Patience Jonathan: What Manner of First Lady is This?

An old African saying goes thus ‘At times life does not prepare a man for the notoriety ahead, and when the lime light eventually beams on such man, the glitz and all the attendant complexities could overwhelm him.’ The chronicle of how President Goodluck Ebele Jonathan earned the reputation of becoming the world’s ‘luckiest’ politician is well known. While political fortune played a pivotal role in his voyage, one must accord him some eulogies for at least being in the right political place at all times. However, to entirely ascribe Jonathan’s political career to the sheer stroke of luck is to be stretching the truth. Perhaps not the genre of politician we are used to in this turf, he has been a political dinosaur of some sorts.

However, with the rise and rise of Goodluck Jonathan, fame by default accompanied his better half, Patience Jonathan. With this reality has come a national burden. Patience Jonathan means many things to many people. Not much was known about her in the days of her husband’s teething beginnings in politics. The equation was overhauled with the ascension of Goodluck Jonathan as president of the most populous black nation. Also referred to as the Dame, Patience Jonathan became a cynosure of controversies and in some ways, a national comic relief to a vast majority of Nigerians. To put it mildly, it is a known fact that speaking proper basic English is not her greatest strength. However, while it is pardonable to bypass wrong usage of tenses, her brand of grammatical blunders has exclusivity about it. The reckless abandon with which she makes utterances beggars believe, and one wonders how she has not been bundled to belong to a ‘Toastmasters’ speakers club by those who should know better.

Yet, there is more to Patience Jonathan’s excesses. Today, there is an exalted public office in the country, the Office of the First Lady. In this new vested position, the Dame wield untold power. She has personal assistants and advisers that rival that of her husband. In this Office, the governors of many states have become her subject. It should be stated unequivocally that there is no place for the Office of the First Lady as exercised today in the Nigerian constitution. While previous first ladies such as Maryam Babaginda, Maryam Abacha, Stella Obasanjo and Turai Yar’Adua have all brought the place of the first lady to exalted prominence, the Dame has raised it up in no small measure. Patience Jonathan has been at loggerheads with a lot of governors since she became what she currently is, but none come close to the rivalry she has constituted with the Rivers state governor, Rotimi Amaechi. Her revered interest in the politics of Rivers state is simply legendary. While she is an indigene of the state, she has become a demagogue in the affairs of the state. Little wonder some political gladiators in the state now refer to her as their ‘Jesus Christ.’ Without rehashing the show of shame, many will remember that Patience Jonathan once snatched the microphone from the Rivers state governor at a public forum in the state and made a mockery of some of his policies. Only recently, in Okrika where she hails from, there was mayhem of gunmen clashing with the opposition party (APC) at a planned rally. While no official findings have connected her with the incident, there is just too much that goes on in her patch that makes one wonder.

Those who memory serves right will recollect the lack of courtesy displayed by Patience Jonathan during the visit of the President to the United States. She breached protocol by disembarking from the aircraft before the President, and shaking hands with officials waiting on the tarmac while her husband was still coming down from the plane. One-offs could be forgiven but when there is a pattern, it gives concern. Her colossal excesses have transcended the bounds of the country and has (and is still) put(ting) us in bad light before the rest of the world.

In this season of electoral horse-trading and campaigns, Patience Jonathan’s utterances have left many gob-smacked. In a campaign rally, she referred to the main opposition’s presidential candidate as ‘brain-dead’. As if the vituperations were not enough, she called on her husband’s party supporters to ‘stone anyone that preaches change to them’ (Change is the mantra of the APC). This latest utterance has made the APC to resort to the International Criminal Court on her case. At a time when the nation should look up to a mother-like image, she has become just the opposite of any such thing. Rather, anytime she goes around with her exotic entourage, the public suffer, activities are grounded and word must hit town that the Dame lurks around.
In truth, there is nothing first lady-like about Patience Jonathan. She lacks the grace, mannerism, finesse, carriage, piety and reverence that follow first ladies. Her brashness and excesses are simply unbecoming and this nonsense has become a national concern. With her, there are no bounds to extremities. It is for people like Patience Jonathan that Dorothy Parker once said “If you want to know what God thinks about money and power, just look at the people he gave it to.”

7 Things to Remember When You Feel Discouraged and Defeated

1. You are not the center of the universe (stop making it all about YOU).

I think we all have the tendency to put ourselves at the center of the universe, and see everything from the viewpoint of how it affects us. But this can have all kinds of adverse effects, from feeling sorry for ourselves when things aren’t going exactly as planned, to doubting ourselves when we aren’t perfect.

So this morning, instead of worrying so much about myself, I thought about other people I might help. Finding little ways to help others gets me out of my self-centered thinking, and then I’m not wallowing in self-pity anymore – I’m starting to think about what others need. I’m not doubting myself, because the question of whether I’m good enough or not is no longer the central question. The central question now is about what others need.

Thus, thinking about others instead of oneself helps solve feelings of discouragement and defeat.

2. It is your resistance to ‘what is’ that causes your suffering (be present).

This morning my mind was ruminating about every time and place other than the time and place I was in. When I caught myself doing this, I brought my focus back to the present.

Remember, happiness is allowing yourself to be perfectly OK with ‘what is,’ rather than wishing for and worrying about ‘what is not.’ ‘What is’ is what’s supposed to be, or it would not be. The rest is just you, arguing with life. Think about that for a minute. This means your suffering only ever occurs when you resist how things are in the present.

Although you can’t control everything that happens to you; you can only control the way you respond to what happens. In your response is your power. In your power is your presence.

3. You are more than one thing (loosen up and stretch your identity).

We all have this picture in our minds of ourselves – this idea of what kind of person we are. When this idea gets threatened, we react defensively. People may question whether we did a good job, and this threatens our idea of being a competent person, so we become angry or hurt by the criticism. Someone falsely accuses us of something and this threatens our idea that we’re a good person, and so we get angry and attack the other person.

4. Today is still a priceless gift (make the best of it).

I only have so many days left on Earth. I don’t know how many that is, but I do know it’s a very limited number. I know that each one of those limited days is a gift, a blessing… a miracle. And that squandering this miracle is a crime – a horrible lack of appreciation for what I’ve been given. And so, I reminded myself this morning that this day counts and that I still need to make the best of it. That doesn’t mean I need to be hyper-productive or work myself into the ground, but that I should do something worthwhile.

Sometimes taking a break to nourish yourself is a worthwhile activity, because doing so allows you to regroup and do other worthwhile things. But just sitting around in self-pity isn’t helpful.

5. Complaining is only making matters worse (find a solution).

When I get in a funk, I have a tendency to complain out loud to everyone around who’s close enough to hear me. Obviously, this doesn’t help them, or me. And as soon as I catch myself doing this, I force myself to shift gears.

The bottom line is that you will never get to where you want to be by complaining about where you are now. Each step in your life is preparing you for the one that comes after it. Complaining does not work as a strategy. We all have limited time and energy. Any amount of time we spend whining is unlikely to help us achieve anything worthwhile. And it won’t make us any happier either.

If you took 10% of the energy you put into complaining and applied it to solving your present problem, you’d be surprised by how well and how fast things can work out.

When you stop complaining, and refuse to see yourself as a helpless victim, you’ll find that you are more powerful than you realized, but only if you choose to accept this reality.

6. Feeling discouraged and defeated is a sign that it’s time to make a change (make that change).

It could be a change of heart, a change in your perspective, or a change in your habits. But the point in any case is that the way you are doing things is no longer working.

When we feel discouraged and defeated, typically our first instinct is to look outside of ourselves for someone or something to blame. In reality, we ought to be looking at how we’re feeling, what we’re thinking, and how we plan to respond.

Your life is your responsibility. While you can’t always change what’s outside of you, you can certainly change your perception of it. And the funny thing is, when you change the way you look at things, the things themselves change, which paves the way for positive action.

7. Even the tiniest possible step is progress. (take a tiny step NOW).

It can be hard to get moving when you’re seriously stuck. It is at this point that just making the next step changes everything. I always tell friends that my life (Sam) journey over this past two decades has been a catalogue of taking little steps that ends up making the difference. You can start today with that one seemingly insignificant step.

MARCANDANGEL

Poetry: The Substance of My Days

They say some are born great, others achieve greatness, while some others have greatness thrust upon them. But Mothers, this finest gift of creation, are a rare combination of all three.

You paved the way upon which I know thread, You taught me the first lessons of this harsh world, Your breasts were the first I knew, Your shoulders were the first i leaned on, Your hands were the first that beheld and caressed me, Your laps were the first I cried on.

In moment of chaos, like a bolt in the blue, you flash your brilliance.
Like an actress in her element, you ooze out excellence on the stage of life.
Like a tale conjured by the gods, your life story is a beacon of hope for many.

We celebrate you today
Beacons of beauty
The sun of our childhood
Epitome of resilience
Radiance of our days
The spring of our youth
Cynosure of strength
Nature’s biggest blessing
And effulgence of greatness

Even when our excesses becomes unbearable, you refuse to be infuriated
When the rest of the world gives up on us, you are the last woman standing
When Life storms threaten to break us, your voice, like a soothing balm reassures us
And when we have no one else to look up to, you are always close, always there, never far

Our happiness is your joy
Our progress is your success
Our smile is your laughter
And our peace is your fulfillment

Nothing compared to the Excellency of motherhood
An institution that silver and gold cannot purchase
A life that words cannot aptly articulate
Indeed, no one can aptly fill the vacuum of a mother
They might try, but that lacuna is too deep to be filled


And while words might not be enough
While our eulogies might be fleeting, our hearts revere you today and for all time
And when the eulogies fade away
When all is said and done

We will never forget you
For our friendship shall never wither
Our bound shall grow tighter
Our fondness shall linger
Our relationship shall never flounder
And you shall always remain in our minds.

Dedicated to all mothers on the occasion of Mothers Day!

6 Ways to Stay Strong When Everything Goes Wrong

1. Remind yourself that everything in life is temporary.

Every time it rains, it stops raining. Every time you get hurt, you heal. After darkness there is always light – you are reminded of this every morning, but still you often forget, and instead choose to believe that the night will go on forever. It won’t. Nothing lasts.

So if things are good right now, enjoy it. It won’t last forever. If things are bad, don’t worry because it won’t last forever either. Just because life isn’t easy at the moment, doesn’t mean you can’t laugh. Just because something is bothering you, doesn’t mean you can’t smile. Every moment gives you a new beginning and a new ending. You get a second chance, every second. You just have to take it and make the best of it.

2. Push yourself to take another step, and another, no matter what.

After studying the lives of many successful people, I’m convinced that about half of what separates successful people from everyone else is pure perseverance. In a culture that seeks quick results, we must learn the beauty of effort, patience and perseverance. Be strong, present and steadfast.

The most beautiful smiles are usually the ones that struggled through the tears. Because breakdowns often lead to breakthroughs in the end. Every mistake, heartbreak and loss contains its own solution, its own subtle lesson on how to improve your performance and outcome next time. Thus, the most reliable way to predict the future is to create it yourself. Participate in life today instead of just watching it pass you by. Don’t let the few things that are out of your control interfere with the infinite assortment of things you can control.

The truth is we all lose sometimes. The greater truth is that no single loss ever defines us. Learn from your trials. Grow wiser. Press on.

In the end, good things don’t come to those who wait; good things come to those who are patient… while working hard, through good times and bad, for what they want most in life. It’s about courage. It’s about being scared to death and then taking the next step anyway.

3. Use positivity, rather than letting negativity use you.

There may not be an obvious reason to be positive today, but you don’t need a reason. Being positive is a strategy, not a response. The most powerful time to be positive is precisely when everything around you is not so positive.

Happiness in the long run is not the absence of problems, but the ability to deal with them. Raise your awareness to your own inner strength and positivity. You are in charge of how you react to the people and events in your life. You can either give negativity power over your life, or you can choose to be positive instead by focusing on the great things that are truly important. So talk about your blessings more than you talk about your problems today.

In other words, don’t wait for a reason to be positive. Choose to be positive about your situation, about your possibilities, and about what you can do to move forward from here. Instead of looking for reasons to be positive, look for ways to express your positive vision. Work to make your life resonate with that vision, and enjoy all the rewarding outcomes you create.

4. Focus on making tiny fixes.

Don’t build mountains in your mind. Don’t try to conquer the world all at once. When you seek instant gratification (big, quick fixes) you make life unnecessarily painful and frustrating. When you choose instead to treat each moment as an opportunity to make a tiny, positive investment in yourself, the rewards come naturally.

When everything is broken, it’s easy to find plenty of little things you can fix. When nothing seems to be going right, even the most fundamental positive effort can make a significant difference. Times of great adversity are also times of great opportunity. When there are problems in every direction, there is also great value waiting to be created. When everything is going well, it’s easy to get lulled into a routine of complacency. It’s easy to forget how incredibly capable and resourceful you can be. Resolve to persevere by making tiny fixes every day. It’s these minor tweaks that take you from where you are to where you want to be in the long run.

Small steps, little leaps, and tiny fixes (very small repetitive changes) every day will get you there, through thick and thin.

5. Look for something small to appreciate.

You may not have what you want, and you may be very hurt, but you still have more than enough to appreciate right now. Epicurus once said, “Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for.” Meditate on this quote when life seems unfair.

Remember that being positive in a negative situation is not naive; it’s a sign of leadership and strength. You’re doing it right when you have so much to cry and complain about, but you prefer to smile and appreciate your life instead. So don’t pray for the big miracles and forget to give thanks for the ordinary, simple, and yet not-so-small gifts in your life. It may seem strange to feel thankful for those events in your life that appear to be ordinary, yet it’s precisely by being thankful that you can transform the ordinary into the extraordinary.

Think about it: What if you woke up tomorrow with only the things you were thankful for today?

Think of all the beauty that still remains around you, notice it and smile.

At the end of the day, it’s not happiness that makes us thankful, but thankfulness that makes us happy. Showing appreciation for the good things you have is the most powerful happiness boosting activity there is.

6. Give yourself the extra attention you need and deserve.

Resisting and ignoring your own feelings and emotions does not serve you. It leads to stress, illness, confusion, broken relationships, fits of anger and bouts of deep, dark depression. Anyone who’s experienced any of the above knows that these states of mind are horrifically unhealthy… and when you’re in the habit of self-neglect, it’s near impossible to escape.

You have to admit, to a certain extent, you have spent too much of your life trying to shrink yourself. Trying to become smaller. Quieter. Less sensitive. Less opinionated. Less needy. Less YOU. Because you didn’t want to be too much or push people away. You wanted to fit in. You wanted people to like you. You wanted to make a good impression. You wanted to be wanted.

So for years, you sacrificed yourself for the sake of making other people happy. And for years, you suffered.

But you’re tired of suffering, and you’re done shrinking. Right? Good!

It’s not your job to change who you are in order to become someone else’s idea of a worthwhile human being. You are worthwhile. Not because other people think you are, but because you are breathing your own air, and therefore you matter. Your thoughts matter. Your feelings matter. Your voice matters. And with or without anyone’s approval or permission, you must be who you are and live your truth. Even if it makes people turn their heads. Even if it makes them uncomfortable. Even if they choose to leave.

Refuse to shrink. Choose to take up lot of space in your own life. Choose to give yourself permission to meet your own needs. Choose to honor your feelings and emotions. Choose to make self-care a top priority.


(MARCANDANGEL).

The Trouble That Is Obasanjo

For some reason, he has been able to forge a cult demeanor of some sorts. His admirers range from young to old and so many are in awe of his charisma. A demagogue of a kind, Obasanjo guarantees a polarization of opinions. Having been a leader in this country in both the democratic and military dispensation, he is perhaps the best power monger in the nation's history. No doubt, that in itself should accord him some respect. However, I am not sure if any other thing should.

While I am neither a GEJ nor a Buhari sympathizer, I firmly believe that General Obasanjo's recent show of shenanigan during which he tore his PDP card was a new low for the Ota gaffer. In many ways, it was ‘unstatesman’ like, and in more ways than one, unwarranted. It is just fine for OBJ to decide to leave the Party at will. After all, he has been a divisive figure to the Party's polity for a while now. However, to go as far as pulling such theatrical stunt on national TV was vintage OBJ. It was both a disrespect to the party that once made him and a slight on our politics. What was even sadder about the event was that some representatives of his ward who were present chanted in jubilation at the drama. How they couldn't see that it was nothing to celebrate was a pity. There was nothing gratifying by such action, irrespective of party affiliations.

For some of us who are students of history, General Obasanjo's recent display was not novel. He has had a history of witch hunting his successors, especially those who are not ready to sing his song. During his first stint as ruler in the military days, OBJ earned a reputation for being divisive. Having handed over power in a transition that brought Shehu Shagari to power in 1979, he became the chief detractor of the regime, especially in 1982, leading up to the 1983 elections. In same vein, after working to install Yar'Adua as president in 2007, he soon fell out with him the moment he was trying to become his own man. The story has it that the Late Yar’Adua at some point stopped taking his calls due to his excesses which was becoming disturbing. And now, Obasanjo has become the commander in slay of the Jonathan administration. It is also interesting that the disowning of the Party by the Aremu happened just weeks before the elections. It is one thing to criticize a government for ineptitude; it is another thing to do that with crass disrespect and glaring self-serving interest. As Simon Kolawole once said, ‘Obasanjo is a wind-reader’ who always knows when to jump ship. It is a great shame and a testimony to our teething democracy that a former leader like Obasanjo makes public life all about him and the News is quick to make him headline. If he is not writing a public diatribe to the president, he is mocking the former vice president. The report that recently went viral of some governors going to Ota to genuflect to the former leader was also a show of OBJ’s excesses. That he takes pride in such demi-god act is pathetic. It is apt to say here that OBJ is perhaps one of the few godfathers remaining from an era of godfatherism that is gradually fizzling out of our political life. His chronology of shenanigans has attained a disturbing level. Perhaps, it is worth mentioning that in saner turfs, former leaders are the conscience of the nation who provides an anchor for it in moments of distress. In America today, there are four living former presidents (George H W. Bush, Jimmy Carter, Bill Clinton and George Bush) but none have made themselves nuisance to the Obama administration. One should also say that the Buhari train has to be very careful of General Obasanjo and his so called support. While he still wields some influence politically, I think the degree of this influence is grossly exaggerated in the minds of many.

Agree or differ, Obasanjo was not a good leader. He might be an enigma because of his unconventional and precarious attitude, but that does not let him pass for a legendary status. For a man that has tasted power for so long as he has, you expected him to have bequeathed a working democratic system. The next time we sing the praises of Baba, it is worth remembering that it was in his era that corruption and other social vices thrived. This is also the man that was so intoxicated with power that he did everything to cling on via the failed third term agenda. They say the ultimate test of leadership is to have a successor that succeeded. It is still public debate if Obasanjo passed this test.

In no clime except Nigeria will he still be accorded the kind of reverence he currently enjoins. He was not a great leader and should never be the compass for morality or the standard for good governance. It is often said that he who comes to equity, must do so with clean hands. OBJ does not possess one. He is rash, he is vindictive, he is corrupt and a power chaser of unimaginable proportions. In more ways than one, he has lost his mystifying powers and that reality appears to hunt him these days. Make no mistake about it, he made some pocket strides while in power but he also hatched and betrothed to us this decadence called corruption and other evil seeds that have germinated to plague us today. Obasanjo was not a great leader in my book and it is suicidal to mention him in the same breathe as a Nelson Mandela or a Julius Nyerere. While posterity will read of him, I am not sure they will remember him for the right reasons.

6 Ways to Change Your Attitude When You Can’t Change Anything Else

1.Still your mind. – In order to gain conscious control of what goes on in your mind, you need to develop a keen awareness for this process. What helps is to hold still for a moment, take a deep breath and free your mind of all the chatter that’s going on inside and all around. This makes room for a change of state, for something new to enter. So give yourself a break. Don’t say you can’t. Yes, you have battles out in the world to fight, insecurities to overcome, loved ones to contend with and goals to achieve, but a break from it all is necessary. It’s perfectly healthy to pause and let the world spin without you for a while. If you don’t, you will burn yourself out. You must refill your bucket on a regular basis. That means catching your breath, finding quiet solitude, focusing your attention inward, and otherwise making time for recovery from the chaos of your routine.

2.Change your focus. – From the awareness of your thoughts and emotions you become able to consciously redirect your focus. It’s time to take it willingly away from something that drags you down, and zero it in on something that inspires you. Focus on the next logical, meaningful step. There are no hopeless situations; there are only people who have grown hopeless about them. So keep your hope alive through positive awareness. Don’t let the pain make you desperate. Don’t let the negativity wear off on you. Don’t let the bitterness steal your sweetness. Spend your energy moving forward. Change your thoughts and you change your reality. Our thoughts are the makers of our moods, the inventors of our dreams, and the creators of our will. That’s why we must sort through them carefully, and choose to respond only to those that will help us build the life we want, and the outlook we want to hold as we’re living it.

3.Practice gratitude. – What you must realize is that you don’t really need more; you just need to appreciate what you have. It’s a beautiful and bittersweet way of thinking all at once. If you don’t have what you want now, you don’t have what you want, but you still have enough. Be thankful for what is, and also be thankful for what has not yet come to you. For that means there are still many possibilities available. Find peace in the thought that you can’t ever have it all or know it all either. You are always just a fraction of the whole. For if you weren’t, there would be nothing more to experience. Value what you know, and also value the countless things you don’t yet understand. For in what you don’t understand, there is the joy of growth. Life will always be incomplete and a bit asymmetrical. Realize this and embrace it. Be happy and sad at the same time, be hungry and thankful at the same time, be nervous and excited at the same time, and be OK with it.

4.Reframe your struggles as growing pains. – Remind yourself that there’s scarcely any happiness, passion or success without struggle. If the road is easy, you’re likely going the wrong way. Everything that happens helps you grow, even if it’s hard to see right now. Circumstances will direct you, correct you, and perfect you over time. Sometimes these circumstances knock you down, hard. There will be times when it seems like everything that could possibly go wrong is going wrong. And you might feel like you will be stuck in this rut forever, but you won’t. When you feel like quitting, remember that sometimes things have to go very wrong before they can be right. Sometimes you have to go through the worst, to arrive at your best. Because our most significant opportunities are often found in times of great difficulty. Thus, you will face your greatest opposition when you are closest to your biggest miracle.

5.Look for the beginning in every ending. – Everything in life has to come to an end sometime. It’s important to acknowledge and accept the end of an era – to walk away sensibly when something has reached its conclusion. Closing the door, turning the page, moving on, etc. It doesn’t matter what you call it; what matters is that you leave the past where it belongs so you can enjoy the life that’s still available to be lived. This ending is not THE END, it’s just your life beginning again in a new way. It’s a point in your story where one chapter fades into the next. Take a look at the first page of this new chapter; it’s a beautiful one.

6.When all else fails, use your body. – The mind reflects your body by responding to its levels of tension, rate of breath, speed of movement and mental focus. Likewise your body mirrors your thoughts, feelings, mood, and responds to your state of mind, the questions you ask and the words you speak. So if the mind and body are intrinsically connected – meaning that one has a direct affect on the other – it becomes clear that if we directly and consciously take control of one, it will influence and transform the other. So by mindfully adjusting how you use your body you can directly influence your state of mind, and dramatically transform your attitude. Just imagine you’re sitting there in a bad mood, shoulders hanging forward, shallow breathing and frowning. Go ahead and do this right now to experience how it influences your state of mind. And then do the opposite: stand up straight and put a big smile on your face. Take some deep, strong breaths and stretch your arms into the air. Notice how you feel better? Bottom line: Take the vehicle your creator has given you and use it! Your body is the best tool for changing your attitude in an instant.

(MARCANDANGEL)

6 Things You Should Insist On No Matter What People Say

1.Insist on making your life your own. – Most of us are not raised to actively seek our calling. We may not even know that we have one. As kids, we are seldom told we have a place in life that is uniquely ours alone. Instead, we are encouraged to believe that our life should somehow fulfill the expectations of others – that we should find our happiness exactly as they have found theirs. Rather than being taught to ask ourselves who we are, we are trained to ask others for permission. We are, in effect, schooled to live other people’s versions of our lives. Every day is designed and developed as told to us by someone else! And then one day when we break free to survey our dreams, seeking to fulfill ourselves, we see that most of our dreams have gone unfulfilled because we believed, and those around us believed, that what we wanted for ourselves was somehow beyond our reach. It’s time to unlearn these lies and make changes. It takes courage to grow wiser and become who you really are. And today is the first day of the rest of your life.

2.Insist on subtracting what doesn’t belong in your life. – There’s so much you can let go of in life without losing a thing. It’s called growth. Letting go of the old makes way for the new. Letting go of what isn’t working makes way for what will. When the pain of holding on is worse than the pain of letting go, it’s time to let go and grow. In other words, start subtracting… the habits, routines and circumstances that are holding you back. You cannot discover new oceans unless you build up enough courage to lose sight of the old, familiar shoreline. Be brave. Follow your values. Make changes. Dare to be different. And don’t be afraid to like it.

3.Insist on making passion a priority. – Purpose is the reason you journey. Passion is the fire that lights your way. Without passion, it’s impossible to progress. The heart of human excellence begins to beat when you discover a pursuit that absorbs you, frees you, challenges you, and gives you a sense of meaning. Some resist this fact and think passion is just fluff. Well that’s nonsense! Honestly, the saddest people I’ve ever met in life are the ones who don’t have a deep passion about anything at all. Passion and satisfaction go hand in hand, and without them, any happiness is only temporary, because there’s nothing meaningful behind it to make it last. So remember, if you cannot put your heart in it, take yourself out of it. Only passions – great passions – can elevate the soul to great heights. If there was ever a moment to follow your heart and do something that matters to you, that moment is now.

4.Insist on working hard for what you want most. – Sometimes you’ve got to create what you want to be a part of from the ground up – you’ve got to work harder than ever before to get more than you ever dreamed of. Be a dreamer. Be a doer. Know what is truly important to you and why. Then act on it with all your might. Dreams don’t just magically become realities; it takes a lot of determination, sweat, and hard work. And remember, tough circumstances don’t last; tough people do. Most obstacles melt away when we make up our minds to march boldly through them. If you have a strong commitment to your goals and dreams, and wake up every morning with a burning passion to work toward them, anything is possible. So dare to live the life you have dreamed for yourself. Go forward and make your dreams a working reality.

5.Insist on saying what you need to say. – Dr. Seuss once said, “Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.” There’s a lot of truth in that statement. Be cordial and reasonable, of course, but don’t tread carefully on every word you say. Push your concerns of what others might think aside and say what you need to say. Let the consequences of doing so unravel naturally. What you’ll find is that most of the time no one will be offended or irritated at all. And if they do get upset, it’s likely only because you’ve brought something important to their attention that forces them to think differently. Bottom line: When you don’t speak up, there’s a lot of important stuff that never gets said. And in the end, there’s no greater sadness than holding on to the words you never had the courage to speak.

6.Insist on leaving other people’s judgmental opinions alone. – When I first started writing on this blog, I’d agonize over whether people would think what I was writing was good enough. I desperately hoped they’d like it, and oftentimes I’d catch myself imagining they didn’t. Then one day I realized how much energy I was wasting worrying about it. So I’ve gradually learned to relax with simply not knowing. Some problems in life, such as not knowing what others think of you, are not really meant to be resolved. How people perceive you may have more to do with them than you anyway. They may even like or dislike you simply because you’ve triggered an association in their minds by reminding them of someone they liked or disliked from their past, which has absolutely nothing to do with you. So here’s a new mantra for you – say it, and then say it again: “This is my life, my choices, my mistakes and my lessons. As long as I’m not hurting people, I need not worry what they think of me.”

(MARCANDANGEL).