go ahead to monetize the process of distribution & stash their pockets with grants donated by donor agencies. Sadly, these political class control economic & political power. Only time will tell if we'll break free from the mental bondage which they have enthroned through ethnic & religious politics.’

As you’d imagined, it was a earful for me by the time we were done with our conversation. While running the risk of sounding like a broken record, it is true that we have our differences as people but the political class exploit and magnify those differences for their selfish interests. Their stock in trade have always been ethnic and religious sentiments. Without mincing words, politicians are the primary problem with Nigeria.

The next time you think of sticking your neck on the line for a politician, have a rethink. They have succeeded in coning the uneducated minds and have even done a fine job on some of the literate ones. The key is to be politically aware and always stand in the place of reason. We must demand accountability from our political class and be ready to call them out when we need to, irrespective of allegiance. Political loyalty is absolute gibberish in the context of the larger good. The future of this country is far more important than loyalty for any politician.

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