Zimbabwe: Not Yet Uhuru

The glee has been unprecedented and the streets of Harare have never witnessed such hysterical moments. In the eyes of the people, the army have become national heroes for daring to do the impossible, and the once revered Robert Mugabe has become a national caricature. The placards on the streets of Zimbabwe have been damning to behold for the 93 years old. One of such placards in the hands of a teenager read: ‘Rest in Peace, Robert’. It is a case of the downfall of the patriarch of Africa’s strongmen.

For many, Mugabe was Zimbabwe. He has become synonymous with the Southern African Country. Mugabe’s rise to tyranny was a heroic ascension. He spent 11 years as a political prisoner under Ian Smith’s Rhodesian government. He rose to lead the Zimbabwe African National Union movement and was one of the key negotiators in the 1979 Lancaster House Agreement, which led to the creation of a fully democratic Zimbabwe. Elected prime minister and later president, he embraced conciliation with the country’s white minority but sidelined his rivals through politics and force. Beginning in 2000, he encouraged the takeovers of white-owned commercial farms. For 37 years, he was a torn in the flesh of the West. His economic policies have also left Zimbabwe in economic doldrums and his intolerance for meaningful opposition made him a tyrant at best. The last straw that broke the camel’s back for Mugabe was the removal of long term vice president, Emmerson Mnangagwa and installation of his wife, Grace. The people had had enough and the army led the so called ‘peaceful coup’ that peaked with the resignation of Mugabe and the coronation of Mnangagwa as president. The fiasco has left a few lessons in its wake.

Mugabe was perhaps one of the last men standing in the litany of long serving African leaders; thus, signaling the fact that the people know better in today’s Africa, and the days of family dynasties are coming to an end. The goal of Mugabe was to die in office but he should have listened to his senile mind. The world around him was changing fast and that reality was lost upon him. Another apt point is how much people generally have a sieve memory. For all his dictatorial tendencies, he was the man in the forefront of Zimbabwe liberation from white minorities. He spent over a decade in prison and suffered several arrests. While it will be naïve to condone his longevity in office, it will also be foolhardy not to acknowledge his contributions to the society. The tales of joy and sheer ridicule of Robert Mugabe by many Zimbabweans is a rude reminder that the same people who sing ‘Alleluia’ will be swift to chant ‘Crucify him’ when it is convenient. It is a sad fact of life but the reality is that: people forget! Going forward, Zimbabwe must tread with caution, and be careful of the West and its outstretched arms of friendship. It is true that isolating the rest of the world is not the way to go in today’s global planet but terms of friendship must be clear and carefully assessed. The demise of Mugabe does not translate to economic and social flourish for Zimbabwe. The road ahead will be tougher than the previous 37 years spearheaded by Mugabe. In many ways, this doesn’t look like a revolution, in Reuben Abati’s words ‘it is a re-arrangement of the power nexus within the ruling party. This is all at the end of the day about Grace Mugabe.’ The state of Libya post Muammar Gaddafi is a clear reminder that such phase must not be handled with kid gloves.

How posterity will remember Mugabe will remain the contemplations of historians. It is very likely that the jury will remain discursive in their verdict for this is a man that means different things to different people.

10 Things to Remember Before You Take Things Personally

Continuing the series of thoughts on not taking things personal, these are ten striking things to remember.

1. Calmness is a superpower. The ability to not overreact or take things personally keeps your mind clear and your heart at peace.

2. Even when it seems personal, rarely do people do things because of you, they do things because of them.

3. You may not be able control all the things people say and do to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them.

4. There is a huge amount of freedom that comes to you when you detach from other people’s beliefs and behaviors. The way people treat you is their problem, how you react is yours.

5. Oftentimes people do things and say things because they’ve been conditioned to, not because they consciously want to.

6. You can’t control how people receive your energy. Whatever someone interprets, or projects onto you, is at least partially an issue or problem that they themselves are dealing with.

7. Take constructive criticism seriously, but not personally. Weigh what you hear from others against what you know in your heart to be true.

8. If you’re willing to view the behavior of other people as indicative of their relationship with themselves, then you will inevitably take things less personally.

9. If you truly wish to improve your self-confidence, self-esteem, and self-worth, stop allowing other people to be responsible for them. Stop allowing other people to dominate your emotions.

10. All the hardest, coldest people you meet were once as soft as a baby. And that’s the tragedy of living. So when people are rude, be kind, be mindful, be your best. Give those around you the “break” that you hope the world will give you on your own “bad day” and you will never, ever regret it.

(MARCANDANGEL).

It’s Not Personal!

When one stops taking what other people do or say personally, one is no longer in conflict with them - Suma Varughese

I have come to learn a great truth about people and their reaction towards me, which is ‘It’s not about me.’ You need to learn to stop taking things to heart. Everyone just wants to get by, and in a dog-eat-dog environment like ours, everyone wants to survive. When all is said and done, it is not personal; it rarely is. Understanding this will free you from the shackles of un-forgiveness and give a new lease of life to your spirit.

People do what they do because that is what their mind, ego selves or situations cause them to do. It has very little to do with us. Unfortunately, we take it all personally, and feel angry, jealous, hurt or sad. And when they do things that benefit us, or give a boost to our ego selves by complimenting us or showing their affection for us, we feel happy, self-congratulatory or validated. But that too has nothing to do with us. Those who like us do so because they are capable of liking us; most of us are not universally popular, so we cannot attribute it to ourselves alone. Similarly, their paying a compliment has at least as much to do with their generosity of spirit, as it has to do with our own magnificence. There really is no connection between what others think, do or say, and how we react to it. What they do is their stuff, and how we feel about it is our stuff. And these two domains are never supposed to meet.

We have all been hurt in some way or another. Whether through personal mistakes or someone else’s actions, we all know what it feels like. Living a lifetime without any experience of pain is just unimaginable. The thing is, we know how it feels to fall in love, so we take the risks, time and time again, because we know it is the most incredible experience in the world. Some of us take a few years out while we heal; others put themselves in vulnerable positions almost instantly. When you witness and experience true love and allow yourself to become vulnerable to another human being, the dirty footprints from your past start to fade away.

What a profound freedom we would experience if we could detach from the stuff of others. With what judicious discrimination we would act if we did not have to ward off huge waves of disruptive emotion. Best of all, with no inner stuff to distract us, how much more open we would be to the other person, how much more available would we be to the issues and problems that are driving their behaviour, how much more accepting and loving we would be of them. With inner stuff gone, all conflict would disappear, for we and the other will be on the same side, instead of on opposing ones.

40 Hard Things You Need to Hear

1. When you hear only what you want to hear, you’re not really listening. Listen to what you don’t want to hear too. That’s how you grow.

2. Fantasizing about other times and places can be dangerous. Don’t cling so tightly to the past, or dream so fervently about the future, that you miss out on the real value and beauty that is here and now. Don’t live entirely in your head. Don’t miss your life!

3. You often waste your time waiting for the ideal path to appear. But it never does. Because you forget that paths are made by walking, not waiting.

4. You will never feel as confident as you want to feel. Stop believing that you should feel more confident before you take the next step. Taking the next step is what builds your confidence.

5. Distractions will get the best of you if you let them. Study your routines, figure out where your time goes, and remove distractions. You become a true master of your life when you learn how to master your focus—where your attention goes.

6. There’s a big difference between empty fatigue and gratifying exhaustion. Know the difference. Life is too short. Invest in the activities (and relationships) you deeply care about. Value what you give your energy to. Focus on what matters and let go of what does not.

7. Self-neglect is super common. Realize this! Your needs matter. Do NOT ignore them. At times you have to do what’s best for you and your life, not just what’s best for everyone else. There’s absolutely nothing selfish about self-care and self-love. We can’t give what we don’t have. Enrich your life and you’ll be life-giving to others, too.

8. You don’t give yourself enough credit sometimes. Remember that time you thought you couldn’t make it through? You did, and you’ll do it again. Don’t let your challenges get the best of you. Appreciate how far you’ve come. You’ve been through a lot, but you’ve grown a lot too. Give yourself credit for your resilience.

9. Your response is always more powerful than your circumstance. A tiny part of your life is decided by completely uncontrollable circumstances, while the vast majority of your life is decided by your responses. Where you ultimately end up is heavily dependent on how you play the hands you’ve been dealt.

10. Everything gets a bit uncomfortable when it’s time to change. That’s just a part of the growth process. Things will get better. Be patient.

11. Patience is not about waiting. Patience is the ability to keep a positive, focused attitude while working hard to move your life forward.

12. New, good habits don’t form overnight. It takes roughly 66 days to form a habit. So for the next nine weeks, look at the bright side of your life, and you will rewire your brain. Then apply this same principle to other areas of your life.

13. Mental strength is incredibly important, and easily overlooked. Go to environments that expand your mind. Spend time with people who truly inspire you. Read books. Learn. Grow. Get better. Your life is your choice.

14. Old patterns are hard to break. Be aware. Act consciously and consistently. Don’t fall back into your old patterns. Toxic habits and behaviors always try to sneak back in when you’re doing better. Stay focused.

15. Sometimes it’s better to let go without closure. Actions and behavior speak volumes. Trust the signs you were given and gracefully press on.

16. If you always play the victim, you will always be treated like one. Life isn’t fair. But you don’t have to let the past define your future. Try to take life day by day and be grateful for the little things. Don’t get caught up in what you can’t control.

17. Life doesn’t always give you the circumstances you want. Life gives you the circumstances you need … to learn, to grow, and to fall in love.

18. When you really pay attention, everyone and everything is your teacher. Take time to observe and listen. Take time to learn something new.

19. No one wins at chess by only moving forward. Sometimes you have to move backward to put yourself in a position to win. This is a perfect metaphor for life.

20. Your hardest challenges will teach you your best lessons. There is an opportunity in every difficult situation to understand yourself more deeply, and also to improve your life. Take one small step at a time.

21. The vast majority of your stress is self-inflicted. And the most powerful weapon you have against stress is your ability to choose one thought over another. Learn to manage your thoughts, before your thoughts manage you.

22. Your mind will forever produce negative thoughts. So the goal isn’t to get rid of all your negative thoughts. That’s impossible. The goal is to change your response to them. In fact, the strongest sign of your inner growth is realizing you’re no longer worried, stressed or pained by the things that once used to drain you.

23. Calmness is a superpower. The ability to not overreact or take things personally keeps your mind clear and your heart at peace. Once you begin to value your inner peace over your need to react and be right, you will in fact experience more inner peace, and happiness.

24. You are holding on to things that hold you back. When things aren’t adding up in your life, begin subtracting. Life gets a lot simpler when you clear the clutter that makes it complicated. Not everything and everyone you lose is a loss.

25. “Busy” is mostly just an excuse. In a world with so much noise and clutter, you must make room to hear yourself and others. Embrace silence and space. Breathe and listen. Be where you are. You’re where you’re supposed to be at this very moment. Every step and experience is necessary, and can be enhanced with your presence.

26. You ignore your inner voice too often. Give yourself the space to listen to your own voice—your own soul. Too many of us listen to the noise of the world and get lost in the crowd.

27. You often seek validation from the wrong sources. You will never find your worth in another human being—you will find it in yourself, and then you will attract those who are worthy of your energy. So stop waiting for others to tell you how impressive you are. Impress yourself. Show yourself that you can grow and get better. It’s never about competing with others. In the end, it’s just you vs. you.

28. Popularity is irrelevant. Forget popularity. Just do your thing with passion, humility, and honesty. Do what you do, not for an applause, but because it’s what’s right. Many of the kindest gestures you’ll ever make, and the most important things you’ll ever do, will never be seen publicly. Do them anyway.

29. You have been impressed with some people for the wrong reasons. Be less impressed by money, titles, degrees, and looks. Be more impressed by generosity, integrity, humility, and kindness.

30. People will not always tell you how they feel about you. But they will always show you. Pay close attention.

31. Your expectations of others cause you unnecessary pain. Don’t lower your standards, but do remember that removing your expectations of others is the best way to avoid being disappointed by them.

32. You will end up heartbroken if you expect people will always do for you as you do for them. Not everyone has the same heart as you.

33. Life is too short to argue and fight. Remember to be selective in your battles. Peace can feel better than being right. You don’t need to attend every argument you’re invited to. Count your blessings, value the people who matter, and move on from the drama with your head held high.

34. You will gradually attract people that think and behave like you. If you want to be surrounded by positive people, you need to be positive too. And the opposite is also true. So do your best to surround yourself with people who push you to be your best. Less drama—less mess. Just higher vibrations and intentions.

35. You need to learn to be more human again (we all do). Don’t avoid eye contact. Don’t hide behind gadgets. Smile today. Ask about people’s stories. Listen.

36. Sometimes you subconsciously dehumanize people you disagree with. Be careful. In our self-righteousness, we can easily become the very things we dislike in others. Ultimately, the way we treat people we disagree with is a report card on what we’ve learned about love and compassion. Every single person you meet is afraid of something, loves something, and has lost something. Know this. Respect this. And be extra kind.

37. “Bad” people can change for the better. If somebody is working on themselves and changing for the better, it’s unnecessary to keep bringing up their past. People can change and grow.

38. Forgiveness is necessary for personal peace. Forgive others, not because they absolutely deserve forgiveness, but because you absolutely deserve peace. Free yourself of the burden of being an eternal victim.

39. Life will take things from you, and give things to you, gradually and continuously. It’s funny how we outgrow what we once thought we couldn’t live without, and then we fall in love with what we didn’t even know we wanted. Do your best to embrace life’s uncertainties. Some of the best chapters in your life won’t have a title you feel fully comfortable with until later.

40. Everything you have right now is in the process of changing again. Look around, and be thankful for your life right now. For your health, your family, your friends, and your home. Nothing lasts forever.

(MARCANDANGEL).