Sunday, August 23, 2020

The Pressure To Be

There is such an enormous self inflicted pressure in the world today to 'be' or better put, to be thought of as 'being part.' The weight to ‘be seen as belonging’ weighs heavily on the shoulders of many young people.

The hit song by Rudeboy of the defunct Psquare band puts it best. He titled it 'Audio money.' That is, superficial money. The money people only possess on social media. There are too many cases of people whose daily reality is at variance with their online appearance. Who cares for food when the recent iPhone has not been bought. What does helping your loved ones matter when there are latest designers to be bought. Behind their screens, people live hard lives but they will rather stay with the silent angst than allow you see through their filters.

I had an experience about two years ago where a female Nigerian celebrity (You will know her but the intent of this post is not to call out anyone) was onboard same international flight with me. She came with a carry-on bag into the business class area. What I saw for the duration of the flight shocked me. She used the rest room for more than 4 times; at every point changing into different attires and into her different shades of wigs. Each time she changed, she hands over her phone to the air hostess and ask her to take her pictures from diverse angles, holding different variance of wine content each time. The attention to detail was flawless. Poor air hostess. She had to pretend she was enjoying the experience, but her poker face suggested that she had seen this scene several times before. I was gobsmacked. This celebrity lady will go on to post these pictures at different times in the weeks and months ahead. Possibly with several captions that portrayed her gallivanting the world, and ‘living the life.’ And I could wager that someone will be laying at the edge of his or her bed watching this celebrity Instagram story and cursing the life he or she has in comparison to this celebrity. The facade of it all. The sheer facade of it all! There was really something deeply sad watching that. The fact that this celebrity had it all planned out. The fact that she felt the need to hatch out this facade. The fact that her need to ‘pepper them’ outmuscled her sense of reason. The fact that she didn’t see the degradation of her self in that act. The fact she that she felt she wasn’t enough ‘as is.’ It was a sordid experience.

It is fine to have a well put together image on social media, but may the life of 'opulence' we portray not be a facade in real life. They say fake it till you make it, but how exhausting must that life be. May we have the wisdom to spend that cash in making our reality better than spending it for the gram. Ultimately, may we realize that those we desperately want to 'impress' in the end, bloody do not matter!

2 comments:

  1. I understand your point totally & absolutely, but do you know that a consideration in getting some jobs depends on how many IG followers one has & the average number of Likes?  & in this Actress case perhaps some endorsements needs some certain level of being "facade". I understand your point. Thank you for sailing your ship without sinking someone else's. But I just want to bring it to fore that lots of things which people call vain are perquisites in some industry & most times the people doing them really would not want to do it on a normal circumstances, but can they help it,  they have to hustle.  Mind you, I'm talking from my own experience,  lots of jobs slipped by me,  cause of my IG page (A  TV station wanna give you a platform,  but they want you to have over 3k followers & what does present day followers wanna see & Like if not some gorgeous outfits in a Business Class with Some exotic wine).

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    Replies

    1. Hi there

      Thanks for your comment. I honestly find it insightful and I like the perspective from which you came.

      I agree that in this era of social media, some people’s livelihoods hinges on being ‘seen’ to be living the ‘life.’ I get that, and I understand that such is the nature of the industry. It is largely a ‘make believe.’

      However, there is a fine line between that and living a lie. No job, and I repeat, no job should make us live a lie. It is fine to aspire to this life, or extend yourself in certain instances to portray the image. However, in the instance I cited, that was living an outright lie to get by. That pressure is exhausting, and no one should have to put themselves under it for any reason. More and more, we need to help create a society that helps people ‘just be.’

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