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Showing posts from 2017

It’s Not Personal!

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When one stops taking what other people do or say personally, one is no longer in conflict with them - Suma Varughese

I have come to learn a great truth about people and their reaction towards me, which is ‘It’s not about me.’ You need to learn to stop taking things to heart. Everyone just wants to get by, and in a dog-eat-dog environment like ours, everyone wants to survive. When all is said and done, it is not personal; it rarely is. Understanding this will free you from the shackles of un-forgiveness and give a new lease of life to your spirit.

People do what they do because that is what their mind, ego selves or situations cause them to do. It has very little to do with us. Unfortunately, we take it all personally, and feel angry, jealous, hurt or sad. And when they do things that benefit us, or give a boost to our ego selves by complimenting us or showing their affection for us, we feel happy, self-congratulatory or validated. But that too has nothing to do with us. Those who li…

40 Hard Things You Need to Hear

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1. When you hear only what you want to hear, you’re not really listening. Listen to what you don’t want to hear too. That’s how you grow.

2. Fantasizing about other times and places can be dangerous. Don’t cling so tightly to the past, or dream so fervently about the future, that you miss out on the real value and beauty that is here and now. Don’t live entirely in your head. Don’t miss your life!

3. You often waste your time waiting for the ideal path to appear. But it never does. Because you forget that paths are made by walking, not waiting.

4. You will never feel as confident as you want to feel. Stop believing that you should feel more confident before you take the next step. Taking the next step is what builds your confidence.

5. Distractions will get the best of you if you let them. Study your routines, figure out where your time goes, and remove distractions. You become a true master of your life when you learn how to master your focus—where your attention goes.

6.…

One Hard Thing You Must Admit Before Your Life Slips Away

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Admitting the Hard Truth, and Embracing It

Where you are and what you’re doing at any given moment is absolutely essential.

Because it is the only moment guaranteed to you.

You are not on your way somewhere else.

You are not progressing to a more important time or place.

The present is not just a stepping-stone—it is the ultimate destination, and you have already arrived.

This moment is where your greatest power lies.

This moment is your life!

It might seem obvious, but, again, I forget. And I know you do too.

All day, every day, many of us feel like the present isn’t enough—like our life isn’t worthy of our full presence. It’s a hard truth, but we have to admit…

We are continuously thinking about what’s to come, as if it’s not enough to appreciate what we have in front of us right now.
We sit down to relax for a moment and then immediately feel the urge to read something on our phones, check social media, or text someone, as if relaxing for a moment isn’t enough.
We procrastinate …

Everyone will not understand you

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The day we kill the need for validation is the day we truly begin to live – Samuel Okonkwo

You don’t owe anyone an explanation for your opinions, beliefs, and perceptions. Every man has a right to forge his own views. Not everybody will understand your journey; that is okay. You are here to live your life not to make everyone understand. Be conscious of this at all times. Not everyone will understand what you want to accomplish in your career. Maybe you want a new job but the people in your life tell you to forget about it and just be happy where you are. Or, you want a new career, but you are told it doesn't make sense or you won't make enough money. Or, you want to start a business that you have been thinking about for years, and you hear about how no one will visit your establishment.

Do you have career dreams or wishes that you want to come true, but when you tell people your thoughts they have no idea what you are saying? Or, they understand your words, but then they try…

10 Regrets Too Many People Will Have in 10 Years

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1. Not spending enough quality time with the right people. — At some point, you’ll just want to be around the few people who make you smile for all the right reasons. So today, spend more time with those who help you love yourself more—spend more time with those who make you feel good, and less time with those who you feel pressured to impress. Never be too busy to make room in your day for the ones who matter most. And remember that nothing you can give will ever be more appreciated than your sincere, focused attention—your full presence. Truly being with someone, and listening without a clock and without anticipation of the next event, is the ultimate compliment.

2. Not expressing your love openly and honestly with those you love. — Without question, you’re going to lose people in your life. Realize that no matter how much time you spend with someone, or how much you appreciate them, sometimes it will never seem like you had enough time together. Don’t learn this lesson the h…

Nigeria @ 57: Teething Problems, Clutching Straws and Deceiving Self

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‘The most significant appeal of President Buhari’s candidacy in 2015 was the national consensus then that he would be principled, decisive, firm and precise on matters of public morality. Sadly, his failure to act promptly and decisively at critical moments when the public expected clarity has dulled his original appeal and cast doubts on his sincerity. In the process, the dividing line between right and wrong in our nation has further blurred. Therefore, the burden for the president at this most critical period is twofold: first to salvage the credibility of his wobbly administration and, most importantly, to restore public confidence in his personal integrity as a genuine national leader and moral beacon.’
- Segun Adeniyi (ThisDay 28th September 2017).


As the nation ushers in the routine pomp and pageantry that accompanies her Independence Day anniversary, the mood is dampen by a collective frustration and national disappointment. I had culled the above from Segun’s article on the b…

The World is a Beautiful Place

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Most of us don’t even realize how amazing our lives are. People lose the appreciation of their beautiful lives while concentrating on problems and being pessimistic about their current “terrible situation”. We consider thousands of things in our lives for granted, because it’s totally normal for us, like being able to have a shower, or to have food on our tables, day after day. Furthermore, the vast majority of us do not have to worry on whether they are going to have something to eat for the next day, as our main trouble is on what to eat the next day – something that might be a pure luxury for someone living in an area where there are limited resources of food. Have you ever noticed the fact that slum dwellers in Nigeria and even more dire places are often even happier than many in so called civilized nations, even though they lack so many things from food to – pure luxury articles like a TV – that some of us consider to be ordinary? Could it be that these people appreciate their l…

7 Smart Yet Simple Ways to Handle Difficult People

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1. Practice detaching yourself from other people’s bias opinions. — You may not be able control all the things people say and do, but you can decide not to be reduced by them. The way people treat you is their problem, how you respond internally is yours. What you need to remember is that the things people say and do to you is much more about them, than you. People’s reactions to you are about their perspectives, biases and past experiences. Whether people think you’re amazing, or believe you’re disgusting, again, is more about them and how they view the world. Now, I’m not suggesting we should be self-indulged narcissists and ignore all the opinions and commentary we receive from others. I’m simply saying that incredible amounts of hurt, disappointment and sadness in our lives come directly from our tendency to take things too personally. In most cases it’s far more productive and healthy to let go of other people’s good or bad opinions of you, and to operate with your own in…

You Think Anybody Really Cares About You?

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The movie, ‘Rocky’ is renowned for many things, but none of these things compares to the life lessons that this movie is laced with. This is one of such lessons from the movie: ‘Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain’t all sunshine and rainbows. It’s a very mean and nasty place and I don’t care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain’t about how hard you hit. It’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That’s how winning is done! Now if you know what you’re worth then go out and get what you’re worth. But you gotta be willing to take the hits, and not pointing fingers saying you ain’t where you wanna be because of him, or her, or anybody! Cowards do that and that ain’t you! You’re better than that’

The sad thing is that some people are so fixated about how they show up, how they are being …

4 Little Things that Will Matter a Lot More to You in 40 Years

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1. Treating your very limited time each day with care.

As time passes, you naturally have more of it behind you and less of it in front of you. The distant future, then, gradually has less value to you personally. But that doesn’t really matter, because the good life always begins right now, when you stop waiting for a better one. Some people wait all day for 5pm, all week for Friday, all year for the holidays, all their lives for happiness. But you don’t have to be one of them. Don’t wait until your life is almost over to realize how good it has been. A life uncluttered by most of the meaningless drama, distraction, and busyness people fill their lives with, leaving us with space for what’s truly meaningful. A life that isn’t constant rushing, worrying and stress, but instead contemplation, creation, and connection with the people and projects that matter most to us.

By redefining our priorities, and building healthy rituals to back them up, we’ve literally been able to chang…

Life Lessons From Mayweather’s Victory

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1. Risk Must Be Calculated
For the overtly enthusiastic like me that followed most of the buildup leading up to the main event at Las Vegas, one thing was clear; the preparations in both Floyd and Conor’s camps were surreal. From a series of strenuous exercises in a specialized hydrotherapy pool to thorough paces at the gym, Conor McGregor was giving nothing away. However, for Floyd Mayweather and his Money team, they had their jobs well cut out. Mayweather was coming out of retirement at age 40 to risk his 49-match unbeaten record. Signing off to this duel was putting his place at the Hall of Fame at risk. However, it was a calculated one. The decision to pick up his gloves after about two years of inactivity was made easier by the choice of the opponent. McGregor was never a boxer. He is a martial artist at best. And while the outlier nature of the opponent must have been a risk in itself, Mayweather has been long enough in this business to know that it was a risk that was worth it…

5 Hard Things You Have to Do to Move Forward with Your Life

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1. Practice thinking better about yourself.

You have to admit, you’ve spent a lot of your life subconsciously belittling yourself. Thinking you’re not enough. Trying to be someone else. Someone who fits in. Someone who’s less sensitive. Less needy. Less flawed. Less YOU. Because you felt broken, and you didn’t want to scare people away. You wanted them to like you. You wanted to make a good impression. You wanted to be seen as worthy and loveable. So you could feel healed and whole. And so for the longest time, behind a facade of fake smiles, you have inadvertently betrayed yourself for the purpose of pleasing everyone else. And for longest time, your heart has ached.

But you’re at a point now where you’re seeing things differently. The heartache just isn’t worth it anymore. Belittling yourself for one more day just doesn’t make any sense. And more than that, you now realize no matter what you do or how you change, some people will never be pleased anyway. You now rea…

Football is Back!

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As the world attempts to recover from the hysteria that was ‘Neymar’s deal to PSG’, football creeps on us again and offers us a slight reminder that ‘It’s about me and I am almost back’. The end of every football season across Europe ushers in new anticipation almost immediately. There are summers where football is extended either by a continental event or by the confederations cup; but even that pales in comparison to European league blitz and excitement. Yet, even among the elite leagues in Europe, it is a consensus that while the English Premier League might not be the league with the best quality of football, it is light years ahead of its peers in excitement, competitiveness and glamour. The Premier league has come of age. From insane money injection to TV rights deals that astounds the mind, the 2017/2018 season promises to be even better.

At the beginning of last season, most bookmakers predicted a two-horse race between the Manchester clubs. The deflection of attention suited…

Life Gives Every Man His Own Share Of Pain

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All men is dealt a measure of pain – Unknown

As the cliché goes, everyone is fighting something. Life gives each man his own fair share of troubles, hurts and demons. No one is spared. Don’t let appearance or status delude you, we all have issues in our lives and we all have that one thing we struggle to tell anyone about. Some of us have just made a mastery of dealing with it diligently and astutely without finding sympathizers.

If you live very long enough, you will discover that everyman has his own fair share of pain. Do not let appearances and outlook fool you. We are all fighting something and as T.D jakes once put it ‘We all have a private wound in a private place.’ It is for this reason that you have to be careful when you point an accusing finger to the next man. When you see a child go wayward, don’t be quick to throw jibes at the parent for doing a poor job at parenthood. You simply don’t know the full story. And as it often happens in life, your case might be worse. Somet…

3 Toxic Behaviors that Drain Your Mental Energy

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1. Your inner craving to control the uncontrollable.

Letting go of control… and being OK with it. That is one of the greatest struggles many of us deal with on a daily basis, myself included. Because letting go of control goes directly against our modernized, industrialized way of living – we are go-getters, doers, architects of our destiny. We build things and make things happen on our own terms; we don’t wait for anything to happen on someone else’s terms! At least that’s what I learned growing up from teachers, sports coaches, movies, songs, magazine articles, and so forth. So allowing things to happen was not in my DNA. I had never been one to sit back and passively let go of control.

Over the years, however, my perspective has shifted. I’ve learned the hard way that a great deal of the control we believe we have over our lives is an illusion. For example, I’ve since met…The only choice we have: Let go, and be mindful…In the game of life, we all receive a unique set of un…