10 Quick Questions that Will Change the Way You Think Today

1. What could you be positive and happy about right now, if you really wanted to? – Your greatest weapon against stress and negativity is your ability to choose one thought over another. Happiness escapes from those who refuse to see the good in what they have. When life gives you every reason to be negative, think of one good reason to be positive.

2. What’s one problem you’re thankful you don’t have right now? – Smile, not because life has been easy, perfect, or exactly as you had anticipated, but because you choose to be happy and thankful for all the good things you do have, and for all the problems you know you don’t have.

3. What do you need to stop thinking and saying to yourself? – Stop discrediting yourself for everything you aren’t, and start giving yourself credit for everything you ARE. We have to learn to be our own best friends, because sometimes we fall too easily into the trap of being our own worst enemies.

4. What are you holding on to that you need to let go of? – One of the hardest lessons in life is letting go—whether it’s guilt, anger, love or loss. Change is never easy. You fight to hold on and you fight to let go, but oftentimes letting go is the healthiest path forward. It clears out toxic thoughts from the past. You’ve got to emotionally free yourself from the things that once meant a lot to you, so you can move beyond the past and the pain it brings you. Again, it takes hard work to let go and refocus your thoughts, but it’s worth every bit of effort you can muster.

5. Will you blame others and deny responsibility, or will you create an action plan to move forward? – Imagine how much more effective and happy you’d be if, instead of denying, blaming, dreading and fighting against certain situations and tasks, you simply got them handled.

6. How can you respond from a place of clarity and strength, rather than thoughtlessly reacting to this experience? – Every time you are tempted to react in the same old way, ask yourself if you want to be a prisoner of the past or a pioneer of the future. And remember that our character is often most evident in our highs and lows. Be humble at the mountaintops, be strong in the valleys, and be faithful in between.

7. How can you be of service to the greater good, so that everyone around you feels elevated, rather than weighed down? – Life is a gift, and it offers us the privilege, opportunity, and responsibility to give something back by becoming more. Thus, the best way to find yourself when times are tough, is to lose yourself in the service of a cause greater than yourself.

8. How are your expectations serving you, or hurting you? – Don’t lower your standards, but do remember that removing your expectations of everything is the best way to avoid being disappointed. Because, in a sense, expectations are like fine pottery—the harder you hold on to them, the more likely they are to crack. So just let go a little, and appreciate your life and relationships for what they truly are.

9. Who, or what, needs your forgiveness? – Forgiveness doesn’t always lead to healed relationships and situations. Some relationships and situations aren’t meant to be. Forgive anyway, and let what’s meant to be, BE. Go ahead and set yourself free. When you hold resentment toward another entity, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and break free.

10. What do you now know better for next time? – Don’t let your fear of past events affect all the possibilities ahead of you. Live for what today has to offer, not what yesterday has taken away. There will always be obstacles, but we are confined most often by the walls we build ourselves. What we see greatly depends on how we look at it. Forget what you’ve lost and focus on what you’ve learned.

(MARCANDANGEL).

Ten Things I Hope You Understand

1. I hope you understand that to try is to truly win. And that to have put your hands on the plough is to have conquered inertia. That this thing called victory is our creation, and should find personal 'meaning' with you

2. I hope you understand that love is still the greatest force on earth, irrespective of how unlucky you might have been with it. That to have loved, and to have been loved is one of life's greatest gift, and that you will always pick love over hate.

3. I hope you understand the 'why'of why you started at all. That in the midst of the chaos, the lingering noises that mask themselves as wisdom, you find your raison d'etre, the reason for which you ventured, and to thyself be true.

4. I hope you understand that every moment is fleeting. That you must find meaning for your appearance in this space. That doing what you love should be pursued either as the 'main event' of your life or as a 'side attraction.' That to totally ignore this path is to have only half-lived.

5. I hope you understand that life will throw you curve balls, catch you unawares alot, rock your boat uninvited and pass sour lemons your way. That to go through the school of hard knocks which life is, is what it means to have been educated, and that your badge of living comes from these vicissitudes.

6. I hope you understand that to be kind is a treasure you should gift everyone. That true kindness is in the little things...The opening the door for someone else, saying please, letting someone else take the last seat on the bus and simply being a good person.

7. I hope you understand that it is fine to cry. That it is perfectly ok to feel exhausted, whimper and not be up for it on some days. That on these days, the world will cut you some slack, but that you will get back on your feet and go again.

8. I hope you understand that people will not always be there for you. That there are some of life's battles you will have to go alone. That these battles are for 'self' only. Battles that will test your will, conviction, staying power and your loyalty.

9. I hope you understand that the gift of true friendship is priceless. That 'real' old friends are the best. That you must seek friends that will always have your back, and more importantly, you must be the kind of friend you seek.

10. I hope you understand that God is still the greatest waymaker. That He can pick your pieces and make a masterpiece from it, and that he loves you more than your mind can ever conceive. I hope you never forget this in your darkest days.

How to Be Grateful and Strong When Things Go Wrong

1. Be grateful around difficult people.
We expect people to treat us kindly, fairly, and respectfully. But the reality is some people won’t. They will lose their tempers or act foolishly, regardless of how we treat them. This must be accepted. Don’t lower your standards, but do remind yourself that removing your expectations of others—especially those who are being difficult—is the best way to avoid being disappointed by them. When you’re forced to deal with a difficult person, you can be grateful for having other people in your life who are far less difficult. You can be grateful for having a way to practice being better at patience, communication, and tempering your expectations. You can think of this person as a teacher who is inadvertently helping you to grow stronger as a person. And, at the very least, you can be grateful for them because they serve as a great reminder of how not to be.

2. Be grateful when you catch yourself starting to complain.
Many of us have developed a subtle habit of complaining when things don’t go quite our way. Gratitude is the antidote. Each time you notice yourself feeling bitter, or complaining, notice the story in your mind about “how life should be.” Instead of letting this story dominate you, find a small way to be grateful instead. What could you feel grateful for right now? What could you appreciate about this moment? Remember, there’s always something to be negative about—and something to be grateful for. The choice is ours.

3. Be grateful when you begin to feel overwhelmed.
Have you ever noticed how the more familiar you become with an amazing situation or relationship in your life, the more you seem to take it for granted—and even feel annoyed or overwhelmed in busy and stressful times? Challenge yourself to flip your perspective in these moments, using a simple reframing tool we call “. . . and I love it!”

4. Find gratitude after job loss.
No one wins at chess by only moving forward; sometimes you have to move backward to put yourself in a position to win. And that’s a good metaphor for your life’s work too. As painful as losing your job is, it’s an ending that leads to the beginning of everything that comes next. Let the heaviness of being successful be replaced by the lightness of starting over. This new beginning is the start of a different story, the opportunity to refresh your life, to reinvent who you are. Remind yourself, as often as necessary, that you can find gratitude for where you are. You can find gratitude for these moments of reinvention—for pushing into the discomfort of getting good at interviewing, learning new skills, and leveling up. You can find gratitude for the opportunity to grow stronger, even in the midst of the growing pains that ultimately get you there.

5. Find gratitude amid health problems.
A couple of years ago, on the second-to-last day of her life, a close friend of ours shared that her only regret was that she didn’t appreciate every year with the same passion and purpose that she had in the last two years of her life, after she was diagnosed with terminal cancer. “I’ve accomplished so much recently, and truly appreciated every step,” she said. “If I had only known, I would have started sooner.” Her words made us cry and smile at the same time. What was truly miraculous was seeing the genuine gratitude in her eyes at that moment. And her sentiment has always remained with us. So, while health problems are never fun, the pain can be mediated by a sense of gratitude for having a chance to move forward on our own terms. Of having a life worth living, from moment to precious moment.

6. Find gratitude when someone you love dies.
As we know firsthand, when you lose someone you can’t imagine living without, your heart breaks wide open. And the bad news is you never completely get over the loss—you will never forget them. However, we have the ability to push through the experience, and even find meaning in it. Ultimately, we grew to appreciate that although death is an ending, it is also a necessary part of living. Limits illuminate beauty, and death is the ultimate limit—a reminder that we need to celebrate this beautiful person, and appreciate this beautiful thing called life. Although deeply sad, this passing forces us to gradually reinvent our lives, and in this reinvention is an opportunity to experience beauty in new, unseen ways and places. And finally, death is an opportunity to celebrate a person’s life, and to be grateful for the beauty they showed us.

Life’s disappointments and struggles are not easy to find gratitude for, but they can become incredible paths of growth if we find the lessons in them—if we start to see everything as our teacher. Truly, the best time to focus on being grateful is when you don’t feel like it. Because that’s when doing so can make the biggest difference.

(MARCANDANGEL).

Every Moment Is A Battle

For in the end, freedom is a personal and lonely battle; and one faces down fears of today so that those of tomorrow might be engaged - Alice Walker

Life has taught me that every moment is a battle. Sharpen your blade and show up for the fight, or the fight will be brought to your doorsteps, anyway. Sometimes life is tough, but always you are tougher. Thus, live before you die. Be bold. Take risks. Go out and make some irreplaceable memories. At times, this thing called life is a paradox, and a tale of fights. We fight to get on the scene; but that is not enough. While on the scene, you must fight to keep your place at the table, and this can be a struggle, but that is just the way life is. Yet, the fight doesn’t end there. We are combating on many fronts on a daily basis. If it’s not a fight to be who you are, it is one for the future of your children.

In what was adjudged one of the greatest speech in the history of film-making, Tony D'Amato, who played Al Pacino in the 1999 movie ‘Any Given Sunday’ gave a rallying speech to his football team, Miami Sharks, when the odds were stacked against them. There are great nuggets from that speech that resonates mightily.

“I don't know what to say, really. Three minutes to the biggest battle of our professional lives. All comes down to today, and either, we heal as a team, or we're going to crumble. Inch by inch, play by play. Until we're finished. We're in hell right now, gentlemen. Believe me. And, we can stay here, get the shit kicked out of us, or we can fight our way back into the light. We can climb out of hell... one inch at a time. Now I can't do it for you, I'm too old. I look around, I see these young faces and I think, I mean, I've made every wrong choice a middle-aged man can make. I've pissed away all my money, believe it or not. I chased off anyone who's ever loved me. And lately, I can't even stand the face I see in the mirror. You know, when you get old, in life, things get taken from you. I mean, that's... that's... that's a part of life. But, you only learn that when you start losing stuff. You find out life's this game of inches, so is football. Because in either game - life or football - the margin for error is so small. I mean, one half a step too late or too early and you don't quite make it. One half second too slow, too fast and you don't quite catch it. The inches we need are everywhere around us. They're in every break of the game, every minute, every second. On this team we fight for that inch. On this team we tear ourselves and everyone else around us to pieces for that inch. We claw with our fingernails for that inch. Because we know when we add up all those inches, that's going to make the difference between winning and losing! Between living and dying! I'll tell you this, in any fight it's the guy whose willing to die who is going to win that inch. And I know, if I'm going to have any life anymore it's because I'm still willing to fight and die for that inch, because that's what living is, the six inches in front of your face. Now I can't make you do it. You've got to look at the guy next to you, look into his eyes. Now I think I am going to see a guy who will go that inch with you. You are going to see a guy who will sacrifice himself for this team, because he knows when it comes down to it you are going to do the same for him. That's a team, gentlemen, and either, we heal, now, as a team, or we will die as individuals. That's football guys, that's all it is. Now, what are you going to do?” Even people who don't like football, love this speech, because it's not just about football, it's about life! It’s about struggle and finding the necessary strength to rise up to the battles life and living throws at us.

Because life means a continual battle of one's success, failure, happiness, or unhappiness, a lot mostly depends upon one's knowledge of this battle. Whatever be one's occupation in life, whatever be one's knowledge, if one lacks the knowledge of the battle of life one lacks the most important knowledge of all. The question arises, of what does this knowledge of life's battle consist? It comprises the knowledge of warfare, how to fight and how to make peace. Human nature very often makes the mistake of taking sides, either the side of war or the side of peace. But if one studies the history of nations and races one will find that it was this mistake which often caused their failure. There have been times when nations and races have developed in their character the knowledge of peace, for instance people such as the Hindus with their most ancient civilization; but it could not bring them complete satisfaction as one side of human nature was neglected and misunderstood. In this present age it seems that the knowledge of warfare has developed; but on the other hand the knowledge of peace is absent; for the full knowledge of warfare is both the knowledge of battle and the knowledge of peace. This can be learned according to the mystics by battling with oneself, and by bringing about peace with one's own soul. The life of an individual being is not very different from the Life of the world. An individual person's home is not different from the world. An individual's body and mind and spirit form the whole universe. An individual life can fill the gap between the dawn of creation and the last day. Man does not realize how important is his own life, his self; and the study of his own life and his own self is a study of the greatest importance.

A healthy person has waiting at his door several illnesses, several diseases, waiting for the opportunity when they can attack him. A person with wealth has many who wait at his door for the chance to take away from him what he possesses. A person about whom good is said, has many awaiting a moment when something bad may be said about him. A person who has power or position, how many are not waiting for the opportunity to pull him down and see him slide down from the place where he stands! And what does this show? Why is it so? One may give a thousand reasons, and yet no proper reason. The best explanation one can give is that life is a continual battle. At times, in life, you have to quit looking for logical explanation to dissect your situation and rather, face what you must face, every day.
The process of creation began like this. According to science light comes from friction. It is one power against the other power, fighting; and from these two different forces striking upon each other comes an effect, and that effect in reality may be called life. In this lies the secret of both love and hate. One sees in the animal kingdom that the first tendency of the animals is instinctively to fight one another. This tendency becomes modified; and it is its modification and its reduced force that produce in them what we call virtues. As it is said in the Quran that the world was created out of darkness, so wisdom comes out of ignorance. And the best knowledge is not only the knowledge of all that is good and beautiful, all that is harmonious and peaceful, but also the knowledge of the causes that are behind all the conflicts and all the battles chat one has to face in life. The reason why man generally lacks this knowledge is because when he is faced with a battle he wants to fight, instead of first wanting to learn how to fight. And the one who goes into life's battle without first acquiring the knowledge of warfare loses in the end. But one who learns about this warfare of life first learns its reason and its causes, becomes more capable of fighting the battle of his life.

For this battle in life the first thing that is necessary is to keep the army in order. And what is this army? It is one's nervous power. Whatever be one's occupation, profession, walk in life, if one has no control over one's own nerves one will be unable to control that walk in life. Today people study political economy or various other kinds of economy, but the most essential economy is economizing the forces which make one healthy and strong through life. This army must be drilled and made to work at command. And one will find the proof of this when one can sleep at will, when one can rest and eat and work at will; then that army is really at one's command. In the words of Samuel Smiles ‘The battle of life is, in most cases, fought uphill; and to win it without a struggle were perhaps to win it without honor. If there were no difficulties there would be no success; if there were nothing to struggle for, there would be nothing to be achieved.’

(Excerpts from my book 'The Path Less Travelled' - https://www.amazon.com/Path-Less-Travelled-Reflections-Learning/dp/1540663507).