Showing posts from 2018

The Art of Governance is not Rocket Science

They say time reveals everything, and nothing can be truer. As the last days of President Buhari pitters out, majority of Nigerians are reeling from almost four years of botched promises. For some, it was a complete fraud while for the unrepentant opposition, it was a confirmation of what they hoped. There are certain presidential dispensations that require a thorough retrospective work to determine their success or failure; the sense you get for the Buhari dispensation is that it has already judged itself and there might be no need to keep the jury out.

It is important to unequivocally state that anyone that dare say that our lot as a nation would have been better if the administration of president Goodluck Jonathan got a second chance, is either deluded or ignorant of the issues. The startling revelations uncovered by the Buhari administration simply showed that the nation was being raped, and it was only a matter of time before we self-implode. Yet, it wasn’t enough that the Buhar…

10 Ways to Handle Stressful Life Transitions

1. MINDSET. MINDSET. MINDSET! Even in the middle of uncertainty you’ve got to continuously tell yourself that somehow, some way, “I will figure this out and make this work.” You’ve got to believe in yourself and your abilities and keep the positivity flowing through your mind.

2. Gratitude. During this transition, it’s so important to practice gratitude. Remember that no matter what you’re going through there is always something to be grateful for, somebody is always in a far worse situation, with a much better outlook on life. So why can’t you do the same?

3. Be vulnerable (in a good way).
Being vulnerable does not mean you let people kick you when you’re down or take advantage of you. It means that you understand that feelings of fear, anxiety or sadness may come with the stress of transition and that it’s okay to talk about these things. Keeping them bottled up will only hinder you.

4. Get out there and be proactive!
Try to be in control as much as you can of your transition, if yo…

9 Mindful Ways to Remain Calm When Others Are Angry

1. Get comfortable with pausing.

Don’t imagine the worst when you encounter a little drama. When someone is acting irrationally, don’t join them by rushing to make a negative judgment call. Instead, pause. Take a deep breath…

Sometimes good people behave poorly under stress. Don’t you? When you pause, it gives you space to collect your thoughts and it also allows the other person the space to take a deep breath with you. In most cases, that extra time and space is all we need.

2. Respect people’s differences.

Learn to respect the opinions of others. Just because someone does it differently doesn’t make it wrong. There are many roads to what’s right in this world. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion.

So choose your battles wisely. And just agree to disagree sometimes.

It is absolutely possible to connect with, and even appreciate the company of, someone you don’t completely agree with. When you make a commitment to remain neutral on matters that don’t matter that muc…

Of Snakes and Monkeys: The Joke is on Us

It is one of the hallmarks of our coping mechanism as a people that we find the funny side of every inimical event. Yet, there comes a time when we need to behold our collective sensibility and tell ourselves some home truth. At a time when high school children in the United States are standing up to President Trump, Congress and the powerful National Rifle Association (NRA) in the wake of the 17 kids killed at Stoneman Douglas in Florida, we in Nigeria are seeing the funny side of our quagmire and sorry state. It was a thing of cruel joke when the news broke that snakes had carted away a whopping 36 million naira from the headquarters of the Joint Admission Matriculation Board. While we regurgitated on the madness, news filtered through on the real reason why Abdullahi Adamu (Nasarawa – APC) was removed as chairman of the Northern Senators Forum. According to the maverick, Shehu Sani, about 70 million naira belonging to the group was claimed to have been carted away by monkeys in a …

15 Tiny Stories for Those Who Have Lost Their Motivation

1. “Today marks a full year that I’ve been eating right and working out daily. This time last year I weighed 301 pounds. When I saw my weight on the scale at the doctor’s office I knew it was time for a change. Now, after a year of exercising my will power, and using no dieting pills or gastric bands, or anything artificial, I went back to the doctor’s office for my annual check-up. “172 pounds,” my doctor said. “You know, your positive lifestyle changes just added roughly 10 years to your life expectancy.” My 11-year-old daughter, who came with me, grabbed my hand and said, “I look forward to spending those extra years with you, mommy.”

2. “The drummer in our local jazz band, Nick, is legally deaf, and has been since he was born. But he can still hear low bass tones and feel the vibrations from the drums and other instruments. Honestly, he’s such an incredible drummer, most people don’t believe he’s deaf. Sometimes I can’t believe it myself.”

3. “This morning, on my 47th bir…

A Lot Depends On Your Perspective

“When life comes and sweeps you off your feet, you have the choice to remain on the ground where people will coddle you or get up so people will be inspired by you. It’s not easy, but change never is.” – Neal Samudre

Typically, when we’re worried or upset, it’s because we’ve lost perspective. Everything that is happening in our lives seems so big, so important, so do or die, but in the grand picture, this single hiccup often means next to nothing. The fight we’re having, the job we didn’t get, the real or imagined slight, the unexpected need to shift course, the thing we wanted, but didn’t get. Most of it won’t matter 20, 30, 40 years from now. It’s hard to see long term when all you know is short term, but unless it’s life-threatening, let it go, and move on. It is really how you choose to see that determines if it is a bad or a good situation.

Have you ever wondered why some people are continuously ‘lucky’? Everything seems to go right for them, they are rarely upset and have a con…

4 Things We Think We Need Today that Won’t Matter at All in the Long Run

1. We think we need all those text messages, social updates, memes, and perfect Instagram pics.

If it entertains you now but will hurt or bore you someday, it’s a distraction. Don’t settle. Don’t exchange what you want most for what you kind of want at the moment. Study your habits. Figure out where your time goes, and remove distractions. It’s time to focus on what matters. A good place to start? Learn to be more human again. Don’t avoid eye contact. Don’t hide behind gadgets. Smile often. Ask about people’s stories. Listen. You can’t connect with anyone, including yourself, unless you are undistracted and present. And you can’t be either of the two when you’re Facebooking, Instagramming or Snapchatting your life away. You just can’t! If you are constantly attached to your smartphone and only listening with your ears as your eyes check for the next social update, you are ripping yourself off of actually experiencing real relationships and real life. The same is true f…

2019 And The Search For A Third Force

It is one of the maladies of our electoral system that government literally plummets and enters a phase of stagnation on the eve of every general election year. What is even sadder is the fact that government funds meant for the collective good become earmarked for electioneering purposes, all to the detriment of the Nigeria state. Yet, these are hardly the issues on the front burner of many Nigerians. We have come to accept this as norm and rather keep our gaze on more weightier issues like ‘Ebuka’s agbada to the BAAD event’ and the ‘reconciliation of Davido and Wizkid’ at the latter’s Yuletide concert. After all, these are the issues that will help us temporarily forget about our sorry state in what Trump called a ‘shithole.’

However, at no time has an impending general election attained more significance in the history of our fledgling democracy than now. The stakes are at an all-time high, the issues are sacrosanct, the national pain is excruciating and most importantly, there is…

4 Powerful Lessons You Gradually Learn as You Let Go of the Past

1. You can have a heartbreaking story from the past, without letting it rule your present.

In the present moment, we all have some kind of pain: anger, sadness, frustration, disappointment, regret, etc.

Notice this pain within yourself, watch it closely, and see that it’s caused by whatever story you have in your head about what happened in the past (either in the recent past or in the distant past). Your mind might insist that the pain you feel is caused by what happened (not by the story in your head about it), but what happened in the past is NOT happening right now. It’s over. It has passed. But the pain is still happening right now because of the story you’ve been subconsciously telling yourself about that past incident.

Note that “story” does not mean “fake story.” It also does not mean “true story.” The word “story” in the context of your self-evaluation doesn’t have to imply true or false, positive or negative, or any other kind of forceful judgment call. It’s simply …

10 Uncomfortable Things You Need to Do If You Don’t Want to Regret 2018

1. Challenge your understandings and certainties. – Life’s richness does not come from always residing within familiar territory. It’s when you venture out, away from the familiar, that you grow stronger and more capable. You must hold tightly to your core values while at the same time opening your heart and mind to new ideas, feelings and experiences. Your own perspective will become clearer when you look at things from different angles. Find ways to provide a healthy challenge to your current understandings of life, and you will discover and experience far more of life’s magic in the year ahead.

2. Track how you invest your energy and make productive shifts. – To attract better outcomes in life, you have to become better on the inside. Again, you can’t do the same things and expect change. You can’t blame someone else. Take full responsibility for the next step. Start transforming your mindset. Start upgrading your habits. Your life is 90% your choice! Seriously, don’t set…

Here We Go Again!

Happy New Year!

Few things compare to the enthusiasm and optimism that greets the dawn of a new year; especially in this part of the world. From prophetic declarations to thematic conjugations, the moment is met with genuine belief and hope that the new year will be substantially better than the preceding one. However, as the razzmatazz, fanfare and excitement gives way to the resumption of normalcy, a few things become sacrosanct.

It goes without saying that many had great aspirations for the year that ‘was’ (2017). For some, the year began with great promise but ended with big disappointments. There are always rationale to explain these things; but whatever your explanation is, one thing was clear: Life happened amidst your plans. It’s fine. 2017 is done and 2018 provides an opportunity to get it right so it is a bloody waste of time to cry over spilt milk. It’s like a football season; some teams with high expectations coming into the season feel short but every player looks to the…