“When life comes and sweeps you off your feet, you have the choice to remain on the ground where people will coddle you or get up so people will be inspired by you. It’s not easy, but change never is.” – Neal Samudre
Typically, when we’re worried or upset, it’s because we’ve lost perspective. Everything that is happening in our lives seems so big, so important, so do or die, but in the grand picture, this single hiccup often means next to nothing. The fight we’re having, the job we didn’t get, the real or imagined slight, the unexpected need to shift course, the thing we wanted, but didn’t get. Most of it won’t matter 20, 30, 40 years from now. It’s hard to see long term when all you know is short term, but unless it’s life-threatening, let it go, and move on. It is really how you choose to see that determines if it is a bad or a good situation.
Have you ever wondered why some people are continuously ‘lucky’? Everything seems to go right for them, they are rarely upset and have a constant smile on their face. So, you think their life is perfect; lacking problems or troubles. I know plenty of people like that and am currently in the process of learning what makes them so happy. It almost seems unfair, that some people just get what they want in life – while others don’t. But I thought that if they can do it, then so can I. So I found that the reason they are so ‘lucky’ is not that they have a perfect life and no problems – but the way they handle these and choose to experience life. It is no longer a secret that what you give out is what you get. And if you constantly swear and are unhappy, well, then you will often find yourself in unhappy situations. Yet, I have found that every single one of us has at least some control over their situations. And it all starts in reactions, mindset and perspectives. Changing your view or changing your perspective can change your life for the better. That’s why it’s always important to seek fresh perspectives. Looking through a new lens –or just a clean one — can put you in a whole new place and put you on a better life path. Without perspective, you might not understand that even if you win the rat race, you’re still a rat. Instead of asking “Who Moved My Cheese? Ask, “How can I move myself out of here to get a better view of things?”
When facing a problem, there are two ways you can look at it – as a problem, or a challenge to find a solution to. Your perspective on it will change the way you handle it. If you then handle it in a positive, hopeful way, chances of resolving it are so much higher. Now, imagine always having a positive attitude: you smile more, trust more, have more fun and see life as an opportunity, rather than a misery. This is how so called lucky people find themselves in favourable situations – some of these situations may be considered problems by someone else, however that person lacks the ‘problem’ perspective, and only sees the good in life.
So, how can YOU change your perspective to a more positive one?
1. When you find yourself in a bad situation, take a deep breath. After 3 deep breaths you should be more calm, and have a clearer mind to change your thinking pattern. Then, think about the situation, and find at least 3 good things that could arise from it.
2. When you see a person who has mastered the positive attitude, watch them, and ask them for advice. Learning from others is always a very effective way to get better at something. So watch them, talk to them, and find out what they are doing, then apply it to yourself.
3. Stop looking at everything that goes wrong, and focus on what’s going right.
It’s all in how you look at things – a matter of perspective. Sometimes how you look at things makes all the difference in the world. Is it a rain storm that ruined your picnic, or is it a healthy rain that is nourishing the plants and animals? Or maybe it’s an opportunity to have a carpet picnic with your family – all the fun, none of the ants! We’re so conditioned to look at things and see the negative. We need to learn to condition ourselves to see the positive side of situations. Why? Simple. Things are not always going to go our way. If we train ourselves to look for the bright side, it will make those times much more tolerable. Perspective is an amazing thing, so is life…try and keep it in perspective.
One of the big differences between people who are successful in life and business and people who aren’t is how they look at things, which in turn shapes how they make decisions. If you aren’t satisfied with your progress up the corporate ladder, the value of your investment portfolio or your ability to find a partner you might have more success by altering how you look at things and therefore how you decide to act.
Understanding one’s self and the ways in which one has been socialized to see the world are indispensable for understanding others in respectful, inclusive ways. Learning to see the wonder of life in a blade of grass is perhaps one of the most important things we can learn. If we can’t see the beauty and wonder of life in nature, how can we see it in each other. Did you pay off a tiny debt? Did you finish a project that took you forever? Before diving into the next thing, take a moment to have a little victory party with those you love.
Finally, in life, nothing is "wrong" or "right" (very rare circumstances aside). "Wrong" and "right," especially in regard to where you want to go in life, are relative terms. Too often, we think of "success" or "doing what we love" as an end. Like it's some destination that we have to reach. What so many people fail to realize is that both of those terms are more of an approach to the journey, not the end of the journey itself. You are "successful" when you are walking your path, always learning, always growing. You are "doing what you love" when you see every moment as an opportunity. It's on you to discover what that opportunity is. Where a lot of Millennials and young adults (my peers) seem to get frustrated is they see everything as permanent. They say, "I'm stuck here," looking at their cubicle job as the end, there is nowhere else to go, and they feel like they will never reach the desired destination of "success." But no matter where you work, or what you're doing, there are lessons to be learned. And unless you can discover those lessons and embrace your own journey, you will never actually reach the state of feeling "successful"--in the sense that you are learning and growing and effortlessly becoming a better version of yourself. The reason why so many people struggle with this is because it means taking accountability. It is so, so easy to sit in a cubicle or an office or even somewhere you enjoy being and say, "This place isn't giving me enough. It's not making me grow." This is the same as blaming other people for how you feel, or your personal issues. Just like a mirror, if you point, your reflection will point back. The key is to point at yourself. If you look in the mirror and you point at your physical self, your reflection in the mirror will point at itself. When you "pull the thumb," you take accountability. You are shifting your perspective from "blame" to "ownership." You are allowing yourself to open up and see opportunity instead of oppression. This same theory goes for everything: work, personal relationships, even the way you feel about yourself. In conclusion, always focus on the lesson, not the problem. Remember, perspective can be everything.
Culled from my book, The Path Less Travelled (https://www.amazon.com/Path-Less-Travelled-Reflections-Learning/dp/1540663507/ref=la_B01NAFINA0_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1518345927&sr=1-1).
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