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Showing posts from 2018

The Elder Moves On...

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They say every good thing must come to an end.
They say cherish every moment for you might not have them forever.
They say create many memories while you can, you never know who will move on.
They say goodbye is a bitch. For why do we ever have to say goodbye to those that have become a part of us?

Today we all gather
To garner our thoughts
To unlock our love
To pander our best wishes
To celebrate a man of Olympian heights.

Just like moons and like suns,
With the certainty of tides,
Our love For you is a surety
Just like hopes springing high
Hopes of a girl with a promise of an iPhone x, our hopes that the rest of your life will be a beauty is doubtless.

You are a bundle of unquenching energy
A beehive of unquestionable joy
A good man
An elder whose looks betray his age
A fine gentleman and a man of diverse parts
With hair so black, full and kinky...it makes the ladies aspire.

You mean many things to different people
Some call you elder, others call you unrelenting DJ
But to u…

12 “Notes to Self” About the Hard Things You Need to Do to Be Happy

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1. Note to Self: You need to choose yourself today. – You won’t always be a priority to others, and that’s why you need to be a priority to yourself. Learn to respect yourself, take care of yourself, and become your own support system. Your needs matter. Start meeting them. Make YOUR priorities a top priority. Don’t wait on others to choose you. Choose yourself, today!

2. Note to Self: You need to start long before you feel ready. – If you wait until you feel 100% ready, you will be waiting the rest of your life. Realize this! Some people wait all day for 5pm, all week for Friday, all year for the holidays, all their lives for happiness. Don’t be one of them.

3. Note to Self: You need to let your actions speak loud and clear. – A big part of your life is a result of your choices. If you don’t like some part of your life, it’s time to start making changes and new choices. And it’s OK to be low-key about it. You don’t need to put everything on social media. Silently progre…

Stop And Ponder on These Life Questions…

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Today, I want to share with you some profound questions to help you reflect on life generally. Whatever phase you might be in your life, I hope these questions help you pounder, give you new perspectives and help you soldier on in your journey.

1: What are my values?
What matters to you most in this world? What will you passionately fight for?

2: Am I living my values?
Is there congruence between what you say is important, and what you are doing? Is there any aspect of your life where you are not being true to yourself, or not living in authenticity?

3: In looking back over the last 1-5 years, where did I go right?
Especially in times of difficulty, it's hard to recognize our good decisions, and our wins. Acknowledging them as we intentionally move into the future empowers us to seek out people and experiences that set us up for success.

4: In looking back over the last 1-5 years, where did I go wrong?
Similarly, where did you experience setbacks? Recognizing these setbacks, in t…

7 Big Lessons From The 2018 World Cup!

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The 2018 Russian world cup have been a tale of excitement, glitz and football that keeps giving. To borrow the words of Peter Drury, where does football go from here? That's how good the 64 games played over 30 days have been. Yet, amidst the glitz and fanfare, there were a few takeaways to pick up.

1. Talent is not enough: Portugal and Argentina
That the best two players (Ronaldo and Messi) in the world were out of the World Cup by the round of 16 speaks volume in itself. For all the talent in the world, Ronaldo and Messi couldn't do it on their own. They needed the team. When all is said and done, the stars take you far but the great teams forged with grit, character and teamwork will take you all the way. Both Argentina and Portugal pride themselves with famous names in their squads such as Sergio Aguero, Gonzalo Hinguain and Ricardo Quaresma, but talent wasn't enough. The good old adage still holds true.

2. Reinvent yourself or go extinct: Germany
Germany came into the…

4 Hard Truths About Today that Will Make You a Stronger Person Tomorrow

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1.Everything you love and everything you are comfortable with is changing.

Most of the things we desperately try to hold on to, as if they’re real, solid, everlasting fixtures in our lives, aren’t really there. Or if they are there in some form, they’re changing, fluid, impermanent, or simply imagined in our minds.

Life gets a lot easier to deal with when we understand this.

Imagine you’re blindfolded and treading water in the center of a large swimming pool, and you’re struggling desperately to grab the edge of the pool that you think is nearby, but really it’s not—it’s far away. Trying to grab that imaginary edge is stressing you out, and tiring you out, as you splash around aimlessly trying to hold on to something that isn’t there. Now imagine you pause, take a deep breath, and realize that there’s nothing nearby to hold on to. Just water around you. You can continue to struggle with grabbing at something that doesn’t exist… or you can accept that there’s only water around you,…

Politicians As The Bane Of Nigeria’s Problem

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Part of my ‘getaway technique’ of coping with the myriad of Nigeria’s problems is to have healthy conversations with a few friends who share genuine passion about the state of affairs in the country. It is my opportunity to vent and shed off the burden of frustration that I live with every day as a citizen. Last week, I had a very healthy conversation with a bosom friend who is a popular face on Nigeria television and in the social media space. The discussion touched on a few ‘going on’ at the moment, more critically on the new chairman of the ruling All Progressives Congress (APC), Comrade Adams Oshiomhole. Inevitably, it delved into a conversation about the response and genuineness of our leaders to pivotal issues affecting ‘we the people.’ My friend put it nicely when he said:

‘The vast majority that constitute the political class have no care in the world for the suffering masses of Nigeria. I agree that you cannot change the system (to a considerable degree) unless you are inside…

Short Reflection: Light and Shadow

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One of the greatest lessons we learn in life is that we are often attracted to a bright light in another person. Initially, this light is all we see. It’s so bright and beautiful. But after a while, as our eyes adjust, we notice this light is accompanied by a shadow… and oftentimes a fairly large one.

When we see this shadow, we have two choices: we can either shine our own light on the shadow or we can run from it and continue searching for a shadow-less light.

If we decide to run from the shadow, we must also run from the light that created it. And we soon find out that our light is the only light illuminating the space around us. Then, at some point, as we look closer at our own light, we notice something out of the ordinary. Our light is casting a shadow too. And our shadow is bigger and darker than some of the other shadows we’ve seen.

If, on the other hand, instead of running from the shadow, we decide to walk towards it, something amazing happens. We inadvertently cast…

Mental Health: The Need To Talk

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Thomas (not real name) had not been himself for the last two weeks. Though he often responded with ‘I’m fine’ when asked ‘How are you?’ every morning, his countenance was what gave him away. He wasn’t looking the part and the weak signals were glaring by the day. Yet, where Thomas worked, his friends and colleagues hadn’t picked up the weak signals. He had often wore a smile which was a complete façade that masked his misery, cleverly. I stumbled upon Thomas one day, when I discovered he was suicidal and had been on pills. He was going to take his life in twenty four hours. Every one of us has a ‘Thomas’ we know, that lives with us or that is among us. They are often normal people with seemingly no issues until they do the ‘unthinkable.’ Put more succinctly, you might just be a ‘Thomas’ yourself. Many of us are simply oblivious.

In this part of the world, we like to feign alien to some subjects. It is common place to hear people say things like ‘Suicide is not a Nigerian thing,’ ‘Les…

10 Truths to Keep You Going When Everything Goes Wrong

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1. What happened to you in the past is not happening now. – In the present moment, we all have some kind of pain: anger, sadness, frustration, disappointment, regret, etc. Notice this pain within yourself, watch it closely and see that it’s caused by whatever story you have in your head about what happened in the past (either in the recent past or in the distant past). Your mind might insist that the pain you feel is caused by what happened (not by the story in your head about it), but what happened in the past is NOT happening right now. It’s over. It has passed. The pain, however, is still happening right now because of the story you’ve been subconsciously telling yourself about that past incident. It’s simply a process of your thinking. Do your best to see it for what it is.

2. Life changes from moment to moment, and so can you.
– When hard times hit there’s a tendency to extrapolate and assume the future holds more of the same. For some strange reason this doesn’t happen a…

We Are The Choices We Make

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“I am not a product of my circumstances. I am a product of my decisions.” — Stephen Covey

Our existence comprises of choices that we make. From drinking milk in the morning to attending your least favorite lecture, from buying a blue shirt instead of a green shirt at your favorite store to adding an extra spoon of sugar in your coffee, from painting your bedroom wall pink to finding the balls to speak to your crush — you take a plethora of decisions, make choices, and bear the consequences. Choices are everywhere. Despite our parents making most of our decisions for our better and brighter future when we’re very young, we start learning how to choose between the options placed strategically in front of us and make decisions. Every man fortunately or unfortunately goes through the fate of decisions.

The choices you make and the decisions you take have a long lasting impact on your life. This is cliché but it doesn’t diminish the truism in that statement. Our lives are a series of choic…

5 Hard Things You Need to Start Doing for Yourself on Hard Days

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1. You need to start shifting your focus.

“I’m exhausted and so very tired of all the anxiety, negativity and stress. Too often my mind is consumed with draining thoughts, and every muscle in my body seems tense. It hurts. I don’t want to feel this way anymore. I don’t want to feel like I live in a whirlwind of constant pressure and exhaustion. I don’t want to just ‘get by’ day to day…”

You may not be responsible for everything that happened to you in the past, or everything that’s happening to you right now, but you need to be responsible for undoing the thinking patterns these circumstances create. It’s about thinking better so you can ultimately live better.

The key is to understand that no matter what happens, you can choose your response, which dictates pretty much everything that happens next. Truly, the greatest weapon you have against anxiety, negativity and stress is your ability to choose one present thought over another—to train your mind to make the best of what you…

Who is Paddling Your Canoe?

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We are in an age where the pressure to be something and 'keep up with the Jones' is alarming. Everyday, we get subtle pressures the moment we open our social media accounts or speak to that friend on the 'goings-on' in his life. Unconsciously, our life choices are impacted by what society and friends call important or pronounce as success. Individual's dress patterns, hair styles, choices, relationships and habits are increasingly being reinforced by what society call trendy and acceptable. Only few step back and ask themselves the question: 'What will it mean for me to have succeeded?'

More than ever before, we are losing our authenticity and more pathetically, following paths in life out of sheer pressure. A recent study in the United States showed that one of the core reasons for the spike in gun violence in America today, has to do with mental health issues by young people who have come to a point of depression because they felt they couldn't live …

5 Ways to Quiet the Negative Voices in Your Head

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1. Watch your tendency to over-generalize the negative (and minimize the positive).

Ask yourself: “If something negative unexpectedly happens, do I over-generalize it? Do I view it as applying to everything and being permanent rather than compartmentalizing it to one place and time?”

For example, if someone rejects you or turns you down for a date, do you spread the negativity beyond that person, time and place by telling yourself, “I’m just not good at relationships; they never work out for me, ever”? If you fail an exam do you say to yourself, “Well, I failed that exam; I’m not happy about it, but I’ll study more next time”? Or do you over-generalize it by telling yourself you’re “not smart enough” or “incapable of learning”?

Remember, negative thinking stops us from seeing and experiencing positive outcomes, even when they happen often. It’s as if there’s a special mental block filtering out all the positives and only letting in data that confirms the negative biases we have. …

Nigeria and The Urgency of Now

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Credit to Pastor Poju Oyemade. The Platform, an annual conference centered around conversations and thoughts on forging ahead the Nigerian project has reached its eleventh year. In a nation where many things that take flight do not see its second year anniversary, the consistency is worth commending. The May 1st edition was themed 'Get Involved.' The crux of the discourse was for majority of Nigerians to snap out of their apathy and be a player in the Nigerian project. The array of speakers all made the point in succinct and vivid manner.

It is almost cliché but it remains true that a good number of Nigerians do not care beyond social media vitriolic. Some Nigerians have gained minor stardom and some sort of notoriety from being internet warlords and keypad mongers. While ‘the conversation’ is sacrosanct in our strive for a better nation, it is foolhardy to expect that it should end there; and that that alone is enough to alter our collective inimical plight. The reality is …

10 Hard Things You Need to Hear About Your Attitude

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1. Your attitude often reflects a certain level of self-centered self-victimization. – We all have the tendency to put ourselves at the center, and see everything—every event, conversation, circumstance, etc.—from the viewpoint of how it relates to us and only us. And this can have all kinds of adverse effects, from feeling hurt when other people are rude, to feeling sorry for ourselves when things don’t go as planned, to doubting ourselves when we aren’t perfect. Obviously, we are not really at the center of everything. That’s not how the universe works. It just sometimes seems that way to us. So, be sure to shift your focus when it makes sense. When you catch yourself feeling like a singled-out victim, think about other people you might help. Finding little ways to help others can snap you out of your self-centeredness, and then you’re not wallowing in self-pity anymore—you’re starting to think beyond yourself, for your own good.

2. Your attitude is still greatly affected by …

Poetry - You are in my thoughts

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You are in my thoughts on difficult days.
In my heart in happy moments.
And on my mind everyday.

You are in my thoughts on my best days.
Flashes and memories of you, extant on my mind.
Your absence still plagues me.
Your departure still breaks me.
The wound has remained fresh.
The tears have gone on, unabated.
At times I pray it is a long horror dream.
I still wish it is a mirage; the kind that fizzles away.

You are in my thoughts today.
You are in my thoughts always.
Till we meet again, I will keep hurting.
And you will forever be in my thoughts.

You can’t Un-Live the past. You just choose to forget

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To change something is a choice - Unknown

Some memories can be so painful that you just want to forget them. While it is not possible to erase memories from your mind, there are strategies that you can use to make a memory less prominent. You can also do things to change the way a memory makes you feel and to replace unpleasant memories with new pleasant ones. Keep in mind that it is not always possible to forget a memory, so you may want to consider changing a situation if unpleasant memories are interfering with your life.

Think about what bothers you the most about the memory. Your next step is to pinpoint the most upsetting parts of the memory. Getting to the root of what bothers you the most will help you figure out what you need to forget. Write these specific things down so that you can work on forgetting them.

Are you determined to forget the past? I know many people don’t fully understand what that means. They wonder, “How can I forget something that’s happened to me?” But on…

10 Great Truths My Grandmother Told Me on Her 90th Birthday

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1. There are thousands of people who live their entire lives on the default settings, never realizing they can customize everything. – Don’t settle for the default settings in life. Find your loves, your talents, your passions, and embrace them. Don’t hide behind other people’s decisions. Don’t let others tell you what you want. Design YOUR journey every step of the way! The life you create from doing something that moves you is far better than the life you get from sitting around wishing you were doing it.

2. The right journey is the ultimate destination.
– The most prolific and beneficial experience in life is not in actually achieving something you want, but in seeking it. It’s the journey towards an endless horizon that matters—goals and dreams that move forward with you as you chase them. It’s all about meaningful pursuits—the “moving”—and what you learn along the way. Truly, the most important reason for moving from one place to another is to see what’s in between. In b…