Amazon Customer Review - The Path Less Travelled: 50 Life Reflections From Living and Learning

This Book Is Gripping!

Flipping through the pages will evoke some nolstagia in you, the type only felt when reading the works of authors like Stephen Covey and John Maxwell. I'm careful not to rank this newbie among these great inspirational authors, but my heart won't let me.

Samuel Okonkwo's writing style aspires to art and his examples are succinct. The reservoir of quotable lines from renowned authors and speakers throughout the book will keep every avid reader enthralled.

Hopefully, an audio version of this book is out soon, so I can listen to it every single day!

Link to book (https://www.amazon.com/Path-Less-Travelled-Reflections-Learning/dp/1540663507).

5 Things to Stop Doing to Yourself When Life Doesn’t Go as Planned

1. Stop letting every little problem get the best of you.
Inner peace begins the moment you take a deep breath and choose not to allow another person or event to control your emotions. In other words, the greater part of your happiness or misery in the long run depends heavily on your attitude, not your circumstances. If you’re stressed out by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your interpretation of it; and this is something you have the power to change. It’s not easy, but it is entirely possible with practice. It all starts with establishing a baseline level of positive thinking in your daily life. Make it a habit! You need to train your mind to see the good in everything, even when things don’t go as planned. Life is a series of thousands of tiny miracles. Notice them. Notice again and again how fortunate you are. The evidence is all around you, and it’s beautiful, and well worth gathering into your awareness. And keep in mind that it takes roughly 66 days to form a new habit like this. So for the next nine weeks, wake up every morning and look at the bright side of your life, and you will begin to rewire your brain.

2. Stop expecting an easy journey to all your goals.
Be patient, but don’t just sit there expecting everything to be easy. Good things don’t come to those who wait for the “easy” way. And patience in life is not about waiting around; it’s the ability to keep a good attitude while working hard for what you believe in. Decades from now when you’re resting on your deathbed, you will not remember the days that were easy, you will cherish the moments when you rose above your difficulties and conquered goals of magnitude. You will dream of the strength you found within yourself that allowed you to achieve what once seemed impossible. So don’t do what’s easy, do what you’re capable of today. Astound yourself with your own resilience. And remember, one of the most important moments on any journey is the moment you finally find the courage to let go of what can’t be changed. Because, when you are no longer able to change the obstacles in front of you, you are challenged to change yourself from within—to grow beyond the unchangeable obstacles. And that changes absolutely everything.

3. Stop resisting your imperfections.
Every one of us is a perfectionist about something. Learn to sense when your desire to make something perfect is preventing you from getting it done well. Realize that the idea of perfection is not only unachievable, it can destroy your otherwise productive mindset. It will keep you running in place, feeling insane for your entire life. If you feel like you’re running in place right now, take a break and reflect. Think about the difference between diligent effort and perfectionism, and figure out what is triggering you. Because whatever triggers you also reveals what you need to heal. Do your best to bring conscious awareness to what’s going through your worried mind when you’re not feeling good enough. Why do you feel this way? Who are you with this train of thought? Who would you be, and what else would you see, if you removed it? Know when enough is enough!

4. Stop looking past the moment you’re living in.
Isn’t it strange how life works? You want something and you work for it and wait for it and work for it and wait for it, and you feel like it’s taking forever to arrive. Then it happens and it’s over and all you want to do is curl back up in that moment before things changed. So, how can you avoid these feelings of loss and confusion? By being more present every step of the way. Pursue your goals and dreams while at the same time enjoying the journey of getting there. Embrace the step you’re taking, even when you feel like you’ve lost your footing. Sometimes the road gets bumpy. Every step doesn’t have to be comfortable or perfectly placed. By letting go of what “should” happen or what “could” happen every step of the way, you free up your life to various little surprises and joys. You may not lead the exact life you want, but you will lead a meaningful, miraculous existence, guaranteed. Life is sometimes difficult, but it’s not a chore. Make it an adventure. Make it fun. Make a choice to feel good about yourself, about your world, about your possibilities and the step you’re taking right now.

5. Stop expecting everyone to be as kind, courteous, or caring as you are.
You will end up sadly disappointed if you expect people will always do for you as you do for them. Not everyone has the same heart as you. Be kind anyway! And remember, being kind to someone you dislike doesn’t mean you’re fake. It means you’re mature enough to control your emotions. So be kinder than necessary today. What goes around comes around in the long run. No one has ever made themselves strong by showing how small someone else is.

(MarcandAngel).

Life - Don't Judge Yourself After Round One

Football is my thing. Yet, just when I thought I have seen it all, the game sprouts out twists and counter-plots; scripts that defies any sound permutations I held. Few, and I mean few in honest terms, expected Ajax to stand a chance over Real Madrid after the first leg in the UEFA Champions League. Same can also be said of Manchester United after their pathetic first leg showing against the French champions, PSG. The same is also true of the chances of Juventus after slumping to a two-goal defeat against Atletico Madrid who is considered to have the best defence in Europe. Atletico's motivation was also fuelled by the prospect of contesting the final at their home stadium, the Wanda Metropolitano. In all of the foregoing three instances, the odds were defied, form books were torned to shreads and the teams with the bigger 'cojones' on the day, won.

In life, it is easy to reach conclusions after a string of events. A series of bad occurrences stemming from poor choices might have left you in the lurch. You might have even looked at the first leg of your life and concluded that there is only how far you can go, but these are some of the little lies we tell ourselves. As Youtuber Gary Vee will say 'You are still as young as f**k irrespective of your age.' Never believe the suggestion that you are too old to go back to school, too old to change your career path, too old to follow your true passion, too old to find love, too old to chase that business or even too old to run that marathon.

The first half of your life should never be the final arbiter in the scheme of things. In football, it is certainly great to start the match with an early goal or a couple of goals. It makes the game easier and put you in the early lead, but if I have ever learnt anything in all my years as a football acolyte, it is that you can never judge a game by the first half. The result as at full time is all that is important. I have seen too many football games with great comebacks, and all three games I'd highlighted earlier are glaring instances that you can never reach hasty conclusions till the game is over. This is also true with Life. There are always rooms for comebacks. The first barrier to break however, is that mental model in your head that gives you all the reasons why 'It can't be you' and why 'you have already past it.'

At times, it is sacrosanct to remind yourself why you started anything before you throw in the towel. Your motivation for starting might be required to fan the embers of your strained courage and weak optimism. That night, when Juventus defeated Atletico Madrid, the Italian side reminded themselves of this truth. Ronaldo, who had scored three on the night said afterwards 'This was why Juventus bought me.' Never lose your 'why' for you will need it in your dark days.

And finally, you must always ride your luck. Football is a game of small but fine margins. And same can be said of life. In the game between PSG and Manchester United, PSG had the brighter chances. The winning goal came with two minutes to the end of the game via a penalty decision that still split opinions today. What is more important is that when this stroke of luck broke their way, United seized it with sheer corresponding action. Make no mistakes about it, you will get lucky breaks in life. Even on your terrible days when the rains of life come to you in torrents, there will still be silver linings, a reprieve in the cloud and some breaking lights. The big question is 'Can you see them on days like that? And are you able to ride your luck fully when they break for you?' They say life always gives us second chances, but it will count for nothing if we don't leverage these second chances when they come our way.

Cacophony (Excerpt from my first novel).

The darkness was piercing and loud, the type that made sleep sonorous and waking up, a burden. It was past 5 a.m. in Oboda-Akpu, and the moon was beginning to bid its final goodbye. Nkem had barely smothered off his donjon of dreams before the screeching voice of Mama snapped him out of wonderland; he was wrapping up the dream by then. It was the kind of dream that lends itself to diverse interpretations. A dream where he had just eaten ofe onugbu and pounded yam was not one he was happy to wake up from, and as if the fetish was not enough, he had downed it with a bottle of Heineken. It was the kind of delicacy that made sleeping a profitable venture for someone whose real-life realities deny such pleasures.

‘Nkem, get up. It’s already 5 a.m. and you need to attend to the chores before the day breaks fully.’ Turning on the other side of his bed, he beheld Mama’s peering eyes which were still pouring on him. It was the peering eyes of the arriving sun that woke him up. He had planned to make love to sleep. Mama’s eyes were still on him. They were telling eyes forged by endless penury, dashed hopes and crushed dreams. Word on the grapevine had it that Mama was once a damsel, who both looked the part and had the brains to go with it. The naysayers once joked that her beauty demanded more from the creator than any other living thing. However, poverty and tradition conspired to leave her impoverished and reduced her to the mere housewife of the village nuisance, Da Amadi. Her looks were still extant, but it had been toned down by the strains of life.

Da Amadi was the vintage ‘never do well’ husband, a poster boy for a failed man - at least by society’s yardstick. The gist had always been that he was reeling from a curse he knew nothing about. The untamed ‘third leg’ of his father unleashed the wrath of Mpi, the village god. Cries of defiled girls made the otherwise benevolent Mpi furious. Da Amadi’s father was notorious for his proclivities, and in a village where secrets are a distant dream, everyone knew his story. Mothers warned their daughters to flee from him, and his fellow men revered him for his sexual escapades. Such was his sex drive that it defied even the testosterone impact. And while Mpi did not make his son, Da Amadi, follow in his steps, he made him a brilliant nuisance. He was a paradox of a man whose lips dripped of so much wisdom, yet his nonchalance and excessive alcohol indulgences would not allow him to thrive. Da Amadi’s father did not end well – or so the story goes. He was inflicted by an unknown illness, the kind of illness that was both long and torturous. It was a no-brainer for the villagers to conclude that the gods were taking their toll. It was a testimony to the cliché that, ‘the mill of the gods grinds slowly but surely.’

Link to access the novel on Amazon (https://www.amazon.com/Cacophony-Novel-Samuel-Kelvin-Okonkwo/dp/1729808557/ref=sr_1_fkmrnull_1?keywords=cacophony+samuel&qid=1551786431&s=gateway&sr=8-1-fkmrnull).

9 Signs You May Actually Rest in Peace Someday (With No Regrets)

1. You are committed to being who you truly are, unapologetically.
Where’s your will to be weird? Where’s your resolution to be real?

Truth be told, it’s not weird to be weird. Everybody is weird in some way. You must celebrate your individuality and not be embarrassed of it. If you’re lucky enough to have something that makes you different, don’t be ashamed and don’t change. Uniqueness is priceless. In this crazy world that’s trying to make you like everyone else, find the courage to be your remarkable self.

One of the most influential sources of both peace and happiness is simply being comfortable with who you really are. Not trading your reality for a role, or your truth for an act. Not giving up your freedom of thought. Not putting on a mask. There simply cannot be peace and happiness in your external life until you are at peace within yourself, being yourself. It won’t always be easy, but no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning your inner truth.

Being unapologetically YOU is worth it!

2. You are walking a path that makes you feel alive.
Today, work to create a life that feels right to YOU, not one that looks right to everyone else. Your worst inner battle will always be between what you know and what you feel. And one of the hardest decisions you will ever have to make is when to stay put and try harder, or when to just take your memories and move on. Sometimes you have to step outside of the person you’ve been, and remember the person you were meant to be, the person you are capable of being, and the person you truly are.

Your life is your message to the world; make sure it’s personally meaningful. Allow yourself more moments of awe and wonder and passion and grace. Don’t let anyone’s ignorance, hate, drama or negativity stop you. And don’t let them dim your light simply because it’s shining in their eyes.

If you desire to make a difference in the world, you must be different from the world. Dare to walk alone, and don’t be scared to like it. Remind yourself that you don’t have to do what everyone else is doing. You’ve got to do what’s right for you, even if some people disagree.

3. You are sincerely doing your very best.
The saddest summary of a life is just five words long: “Could have and should have.” Decide that you want it more than you are afraid of it. Decide the work is worth the end result. Yes, sometimes life seems hard, but we often make it harder than it is. All you ever have to decide is what to do next.

Say it out loud: “I am who I am today because of the choices I made yesterday. I will be who I am tomorrow because of the choices I make today.” Instead of complaining about your circumstances, get busy creating new ones. You either suffer the pain of discipline or the pain of regret.

4. You are fully embracing reality (even when it hurts).
It’s better to be hurt by the truth than comforted by a lie. The truth will always set you free in the end, but it may drive you mad for a while before then. Breathe deeply. Give yourself the space you need to think clearly. Take it one day at a time.

Live simply. Love generously. Speak truthfully. Work diligently. Then let go and let what’s meant to be, BE.

Letting go is often a step forward. Sometimes you have to walk away from what you thought you wanted to find what you truly need and deserve. Sometimes you just have to forget what’s gone, appreciate what remains, do the best you can, and look forward to what’s coming next.

Remember, faith isn’t the belief that life will always give you what you want. It’s the belief that life will gradually reveal what’s right.

5. You are working through your fears.
Nothing in life is to be feared, it is only to be lived and learned. Now is the time to live and learn more. Have a little faith that the universe has a plan for you, and it’s all being revealed in the right time frame. Something you will eventually learn through all your ups and downs is that there are really no wrong decisions in life, just choices that will take your life down different paths. Sometimes you must get hurt in order to grow, or lose in order to gain. Sometimes the lesson you need most can only be learned through a little pain.

Running from fear is a race you’ll never win. In fact, what you’re afraid of dealing with is what will set you free. So don’t let your fear decide for you. Don’t let it shut you down; let it wake you up. Take chances, follow your intuition, and get excited. Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is often worse than the suffering itself.

Everything you want is on the other side of fear. Don’t ever hesitate to give yourself a chance to be everything you are capable of being.

6. You are rolling with life, instead of against it.
Stop focusing on how stressed you are and remember how blessed you are. We often forget that happiness doesn’t come as a result of getting something we don’t have, but of deeply appreciating what we do have. So stop looking for reasons to be upset. Focus on the things you do have and the reasons you should be happy. Positivity changes everything. A happy person is not a person who’s always in a good situation, but rather a person who always has a good attitude in every situation.

Someday you will realize that life is like an ocean. It can be calm and serene or rough and wild, but in the end it’s always beautiful to those willing to ride the waves.

7. You are lifting others up with your kindness.
Three things define you: Your patience when you have nothing, your attitude when you have everything, and who you help whenever you’re able.

Yes, it takes a great deal of strength to be gentle and kind, but you are much stronger than you think. Even when times are tough, be positive and go above and beyond for those who need you most. In a world full of people who couldn’t care less, be someone who couldn’t care more. Be someone who makes someone else look forward to tomorrow. Act like what you do today makes a difference. It does.

To paraphrase Ralph Waldo Emerson, the purpose of life is not just to be happy, but also to be helpful, to be honorable, to be kind and compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.

8. You are making plenty of time for the people you love most.
When we pay attention to each other we breathe new life into each other. With frequent attention and affection our relationships flourish, and we as individuals grow stronger. This is the side effect of great relationships—we help heal each other’s wounds and support each other’s strengths. So stay in close touch with those you care about—communicate openly on a regular basis. Not because it’s convenient, but because these people are worth the extra effort.

In the end, the best investment of your limited time on Earth will be to spend it with people you love. Although it’s perhaps conceivable that you may lie on your deathbed someday regretting that you didn’t work harder and check every little thing off your to-do list, it’s doubtful that your work will be your biggest concern. What’s more likely, however, is that you will wish you could have one more romantic night with your spouse, another long, heartfelt talk with your sister, and one last good hard laugh with your best friend.

Life is too short to be too busy for the people you love.

9. You are in the habit of pausing at least once a day to appreciate what you have.
We are born in one moment. We die in one moment. Life changes every moment. Anything can happen in the blink of an eye. Make your life count by noticing it. Pay attention. Live today with your eyes wide open. Wisdom is not just knowing when to stand up and make moves, but when to sit still and be present. It’s knowing your full presence is never a waste of time.

We often take for granted the very things that most deserve our attention and gratitude. How often do you pause to appreciate your life and everyone and everything in it? How often do you stop dead in your tracks, just to take a deep breath and smile?

Look around, and be thankful right now. For your health, your family, your friends, and your home.

Nothing lasts forever.

(MARCANDANGEL).