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Showing posts from 2018

5 “Notes to Self” About the Precious Little Time You Have Left

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1. Opportunity is only ever found in the present.
Some people wait all day for 5pm, all week for Friday, all year for the holidays, all their lives for happiness and peace. Don’t be one of them. Life is too short. Time is running out. Don’t wait until your life is almost over to realize how good it has been. The secret to happiness and peace is letting this moment be what it is, instead of what you think it should be, and then making the very best of it.

If you don’t allow yourself to move past what happened, what was said, what was felt, you will look at your present and future through that same dirty lens and nothing will be able to focus your foggy judgment. Realize this. What you do now matters more than what happened yesterday.

2. Your entire life can be customized from day to day.
There are hundreds of people in every town on Earth who live their entire lives on the default settings, never realizing they can customize everything. Don’t be one of them. Don’t settle for …
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In The Final Analysis, It Is One Life We Are All Given

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Nia Vardalos once said ‘You only get one life so you might as well make it a happy one, and that's why I tend to just jump into things. I'm sort of a fearless idiot that way.’ It is a cliché which we have heard from time immemorial that life is short. But how many of us actually live our day to day lives like we’re really going to die one day? Aware that this thing called life is fleeting, and more importantly, a non-rehearsal.

Many of us live lives filled with tedium, responsibilities, and unpleasant chores. We spend so much of our mental energy just getting through each day that it’s easy to forget that our time on earth is finite, that each moment we fritter away is a moment we will never get back. This is a reality that though many are aware of, has not really sunk in.

Everything you desire in life has a price and you have to be willing to accept that price. If you desire to do great work, it will cost you. Likewise, security and comfort will cost you. If you want a luxur…
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10 Hard Things to Remember When You Feel Like Giving Up

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1. In the space between “I’ll try again” and “I give up” there’s a lifetime. It’s the difference between the path you walk and the one you leave behind; it’s the gap between who you are capable of being and who you have become; it’s the legroom for the fairy tales you’ll tell yourself in the future about what could have been.

2. There is no success without unrelenting love. Love is the foundation of human progress. Don’t give up on it. Instead, love what you do, until you can do what you love. Love where you are, until you can be where you love. Love the people you are with, until you can be with the people you love most.

3. Putting in extra love and effort—doing the hard things—is always worth it. Because those are the things that ultimately define you. Those are the things that make the difference between existing and living—between knowing the path and walking the path—between a life of mediocrity and a life filled with progress and fulfillment.

4. The most powerful weapon aga…
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Nigeria on the Crucible

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It was Theodore Roosevelt who once said that 'There comes a time in the life of a nation, as in the life of an individual, when it must face great responsibilities, whether it will or not. We have now reached that time.' The time Roosevelt refereed to is so apt that failure to act has the potency to plunge the next generation into despair.

It is cliche that there are so many issues bedeliving our nation today. It is also true that we are a people forged by perennial and untold hardship, that have made us resilent; too resilent in fact, that it has toiled with our collective senses.

Amidst the heightened political climate, the nation celebrates her 58 years of independence. With only two years to it becoming six decades of self rule, we find ourselves singing the same song, grappling with familiar spirits and contending with ominious signs. Beyond the political hysteria of the PDP potential presidential candidate, the chronicled travails of Ambode in Lagos politics, the intri…
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Restoring The Faith You Once Had in Yourself

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Many of the most meaningful results you will ever achieve in your life—the milestones, the relationships, the love, the lessons—come from the little things you do repeatedly, every single day.

Regardless of your unique talents, knowledge, and life circumstances, or how you personally define success and happiness, you don’t suddenly become successful and happy. You become successful and happy over time based on your willingness to try again and again—to create little daily rituals that amass little bits of progress, through thick and thin.

So, what do your little daily rituals look like?

You really have to sort this out, and get consistent with what’s right for you on a daily basis! Because failure occurs in the same way. All your little daily failures (those that you don’t learn and grow from) come together and cause you to fail big. Think in terms of running a business…

You keep failing to check the books.
You keep failing to make the calls.
You keep failing to listen to your cu…
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Poem - You Are Always In My Thoughts

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Your soothing hands caresses my fragile heart
Your piercing fingers claw on my feeble mind
Your sonorous voice whispers into my troubled ears
And it dawned on me, that you are always in my thoughts.

Your endearing image looms large in my fickle head
Your enchanting smile plagues my imagination
Your ensnaring laughter fills my bowels
Again, it dawned on me, you are always in my thoughts.

There is no route to let go
There is no magic to forgetting
There is no courage to manning up
For you are always in my thoughts.

I see you in the subtleties of my moments
I see you in the trenches of my struggles
I see you in the naked places of my heart
I see you in the flashes of my tired days
For you are always in my thoughts.

It is you I cling to when spirit sag
It is you I run to when bravery eludes
It is you I find when the weight of the world presses
It is you I see when tears clog my weary eyes.

I can never fully forget
For you are firmly resident, in the chambers of my thoughts.


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Stop Waiting: One Lesson Too Many People Learn Too Late

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You need to do the things most people avoid, such as those that make you uncomfortable, that are far easier to run from, that others won’t do for you, that make you second-guess yourself and question how you’re going to find the time and energy to push forward.

Why?

Because the hard things ultimately build you up and change your life. They make the difference between existing and living, between knowing the path and walking it, between a lifetime of empty promises and one filled with progress, value and fulfillment.

The key?

Consistent passionate action!

Learn to believe in your heart that you’re meant to live each moment full of passion and purpose—that each and every moment is worthy in its own way. Consider this excerpt from our New York Times bestselling book, Getting Back to Happy: Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Reality, and Turn Your Trials into Triumphs:

Passion is not something you find in life; it’s something you do. When you want to find the passion and inner strength …
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Corruption As Nigeria’s Number One Enemy

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“To act without a conscience, but for a paycheck, makes anyone a dangerous animal. The devil would be powerless if he couldn't entice people to do his work. So as long as money continues to seduce the hungry, the hopeless, the broken, the greedy, and the needy, there will always be war between brothers.”
― Suzy Kassem

It is almost a cliché in this part of the world that corruption is a nagging menace; yet not many fully grasp how deep the cancer has eaten into our national fabric and permeated our collective soul. The statistics shows us as one of the most corrupt countries in the world but the full extent of that might have eluded the statisticians themselves. When the then U.K Prime Minister, David Cameron, described Nigeria as ‘fantastically corrupt’ you can bet he didn’t have the full picture of how dire the situation is. His remarks understandably brought a diplomatic uproar between Nigeria and the U.K, but he was putting it mildly, and for those with clear minds and conscie…
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How to Find Gratitude When Everything Goes Wrong

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How to Find Gratitude Around Difficult People

We expect people to behave a certain way. Specifically, we expect them to always treat us kindly, fairly and respectfully. But the reality is some people won’t. They will lose their tempers or act foolishly, regardless of how we treat them. This must be accepted. Don’t lower your standards, but do remind yourself that removing your expectations of others—especially those who are being difficult—is the best way to avoid being disappointed by them. You will end up sadly disappointed if you expect others will always do for you as you do for them. Not everyone has the same heart as you. Not everyone’s heart is filled with genuine gratitude. When you’re forced to deal with a difficult person, you can be grateful for having other people in your life who are far less difficult. You can be grateful for having a way to practice being better at patience, communication, and tempering your expectations. You can think of this person as a teach…
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The Elder Moves On...

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They say every good thing must come to an end.
They say cherish every moment for you might not have them forever.
They say create many memories while you can, you never know who will move on.
They say goodbye is a bitch. For why do we ever have to say goodbye to those that have become a part of us?

Today we all gather
To garner our thoughts
To unlock our love
To pander our best wishes
To celebrate a man of Olympian heights.

Just like moons and like suns,
With the certainty of tides,
Our love For you is a surety
Just like hopes springing high
Hopes of a girl with a promise of an iPhone x, our hopes that the rest of your life will be a beauty is doubtless.

You are a bundle of unquenching energy
A beehive of unquestionable joy
A good man
An elder whose looks betray his age
A fine gentleman and a man of diverse parts
With hair so black, full and kinky...it makes the ladies aspire.

You mean many things to different people
Some call you elder, others call you unrelenting DJ
But to u…
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12 “Notes to Self” About the Hard Things You Need to Do to Be Happy

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1. Note to Self: You need to choose yourself today. – You won’t always be a priority to others, and that’s why you need to be a priority to yourself. Learn to respect yourself, take care of yourself, and become your own support system. Your needs matter. Start meeting them. Make YOUR priorities a top priority. Don’t wait on others to choose you. Choose yourself, today!

2. Note to Self: You need to start long before you feel ready. – If you wait until you feel 100% ready, you will be waiting the rest of your life. Realize this! Some people wait all day for 5pm, all week for Friday, all year for the holidays, all their lives for happiness. Don’t be one of them.

3. Note to Self: You need to let your actions speak loud and clear. – A big part of your life is a result of your choices. If you don’t like some part of your life, it’s time to start making changes and new choices. And it’s OK to be low-key about it. You don’t need to put everything on social media. Silently progre…
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Stop And Ponder on These Life Questions…

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Today, I want to share with you some profound questions to help you reflect on life generally. Whatever phase you might be in your life, I hope these questions help you pounder, give you new perspectives and help you soldier on in your journey.

1: What are my values?
What matters to you most in this world? What will you passionately fight for?

2: Am I living my values?
Is there congruence between what you say is important, and what you are doing? Is there any aspect of your life where you are not being true to yourself, or not living in authenticity?

3: In looking back over the last 1-5 years, where did I go right?
Especially in times of difficulty, it's hard to recognize our good decisions, and our wins. Acknowledging them as we intentionally move into the future empowers us to seek out people and experiences that set us up for success.

4: In looking back over the last 1-5 years, where did I go wrong?
Similarly, where did you experience setbacks? Recognizing these setbacks, in t…
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7 Big Lessons From The 2018 World Cup!

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The 2018 Russian world cup have been a tale of excitement, glitz and football that keeps giving. To borrow the words of Peter Drury, where does football go from here? That's how good the 64 games played over 30 days have been. Yet, amidst the glitz and fanfare, there were a few takeaways to pick up.

1. Talent is not enough: Portugal and Argentina
That the best two players (Ronaldo and Messi) in the world were out of the World Cup by the round of 16 speaks volume in itself. For all the talent in the world, Ronaldo and Messi couldn't do it on their own. They needed the team. When all is said and done, the stars take you far but the great teams forged with grit, character and teamwork will take you all the way. Both Argentina and Portugal pride themselves with famous names in their squads such as Sergio Aguero, Gonzalo Hinguain and Ricardo Quaresma, but talent wasn't enough. The good old adage still holds true.

2. Reinvent yourself or go extinct: Germany
Germany came into the…
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4 Hard Truths About Today that Will Make You a Stronger Person Tomorrow

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1.Everything you love and everything you are comfortable with is changing.

Most of the things we desperately try to hold on to, as if they’re real, solid, everlasting fixtures in our lives, aren’t really there. Or if they are there in some form, they’re changing, fluid, impermanent, or simply imagined in our minds.

Life gets a lot easier to deal with when we understand this.

Imagine you’re blindfolded and treading water in the center of a large swimming pool, and you’re struggling desperately to grab the edge of the pool that you think is nearby, but really it’s not—it’s far away. Trying to grab that imaginary edge is stressing you out, and tiring you out, as you splash around aimlessly trying to hold on to something that isn’t there. Now imagine you pause, take a deep breath, and realize that there’s nothing nearby to hold on to. Just water around you. You can continue to struggle with grabbing at something that doesn’t exist… or you can accept that there’s only water around you,…
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Politicians As The Bane Of Nigeria’s Problem

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Part of my ‘getaway technique’ of coping with the myriad of Nigeria’s problems is to have healthy conversations with a few friends who share genuine passion about the state of affairs in the country. It is my opportunity to vent and shed off the burden of frustration that I live with every day as a citizen. Last week, I had a very healthy conversation with a bosom friend who is a popular face on Nigeria television and in the social media space. The discussion touched on a few ‘going on’ at the moment, more critically on the new chairman of the ruling All Progressives Congress (APC), Comrade Adams Oshiomhole. Inevitably, it delved into a conversation about the response and genuineness of our leaders to pivotal issues affecting ‘we the people.’ My friend put it nicely when he said:

‘The vast majority that constitute the political class have no care in the world for the suffering masses of Nigeria. I agree that you cannot change the system (to a considerable degree) unless you are inside…
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Short Reflection: Light and Shadow

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One of the greatest lessons we learn in life is that we are often attracted to a bright light in another person. Initially, this light is all we see. It’s so bright and beautiful. But after a while, as our eyes adjust, we notice this light is accompanied by a shadow… and oftentimes a fairly large one.

When we see this shadow, we have two choices: we can either shine our own light on the shadow or we can run from it and continue searching for a shadow-less light.

If we decide to run from the shadow, we must also run from the light that created it. And we soon find out that our light is the only light illuminating the space around us. Then, at some point, as we look closer at our own light, we notice something out of the ordinary. Our light is casting a shadow too. And our shadow is bigger and darker than some of the other shadows we’ve seen.

If, on the other hand, instead of running from the shadow, we decide to walk towards it, something amazing happens. We inadvertently cast…
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Mental Health: The Need To Talk

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Thomas (not real name) had not been himself for the last two weeks. Though he often responded with ‘I’m fine’ when asked ‘How are you?’ every morning, his countenance was what gave him away. He wasn’t looking the part and the weak signals were glaring by the day. Yet, where Thomas worked, his friends and colleagues hadn’t picked up the weak signals. He had often wore a smile which was a complete façade that masked his misery, cleverly. I stumbled upon Thomas one day, when I discovered he was suicidal and had been on pills. He was going to take his life in twenty four hours. Every one of us has a ‘Thomas’ we know, that lives with us or that is among us. They are often normal people with seemingly no issues until they do the ‘unthinkable.’ Put more succinctly, you might just be a ‘Thomas’ yourself. Many of us are simply oblivious.

In this part of the world, we like to feign alien to some subjects. It is common place to hear people say things like ‘Suicide is not a Nigerian thing,’ ‘Les…
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10 Truths to Keep You Going When Everything Goes Wrong

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1. What happened to you in the past is not happening now. – In the present moment, we all have some kind of pain: anger, sadness, frustration, disappointment, regret, etc. Notice this pain within yourself, watch it closely and see that it’s caused by whatever story you have in your head about what happened in the past (either in the recent past or in the distant past). Your mind might insist that the pain you feel is caused by what happened (not by the story in your head about it), but what happened in the past is NOT happening right now. It’s over. It has passed. The pain, however, is still happening right now because of the story you’ve been subconsciously telling yourself about that past incident. It’s simply a process of your thinking. Do your best to see it for what it is.

2. Life changes from moment to moment, and so can you. – When hard times hit there’s a tendency to extrapolate and assume the future holds more of the same. For some strange reason this doesn’t happen a…
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We Are The Choices We Make

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“I am not a product of my circumstances. I am a product of my decisions.” — Stephen Covey

Our existence comprises of choices that we make. From drinking milk in the morning to attending your least favorite lecture, from buying a blue shirt instead of a green shirt at your favorite store to adding an extra spoon of sugar in your coffee, from painting your bedroom wall pink to finding the balls to speak to your crush — you take a plethora of decisions, make choices, and bear the consequences. Choices are everywhere. Despite our parents making most of our decisions for our better and brighter future when we’re very young, we start learning how to choose between the options placed strategically in front of us and make decisions. Every man fortunately or unfortunately goes through the fate of decisions.

The choices you make and the decisions you take have a long lasting impact on your life. This is cliché but it doesn’t diminish the truism in that statement. Our lives are a series of choic…
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5 Hard Things You Need to Start Doing for Yourself on Hard Days

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1. You need to start shifting your focus.

“I’m exhausted and so very tired of all the anxiety, negativity and stress. Too often my mind is consumed with draining thoughts, and every muscle in my body seems tense. It hurts. I don’t want to feel this way anymore. I don’t want to feel like I live in a whirlwind of constant pressure and exhaustion. I don’t want to just ‘get by’ day to day…”

You may not be responsible for everything that happened to you in the past, or everything that’s happening to you right now, but you need to be responsible for undoing the thinking patterns these circumstances create. It’s about thinking better so you can ultimately live better.

The key is to understand that no matter what happens, you can choose your response, which dictates pretty much everything that happens next. Truly, the greatest weapon you have against anxiety, negativity and stress is your ability to choose one present thought over another—to train your mind to make the best of what you…
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