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Showing posts from 2017

7 Smart Yet Simple Ways to Handle Difficult People

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1. Practice detaching yourself from other people’s bias opinions. — You may not be able control all the things people say and do, but you can decide not to be reduced by them. The way people treat you is their problem, how you respond internally is yours. What you need to remember is that the things people say and do to you is much more about them, than you. People’s reactions to you are about their perspectives, biases and past experiences. Whether people think you’re amazing, or believe you’re disgusting, again, is more about them and how they view the world. Now, I’m not suggesting we should be self-indulged narcissists and ignore all the opinions and commentary we receive from others. I’m simply saying that incredible amounts of hurt, disappointment and sadness in our lives come directly from our tendency to take things too personally. In most cases it’s far more productive and healthy to let go of other people’s good or bad opinions of you, and to operate with your own in…

You Think Anybody Really Cares About You?

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The movie, ‘Rocky’ is renowned for many things, but none of these things compares to the life lessons that this movie is laced with. This is one of such lessons from the movie: ‘Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain’t all sunshine and rainbows. It’s a very mean and nasty place and I don’t care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain’t about how hard you hit. It’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That’s how winning is done! Now if you know what you’re worth then go out and get what you’re worth. But you gotta be willing to take the hits, and not pointing fingers saying you ain’t where you wanna be because of him, or her, or anybody! Cowards do that and that ain’t you! You’re better than that’

The sad thing is that some people are so fixated about how they show up, how they are being …

4 Little Things that Will Matter a Lot More to You in 40 Years

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1. Treating your very limited time each day with care.

As time passes, you naturally have more of it behind you and less of it in front of you. The distant future, then, gradually has less value to you personally. But that doesn’t really matter, because the good life always begins right now, when you stop waiting for a better one. Some people wait all day for 5pm, all week for Friday, all year for the holidays, all their lives for happiness. But you don’t have to be one of them. Don’t wait until your life is almost over to realize how good it has been. A life uncluttered by most of the meaningless drama, distraction, and busyness people fill their lives with, leaving us with space for what’s truly meaningful. A life that isn’t constant rushing, worrying and stress, but instead contemplation, creation, and connection with the people and projects that matter most to us.

By redefining our priorities, and building healthy rituals to back them up, we’ve literally been able to chang…

Life Lessons From Mayweather’s Victory

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1. Risk Must Be Calculated
For the overtly enthusiastic like me that followed most of the buildup leading up to the main event at Las Vegas, one thing was clear; the preparations in both Floyd and Conor’s camps were surreal. From a series of strenuous exercises in a specialized hydrotherapy pool to thorough paces at the gym, Conor McGregor was giving nothing away. However, for Floyd Mayweather and his Money team, they had their jobs well cut out. Mayweather was coming out of retirement at age 40 to risk his 49-match unbeaten record. Signing off to this duel was putting his place at the Hall of Fame at risk. However, it was a calculated one. The decision to pick up his gloves after about two years of inactivity was made easier by the choice of the opponent. McGregor was never a boxer. He is a martial artist at best. And while the outlier nature of the opponent must have been a risk in itself, Mayweather has been long enough in this business to know that it was a risk that was worth it…

5 Hard Things You Have to Do to Move Forward with Your Life

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1. Practice thinking better about yourself.

You have to admit, you’ve spent a lot of your life subconsciously belittling yourself. Thinking you’re not enough. Trying to be someone else. Someone who fits in. Someone who’s less sensitive. Less needy. Less flawed. Less YOU. Because you felt broken, and you didn’t want to scare people away. You wanted them to like you. You wanted to make a good impression. You wanted to be seen as worthy and loveable. So you could feel healed and whole. And so for the longest time, behind a facade of fake smiles, you have inadvertently betrayed yourself for the purpose of pleasing everyone else. And for longest time, your heart has ached.

But you’re at a point now where you’re seeing things differently. The heartache just isn’t worth it anymore. Belittling yourself for one more day just doesn’t make any sense. And more than that, you now realize no matter what you do or how you change, some people will never be pleased anyway. You now rea…

Football is Back!

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As the world attempts to recover from the hysteria that was ‘Neymar’s deal to PSG’, football creeps on us again and offers us a slight reminder that ‘It’s about me and I am almost back’. The end of every football season across Europe ushers in new anticipation almost immediately. There are summers where football is extended either by a continental event or by the confederations cup; but even that pales in comparison to European league blitz and excitement. Yet, even among the elite leagues in Europe, it is a consensus that while the English Premier League might not be the league with the best quality of football, it is light years ahead of its peers in excitement, competitiveness and glamour. The Premier league has come of age. From insane money injection to TV rights deals that astounds the mind, the 2017/2018 season promises to be even better.

At the beginning of last season, most bookmakers predicted a two-horse race between the Manchester clubs. The deflection of attention suited…

Life Gives Every Man His Own Share Of Pain

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All men is dealt a measure of pain – Unknown

As the cliché goes, everyone is fighting something. Life gives each man his own fair share of troubles, hurts and demons. No one is spared. Don’t let appearance or status delude you, we all have issues in our lives and we all have that one thing we struggle to tell anyone about. Some of us have just made a mastery of dealing with it diligently and astutely without finding sympathizers.

If you live very long enough, you will discover that everyman has his own fair share of pain. Do not let appearances and outlook fool you. We are all fighting something and as T.D jakes once put it ‘We all have a private wound in a private place.’ It is for this reason that you have to be careful when you point an accusing finger to the next man. When you see a child go wayward, don’t be quick to throw jibes at the parent for doing a poor job at parenthood. You simply don’t know the full story. And as it often happens in life, your case might be worse. Somet…

3 Toxic Behaviors that Drain Your Mental Energy

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1. Your inner craving to control the uncontrollable.

Letting go of control… and being OK with it. That is one of the greatest struggles many of us deal with on a daily basis, myself included. Because letting go of control goes directly against our modernized, industrialized way of living – we are go-getters, doers, architects of our destiny. We build things and make things happen on our own terms; we don’t wait for anything to happen on someone else’s terms! At least that’s what I learned growing up from teachers, sports coaches, movies, songs, magazine articles, and so forth. So allowing things to happen was not in my DNA. I had never been one to sit back and passively let go of control.

Over the years, however, my perspective has shifted. I’ve learned the hard way that a great deal of the control we believe we have over our lives is an illusion. For example, I’ve since met…The only choice we have: Let go, and be mindful…In the game of life, we all receive a unique set of un…

Who Wants Buhari Dead?

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May 7th was the date when President Buhari proceeded on his second medical mission to the United Kingdom for the year. The change ‘poster boy’ has been bedeviled by an undisclosed ailment that has derailed his attention away from presidential duties. The hue and cry that have trailed the absence of the president smacks of the reality that is the social media age. In an era where every Nigerian is armed with 140 twitter characters, and creation of sensational memes is no one’s prerogative, the hysteria has been unbelievable. Some have lampooned the ailing president; others have carried out prayer campaigns for his recovery. The reaction has been surreal.

The general consensus is that the acting president, Yemi Osinbajo has done an okay job in the president’s absence. He has steadied the ship at the least. The reality is that the constitution for all its flaws, envisaged such a scenario and made provisions to ensure that there is no power lacuna. In a sane society, the business of runn…

19 Mantras that Will Adjust Your Attitude (When You Can’t Adjust Anything Else)

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1. Most people make themselves unhappy simply by finding it impossible to accept life just as it is presenting itself right now. Be mindful.
2. Happiness doesn’t start with a better relationship, a better degree, a better job, or more money. It starts with your thinking and what you tell yourself today.
3. You may not be able control all the things that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them.
4. When you are no longer able to change a situation, you are challenged to change yourself. And doing so, in turn, changes everything.
5. You alone get to choose what matters and what does not. The meaning of everything in your life has precisely the meaning you give it.
6. Use your struggles and frustrations today to motivate you rather than annoy you. You are in control of the way you look at life.
7. Worrying never changes the outcome. Breathe more and worry less. Train your mind to see the lesson in every situation, and then make the best of it.
8. Be selective i…

You Don’t Always Have To Have An Opinion

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“Your judgement of other people say more about you than the people that you are judging” – Mhar

At times in life, you don’t always have to air your opinion. You don’t always have to want to prove a point. There are times when accepting feedback and keeping your opinion to yourself saves you from today’s problems and tomorrow’s challenges.

Everywhere we go, someone in our life has an opinion of something we are or are not doing. An opinion on why someone is too young to have kids, but too old to be single. An opinion on why going to University is a waste of money or why not going at all will ruin your life. An opinion on whether you should live with your significant ‘other’ while dating or remain completely solo until married. Do you want me to keep going? I could probably sit here all day making a litany of things people will always have an opinion about. You have life experiences and you want to share the ‘wisdom’ you believe you have acquired. I am not saying it’s a terrible thing,…

6 Toxic Behaviors that Break Relationships Up

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1. Using complaints and disagreements as an opportunity to condemn each other.

Complaints are OK. Disagreements are OK too. These are natural, honest reactions to a person’s decisions or behavior. But when complaints and disagreements spiral out of control into global attacks on the person, and not on their decisions or behavior, this spells trouble. For example: “They didn’t call me when they said they would because they were busy and forgot, but because they are a horrible, wretched, evil person.” Remember, there’s a big difference between who someone IS and what they sometimes DO.

2. Using hateful gestures as a substitute for honest communication.

Frequent name-calling, threats, eye-rolling, belittling, mockery, hostile teasing, etc. In whatever form, gestures like these are poisonous to a relationship because they convey hate. And it’s virtually impossible to resolve a relationship problem when the other person is constantly receiving the message that you hate them. Also,…

7 Things You Have to Stop Believing to Live a Successful Life On Your Own Terms

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1. Stop believing that someone else has already defined “success” and the path that must be followed to get there.

When I was growing up there was a silent yet unanimously agreed upon definition of what success looked like in my family. Although it was never openly discussed, it was implied through various conversations and decisions I was directly or indirectly included in. The bottom line is that, although challenging, giving up other people’s definition of success is incredibly liberating and ultimately leads to the fullest expression of who you are. Just think about it…Other people aren’t going to live with the results of your choices. So why would you live according to their contrived definition of success? Have you ever honestly asked yourself what success means to YOU? Or have you simply adopted your definition and beliefs from everyone around you? For far too many us, the answer is the latter. By understanding the essence of your goals and how YOU define success, it’s easi…

Ted Talk: Chris Abani - 'On Humanity'

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Morning Friends,

This week, I want to share with you a fascinating Ted Talk I stumbled upon. In this talk, Chris Abani tells stories of people: People standing up to soldiers. People being compassionate. People being human and reclaiming their humanity. It's "ubuntu," he says: the only way for me to be human is for you to reflect my humanity back at me. It is a fascinating speech and one that resonates with me.

https://www.ted.com/talks/chris_abani_muses_on_humanity

Enjoy!

Macron And The Case For The Nigerian Youth!

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For many of us watching from the African lens, the emergence of 39 years old Emmanuel Macron as president of France (a first world country) was the stuff of dreams. In a continent where grey hair is a pre-requisite to climb the defied political ladder, the hysteria was to be expected.

In the wake of Macron’s victory, the Nigerian youth has been brought forward for immense backlash. The critics argue that while a vast majority of our youths’ frolic around political godfathers for mere crumbs, Macron provides an example of how it should be done. The point sounds plausible upon arrival but a deeper reflection shows it is tantamount to turning logic on its head; it is a single story. Macron was an outlier, similar to Trump. It is a testament to the democracies of the United States and France that outliers can emerge into mainstream politics without having to float their own parties or run as individual candidates. The case is not same in Nigeria and the constitutional premise put the yo…

7 Life-Changing Truths Most People Are Too Scared (or Too Stubborn) to Admit

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1. The vast majority of our struggles are self-created, and we can choose to overcome them in an instant.

2. We fear the judgments of others, even though their judgments about us are rarely valid or significant.

3. In many ways, our past experiences have conditioned us to believe that we are less capable than we are.

4. Real pain, heartbreak and failure are outcomes that can help us grow.

5. We have to give some things up to get what we ultimately want in life.

6. Passion is not something we find, it’s something we do.

7. There will never be a better time to start than right now.

(MARCANDANGEL).

Of Conte And His Imperious Champions

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When he walked through the revolving doors at Stamford Bridge, few touted him as the real McCoy. Miles away, somewhere in Manchester, resided the main event. It was all about the ingenious tactician, Pep Guardiola, and the serial winner, Jose Mourinho. They were the dual box office beside which every manager and every other pre-season story had to pale in comparison.

Make no mistakes about it, Antonio Conte did not arrive in a quest to have a surgical operation on his ailing career. He had won three Serie A titles on the bounce and had led his team to a Champions League final. More importantly, he left Juventus in the best possible healthy state going into the future. It was Chelsea who needed an operation. A season of indescribable little but fatal foxes had led to a league season finish of 10th place, after being champions the previous. The reality was that Conte’s arrival to the Bridge inflated hopes but it was an appointment that still had its many critics. With player power bein…